Depression Support Thread

absolutebounder

Sssssss wrote: »

Now in my 2nd week of the new job and finding it tough, it's not so much the work but more the tiredness but mainly the polictics!

There are 2 people there who feel as though I need to know everything that is wrong and has been wrong with the company going back years, I think they love the sound of their own voices. I could spend 3 hours being trained of which 1 hour is actually learning the job and the other 2 gossip!

I'm just happy to HAVE a job. Yesterday I told them to please leave me out of the politics and also told the boss how I feel, even though I say it myself I'm proud I had the courage to tackle the problem there and then.

Everyone have a great Friday whatever you are doing. Sssssss.

There are always people like this. Remember you dont have to be freinds with workmates, you just work there. humour them for the few hours of work. Tell them thatwhatever went wrong in the past has happened so it aint worth bothering about it. Keep head down and enjoy being a productive part of the community.

Sssssss

Hey AB nice to see you posting again, hope all is well with you.

One good thing about life after depression is it does help you focus your energy on things that really matter. I remember at the peak of my depression my doctor told me you will get / feel better and when you do it will be even better then before the depression, I just looked at him thinking yeah right.

But he was right on the good days I do feel a lot more calmer and have learned to appreciate the good things, health, family / friends and now work.

beachbeth

Well done, La-Cara!:T

I know exactly what you mean, Sssssss. I used to hate office politics when I was at work. I avoided it at all costs and really got annoyed if I got dragged into it. As you say, some people just like the sound of their own voices and can't understand that other people don't want to listen to them constantly! As AB said, just keep out of it as much as possible and have the view that what has happened before is done and dusted. Its the future that matters. Well done for speaking up and telling them how you feel - I always found that very difficult.

Im doing all my cleaning up this morning and then going to the hairdressers this afternoon as my hair is driving me mad! I really ought to try a mobile because the hairdressers charge so much, but I wanted this treat because of what a !!!!!! start we've had to 2009.

Have a good Friday everyone!

Jo_R_2

Wow now I'm confused about the threads - I'm guessing this is the 'regular' thread from now on?

The last couple of days seem to have gone in a haze, not sure where LOL... My sleep is very patchy and although I'm only getting maybe four hours' sleep in chunks, I'm managing to get through the day okay oddly

I've had the nesting plaguing me, there's always something on my mind to sort out. Which is a bit of a pain as I can't rest until I get my list of things to do ticked off, but it has meant I've been quite organised and productive, so yay for that, especially with money! :j

I have spent the last few evenings running round like a mad laydee after DD1 in bed, sorting out 'stuff', you name it I've done it, all home birth stuff put neatly away in boxes for when things start happening, housework fairly up-to-date, finances in some kind of order, but that has meant the time I had been spending in the evenings doing my "relaxation" has been overlooked, so I've booked me in some ME time this evening, going to send OH out so I can chill out.

I'm now off for a short visit to town to go to the bank - bit of a pain as there isn't a local branch anywhere nearby but will be a couple of things to tick off the 'things to do' list so that's fine with me really.

Will try and check in later! xxxxxx

Tiff_2

Hi guys!
Morninks all! How's you?
I'd like to send a warm Tiffy thread cat , to (deep breath!) - npsmama (nps), kiwifruit (kiwi), cazziebo (caz), whitty999 (whitty), lolababy (lola), listerofsmeg (lister), busybody (busy), racyred (racy), grunny, jellymid (jelly), leothecat (leo), minxybella (bella), rocky4, hearts and hethmar! It's really lovely to see you all and thanks for your posts - there are some really good ideas here! I hope you'll stay around and join in. Really nice group of peeps here with a variety of experiences, all ready with a friendly word or ten. I'd just like to reassure you, as I tend to do once in a while, that yes, I do know I'm not a cat and that's not the reason I started posting here! I just have a fondness for all things feline and smileys, as you'll no doubt notice.

Welcome to fur-riday guys - the weekend is upon us. Anyone got something exciting planned? I know a few of us have now got new boyfriends/girlfriends so I'm sure you'll get spoiled. Have a wonderful St.Valentine's Day all of you. Sadly, my search for the next Mr.Tiff continues still.

