Ways to keep calm

nova

I dont think people realise how much this site has helped me through a really tough year, l could so easily have just sunk under a pile of deault notices, but its like merlin says if just one person realises what debt can do to people, then its all been worth it. l fight on as my parents had their house repossesed, years ago now, BUT if there had been somewhere like this for them to seek help, the outcome may have been different, but then you certainly didnt discuss your debts let alone having your house taken off you.
Having debt doesnt make any of us bad people, infact with our shared experiences we've proberly become even better people than we were before. Allthe people l have chatted to on here haveso much compassion, there should be much more caring and sharing everywhere.
Nova X

Merlinexcalibur

Well, I think it was needed TBH. So you have done good. I know it has ignited my fire ... or should that be 'ire?' But seriously. Like I said on Nova's thread ... other people will see it, give them the courage to fight back. That they aren't alone. I found that is the biggest thing earlier last year when realising I was in a terrible mess with debt and I did hide for a while, got terrified over letters, but then, one day, found CCCS number on the back of a card statement. Already tried out one of the other government based ones but I was a bit hesitant asking them because they asked for my NI number - what did they need that for for example? - so I used CCCS in the end. I am not on a DMP because my income is far less than £100 after everything has gone per month, but they did help me to get through the early stages of panic, fear, you name it. But that's the most important thing that mattered to me right then, I wasn't alone. I value that probably more in some ways than anything else. And coming to somewhere like MSE is a blessed relief, because others will support you and you are not alone in all this. Sadly, debt relief - free relief, that is - has been phased out in many parts of the country, leaving people with no one to turn to in times of crisis. So I find MSE is a VITAL role in all that. If only because a scared person can reach out online, touch and get support.

Anyway, least I got that debt letter printed off now.

Merlinexcalibur

Having debt doesnt make any of us bad people

Just saying this in jest but you will appreciate where I am coming from. But does borrowing our country into bankruptcy, the lives, jobs lost in thousands per day, more on the way, bother Gordon Brown with his 'borrowing to get out of debt' malarky? So why should we feel bad? And the first advice an advisor normally will give is never borrow yourself out of debt. So what example is our PM showing to people who are already in debt, suffering but anyone else for the future? He can sleep at night I imagine, so should the rest of us. Perspective.

nova

You ar sooooooright Merlin, lm glad you've got that letter done, l suppose l'd better go and do that court acknowledgement thing now, do you think its too early for a glass of wine!!!!

Merlinexcalibur

No. Not at all. Go, enjoy yourself. Because I lost count of the days out somewhere nice that were ruined by a debt letter - they come all the same day, same date even when from different ones; must be a massive warehouse somewhere - last year. I can't guarantee things will ever go the way we want them to but there are always people here who will listen, support you.

Talking of wine, but I've been very naughty, not taken any betablockers - for neurological troubles before anyone says I am an addict or it's for 'those' problems - but I must dash cos I meant to go out 2 hours ago, but have been enjoying myself here too much.

nova

Merlinexcalibur wrote: »

No. Not at all. Go, enjoy yourself. Because I lost count of the days out somewhere nice that were ruined by a debt letter - they come all the same day, same date even when from different ones; must be a massive warehouse somewhere - last year. I can't guarantee things will ever go the way we want them to but there are always people here who will listen, support you.

Talking of wine, but I've been very naughty, not taken any betablockers - for neurological troubles before anyone says I am an addict or it's for 'those' problems - but I must dash cos I meant to go out 2 hours ago, but have been enjoying myself here too much.

Hope you didnt miss you bus, my OH knows lm on here a lot of the time (gathering info of course!!) but l still sit here with duster and polish in hand so it looks good when he comes in!!!

Blackruby

You want to talk about time wasting, I've been on a funny site all afternoon and read all 90 pages worth of entries.

Merlinexcalibur

Back now. Anyone else think this thread should be made a sticky? It's full of very good, supportive info not just financial? And it's mostly support people do need as well as debt. They go hand in hand.

Blackruby

Possibly, I'll keep working on the thread, posting at least one relaxing or stress busting tip and maybe one of the board mods will sticky it. If not then at least I'll know the thread is getting to page one at least once a day.

Blackruby

Good morning all stress free hopefuls!

Today's tip from me is: Never rely exclusively on other people to make you happy, because you will come to expect it and if someone lets you down, then you will feel miserable and depressed. It is much better to appreciate when people do help you out and make you happy, but to never rely on it.

Only you can make yourself happy, there used to be times when I would be so depressed because x thing wasn't working out. I completely overlooked that w, y, z, a, b, c were going brilliantly.

There will always be things in our lives that aren't going to plan, but as long as you acknowledge it and do what you can to change them, then you can appreciate what's going good all the better.

That's my tip for today, see you later.

Stay calm and get on with your life.

Heidi