Guests paying for your honeymoon

kiraroo

Alleycat wrote: »

Whilst we will be asking those who wish to buy us a present to donate to our honeymoon, I think it would be a bit rude to put the note in with the invites.

A relative did this to us last year and I felt it was a bit forward. I assume you will be sending out info sheets once your guests have RSVP'ed and so you could include the information regarding your request on this.

every wedding invite i've recieved has had a gift list included in it, not sure if this is any different?

i'm just sending an invite with directions and info about contributing towards the honeymoon, not going to mail people twice especially since most guests live far away and would have to pay for postage twice. equally never recieved a further mailing from someone after rsvping to their wedding.

i guess each person does things their own way

Alleycat

kiraroo wrote: »

every wedding invite i've recieved has had a gift list included in it, not sure if this is any different?

i'm just sending an invite with directions and info about contributing towards the honeymoon, not going to mail people twice especially since most guests live far away and would have to pay for postage twice. equally never recieved a further mailing from someone after rsvping to their wedding.

i guess each person does things their own way

Its no different, I think that is pretty rude as well. Its like I'd dearly love you to come to my wedding but make you sure you buy me a present.

The reason we are sending info sheets out once all RSVP's are back is for people to indicate their choice of food, info re hotels etc. If its cost of stamps you are worried about, I don't think anyone would notice or mind if you send them second class.

I know a lot of people do it the way you are, but I just think that its quite insulting and a bit in your face. I know a lot of the older generation would think it a bit uncouth.

kiraroo

as i said before, i guess people do it their own way, don't think there's a right or a wrong way. i'm going to send the hotel, directions, food choice with the invites but i guess it's each to their own, i dont have any older generation to invite but even if i did i'd still do it this way

homeaway

Hi i have known people give their bank accounts for people to transfer funds to , each to their own. I think some would rather know that they are paying for a meal out or a day trip on your honey moon.You could tell guests the costs of different things you would like to do. I know that some people ask guests not to send a gifts but tell them if they wanted to contribute to a honeymoon they could put some money in a sealed envelope and place it in a large pot at the reception. People might be less emabarassed by this if they can only afford a few pounds. It is your day, do what makes you happy.

Taadaa

WE are goingto a wedding in the summer and they have asked for money for their honeymoon. We have been downgraded from day to evening guests because they didn't think to ask the venue on restriction of numbers. I personally find it a bit cheeky that they have asked us to put money in the account and told us we can't come to the day before they have even sent us the formal invite. They are also going on about how much money they have. Call me rude, but I have no intention, under these circumstances, of giving them a penny. OH doesnt want to stay overnight so even if it's a free bar, we will only be having soft drinks anyway.

Miles16v

Taadaa wrote: »

WE are goingto a wedding in the summer and they have asked for money for their honeymoon. We have been downgraded from day to evening guests because they didn't think to ask the venue on restriction of numbers. I personally find it a bit cheeky that they have asked us to put money in the account and told us we can't come to the day before they have even sent us the formal invite. They are also going on about how much money they have. Call me rude, but I have no intention, under these circumstances, of giving them a penny. OH doesnt want to stay overnight so even if it's a free bar, we will only be having soft drinks anyway.

Those issues aside, and if they were struggling to pay for their wedding, do you think asking for money for a honeymoon is acceptable?

bandraoi

No.

It's acceptable to respond to queries about what you would like for a wedding with a guest list, or a gentle hint about money. It is not acceptable to broach the subject yourself, particularly by including it in the invites.

ema_o

It is done quite widely these days and I think it is ok. I really think it depends on your circumstances, your group of friends and the people you are inviting.
If there is anyone you were inviting who would be offended by this I would just leave the bit about gifts out of the invite and let them get in touch. Personally I am quite happy to give my friends money towards a honeymoon and would rather be told this is what they want.

duchy

I've worked in travel agencies where people did this. To be honest when the bride and groom are ringing up daily to check how much has been paid and by whom and then commenting on who was generous and who wasn't-it just made me sick. Now there is no way I'd ever contribute a gift that way.

Sammy_Girl

You could try putting a "money poem" in with your invites or info sheets. Something like:


We know it’s not tradition
It’s not the way it’s done
But instead of a Wedding List
We’d love a bit of sun
We’ve lived together quite a while
And all the bills are paid
We’ve got our plates, our pots and pans,
Our plans have all been made,
We would appreciate your help though,
To send us on our way
A contribution to our honeymoon
In a land quite far away
But, most importantly, we request,
You come to our Wedding as our guest
To share with us our special day
And have some fun along the way