I just want to send a little reminder to you all today in case you've forgotten the date...

It can be especially helpful, if your life is like mine on such days, - - to have all the warning you can get!
Wishing you all safe journeys. Be kind to yourself guys.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi gilly-badgie!

At least I hope that's what it says!

Congratulations gilly-brocky-badgie!

Couldn't resist this angel...

Facts about Aquarius
''The Aquarius loves a party. Anytime, anywhere is their motto. It is not unlikely that an Aquarius will consider a convent a good place to meet chicks.
Aquarians tend to be nostalgic about the 1960s because that was the last time they could be naked in public and get away with it.
Aquarians love to be naked.
97.4% of Jack Daniels consumed in the past thirty years, has been consumed by Aquarians.
Almost every Aquarian will claim to have seen Jerry Garcia's image in their Froot Loops at least once. Froot Loops is a very Aquarian cereal. So is Rice Krispies, since it will engage in a friendly chat with the Aquarian as he or she is eating breakfast. Count Chocula is off-limits, however. It belongs to the Scorpios.
Aquarians are the only people in the zodiac who can play volleyball with themselves. And they frequently do.
Aquarians use the phrase "Dude, man..." frequently when describing philosophical concepts.
Aquarians have out-of-body experiences on a daily basis. If you are talking to an Aquarian and he or she zones out, consider the conversation hopeless. He or she is talking to the guy three feet away from you.
Aquarians are fun because they channel people. Plus, if you tell them to, they will run around naked.
Aquarians like astronomy because they've been to all those places. If you want to know what the food is like on Saturn, ask an Aquarius. They can also walk on water if they try really really hard. This usually happens in the bathtub.
Aquarians can allow themselves every possible vice on the planet, and don't think twice about it. They are cosmically entitled to do this. Most rock stars are Aquarians.''

I wish you everything wonderful for your new birthday year sweetheart. Good luck, good health and much happiness gilly.

Much Love,

Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi npsmama!
Firstly hunnie, I have to say well done on having the courage to post about your situation - I know just how hard that can be.
As you've seen from the replies here, you are most certainly not alone in what you're going through.(HUGS) You've had some great replies - racyred, I'm on the same train too! - and I'm sure they've helped you, angel. I have to say that I can really empathise with you, as will many others, and your thoughts are ones that I have had myself, hun.

I read through your post angel and I think that it might help to break it down into bite size chunks:
- your current mental health and what to do next
- the practical problems of managing everything on your own when you're struggling and feeling overwhelmed
- your self esteem and feeling there isn't help for you.

May I please give you some thoughts on these three points which I hope will help, nps? You may have heard them before, so I'm sorry if that's the case. I really hope that you don't feel like I'm preaching here, because I sincerely don't mean it to come across like that. As always hunnie, please think very carefully about all your options and always discuss them with your health professionals. I'm not a professional, just a Tiff who's been, (and still occasionally visits!), somewhere similar to yourself.

- your current mental health and what to do next -

I'm glad that the psych team is following up with you angel because at least this means you're already in the system and can get access to more help. May I ask what support do you currently have, nps? Do you have a cpn who sees you regularly?

From what you say here, you seem to recognize a need for more help and that's a good thing angel. It shows that you already have some insight into how you're feeling. There's nothing wrong with needing more help - that's what they're there for! It's helpful when we feel we've got a plan of action to follow instead of feeling stuck with the same problems and feeling helpless.

Please contact your team hunnie. Don't leave it until your next psych appointment - if you can, call the secretary or your gp and explain that you're really struggling and need to see someone more quickly. The professionals are there to help and have access to many resources and if something's not working for you, you have to tell them how you're honestly feeling so they can work with you to find a better plan. If they don't know how you're really feeling, they can't help you with it hun.
Again, I know this is a big step and if you think you'll find it hard to open up to them, write down exactly how you're feeling and what your thoughts are and don't worry about editing it or spell-checking it. Then give it to your team. I often say it's a good idea to also print off your posts and show them to your dr. When you're feeling very emotional, this can really help because, let's face it, when we post here about our mental health, we're usually struggling and are being blatantly honest about how we're feeling. This can really help give your team a clear picture of your situation - almost like a snapshot of what's going on.

I've been down to the Tiff archives and here are some links from well-established, reputable national sources, including the NHS, which cover mainly depression and which may give you some helpful pointers...

NHS has an informative site at:
http://www.nhs.uk/Pathways/depression/Pages/Living.aspx

MIND is a national mental health charity and has confidential help and advice on a range of mental health issues. Also has a diverse range of information, leaflets, factsheets and publications for service users. It provides information and support to people with experience of mental ill health and to carers.

Website: www.mind.org.uk

and more specifically,

http://www.mind.org.uk/Information/Booklets/Understanding/Understanding+depression.htm

E-mail: [EMAIL="info@mind.org.uk"]info@mind.org.uk[/EMAIL]
They also have a helpline, ''MindinfoLine'', which is open Monday to Friday from 9a.m. to 5p.m. on 0845 766 0163.(lo-call rate)

Rethink works to help everyone affected by severe mental illness recover a better quality of life. Operates a range of community based mental services (e.g. housing support projects) and local self help groups throughout the UK.
E-mail: [EMAIL="advice@rethink.org"]advice@rethink.org[/EMAIL]
Web: www.rethink.org
Advice line: 0845 456 0455
Information Line: 020 8974 6814, Monday, Wednesday, Friday, 10.00am-3.00pm and Tuesday and Thursday, 10.00am-1.00pm (national rate)

SANE is one of the UK's leading charities concerned with improving the lives of everyone affected by mental illness.
Website: www.sane.org.uk
E-mail: [EMAIL="sanemail@sane.org.uk"]sanemail@sane.org.uk[/EMAIL]
Helpline: 0845 767 8000, every day, 1.00pm-11.00pm (lo-call rate)

- the practical problems of managing everything on your own when you're struggling and feeling overwhelmed -
It sounds as if you're quite isolated support-wise, angel.
I mentioned about the mental health practical steps you can take to help your depression hunnie, but there's practical help for the domestic side too. It's hard to suggest things without knowing how old your children are or what part of the country generally that you're in, because that can make a difference. Do you have a family social worker? Social services also have resources they can access - and no, that doesn't necessarily mean putting your children into care at all. - including temporary respite care or befriending schemes.

Here's some links to a national charities which may be useful hun...

Home-Start is a national network of groups offering support and help to families who need it, especially to those with young children, with one being under 5.
web: www.home-start.org.uk
infoline: 08000 686 368

MEET A MUM Aims to provide friendship and support to all mothers and mothers-to-be, especially those feeling lonely or isolated after the birth of a baby or moving to a new area. Also supports new self help groups and has information on its website about local self help groups.
Website: www.mama.co.uk
E-mail: [EMAIL="jeanette@mama.co.uk"][/email][EMAIL="jeanette@mama.co.uk"]jeanette@mama.co.uk[/EMAIL]
Helpline: 0845 120 3746, Monday-Friday, 7.00pm-10.00pm (lo-call rate)


NCH - Supports vulnerable children, young people and families
web: www.nch.org.uk
infoline: 08457 626 579


Also try and look in your local paper, the phone book under charities or your drs surgery about local groups which may be running.


- your self esteem and feeling there isn't help for you -

No hun, you're not a nutter - you're a member of the 1-in-4 club, if you wish to apply a kinder label. And to be more accurate, you are a natural survivor!
Does your partner know about your depression and how you're feeling, nps? There's suppoty available for him too. I know you said he works long hours but it really helps to open up and communicate with your partner or someone else, because it can help to talk to a loved one who will reassure you that you haven't lost the plot. By posting here hun, I'd hope that you have been a little relieved to have gotten all those thoughts and feelings off your chest. It is so important to keep communicating sweetheart.

These links are connected to the sites that have community and online forums where you can talk to other people in similar situations. Again, these are reputable sources but you should always use your own judgement about where you post and how much you want to say. It may be a good idea to do a spot of 'lurking' first to get the feel for a forum.

http://www.depressionalliance.org/docs/what_we_offer/self_help_groups.html
and
http://www.depressionalliance.org/docs/community/community.html

http://www.sane.org.uk/DB

Guideposts Trust exists to provide direct services for people with dementia, Alzheimer's, with or recovering from mental health problems and those with learning disabilities. 'We believe that all people have a right to an equality of opportunity.'
http://www.guidepoststrust.org.uk/
This seems to be mainly available in the central and southern regions at the moment, hunnie.

I hope those links will help you, or somebody else, angel.
I can truly understand your frustration nps, but I can't say how long your depression will last - no-one can because it's a very personal illness and affects everyone differently. I know you've tried meds and professional counselling but please keep an open mind hun. There are also different types of counselling available, as there are meds, and strangely, what didn't work before, might work at a different point in time with a different person. Please be reassured that you haven't tried everything yet, so don't give up hope.

Please tell your professionals that you think you might be needing a hospital stay. They may be able to help you without it coming to that. Having worked there also, and as others have said, they aren't bad places at all and they won't lock you up and throw away the key as in Victorian times. Generally speaking, the rooms are like bedrooms, usually ensuite, with TV lounges and also have activities of different kinds available. The important thing is that you get more intensive help. Of course, they'd also much rather help you manage at home and the crisis team can help with this during rough times. Mental health care is so much different today and they encourage you as much as possible to work with them to find the right treatment for you.

No-one would ever choose to have this illness, sweetheart. I know our thoughts always turn to our children and families and we worry for them. But believe me nps, I'm sure you're doing better than you think and that your children do love you very much. They are quite resilient hun, especially when so young, so please don't fret too much. If you think it will help, why not give your surgery's Health Visitor a call? Sadly, sometimes you have to be strong enough to keep asking for help loudly until you find what's right for you and never give up until you get it.

Don't go to the drs with any set expectations for a magical cure, which is what many of us look for, because no-one can promise that. It's taken a long time for your illness to build up and it makes sense that it's going to take some time to help it get under control. It'll take as long as it takes and we need to keep an open mind then we can't be disappointed.
I can almost reassure you about one thing though hunnie - things will change for you. Nothing ever stays the same and that applies to depression too - you can have good days as well. I know you probably can't see it now, but there is hope for you, angel. I've had input for quite a few years and it's sometimes slow, hard work and you can't always see immediate progress. But it is happening and it has helped me fight my depression and years of agoraphobia.

There's no right or wrong amount of time for recovery. Some people have depression for many years and with a successful regime have very full and ''normal'' (hate that word!) lives and learn to keep their depression ''gremlin'' under control. I hope this has helped and if nothing else, at least you know now that you're not alone and there is hope. You're very welcome here angel.

I think the most important thing is that you get the help that's right for you and try not to worry about how long it takes. It's always one step at a time and you really do need to be kind to yourself when you're struggling.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tulip

npsmama wrote: »

I have many. many hobbies but none of them are compatible with my 2 young toddlers.
I do agree that going out helps. i've sometimes wondered about getting a dog but i think it would be another pressure on me now.
Has anyone come across the idea of setting up a Grab Jar?
Details here: http://www.netmums.com/pnd/PND_Grab_jar.315/
I might give it a go

welcome to the thread

Katie

Tulip

:hello: Everyone,

Morning! hope all is well,I am fine today,off to the pub for lunch today and to see friends then a food shop then coming home and relaxing

Have a lovely day!


love and light,

Katie xxx

Jo_R_2

Tulip wrote: »

:hello: Everyone,

Morning! hope all is well,I am fine today,off to the pub for lunch today and to see friends then a food shop then coming home and relaxing

Have a lovely day!


love and light,

Katie xxx

Ooooh you're brave Katie - there's certain times in my head that I avoid the food shop at the supermarket and a Friday afternoon is one of them... Many years ago (LOL) I used to work at one so I think it's mentally ingrained the times of the week I was run off my feet!

Me doing the relaxing thing too this evening yay! :j