If things get tougher?

knittingnelly

We'll have to agree to disagree on this one Ceridwen If I need something and I can't afford it (usual state of affairs!) then I LOVE getting it as a prezzie, and if it's useful that's just fine:D In fact, I would love a slo cooker and the dog has eaten the pressure cooker (don't ask, she's big and determined and a bit thick:D ) so either of those would be very well received. And very useful too!

My life wouldn't be worth living if DH didn't get handknitted socks in his Xmas stocking but are they necessity or luxury? Maybe both Last year he got a bag of yarn with a pattern pinned to the front as being a full time student AND a full time mum left zero time to knit a v big jumper! It'll be done by the time the cold weather comes:o The kids always get one item of clothing in their stocking. Now DS1 is getting fussier and has his own money i may not do that for him any longer but if it's something I know they would like then a present is a present in my book

Valli

sammy_kaye18 wrote: »

Evening all

Well just wanted to pop in and say hello. Speaking of gifts ome of you who use the daily thread may know today - I am the birthday girl. Well Ive had a very OS birthday indeed.

:THappy Birthday ! Hope it's a good un!

Valli

knittingnelly wrote: »

We'll have to agree to disagree on this one Ceridwen

Me too! My kids have more than enough - but when you think of the HUNDREDS of pounds spent on gifts - well, I'd far rather it was something they will use than a piece of plastic they won't - and believe me I have bought 'longed for' gifts only to have them tossed aside soon after purchase or, worse still, BROKEN on Xmas day! It has driven me mad. And I still have the robot my son begged for - and barely played with - that I couldn't sell for a half decent price at a car boot. It's in the attic now - because I begrudged 'giving' it away after I scrimped for it!
What we parents need is an idea of the kind of things that kids REALLY play with - well I'll put Duplo and Lego in for a start.
What happens is people spend because they think they should. That's why kids go to parties and come back with party bags full of junky plastic and additive filled sweets - it's a consumer proliferation thing we all get involved in. Let's break the chain folks.
MONEY AND USEFUL THINGS ARE ACCEPTABLE GIFTS. Don't believe me? Ask the flyladies how many 'thing' flings they wouldn't need if we cut down on plastic junk. And don't get me started on Happy Meal toys! And once they are teenagers - give 'em the cash. Let them make their own spending/saving decisions.
GRRRRR - and - do you know how they MAKE plastic? s'not a bit green!!
:eek:
rant over!:mad:
Repeat the mantra - MONEY AND USEFUL THINGS ARE ACCEPTABLE GIFTS (unless - dare I say it? you're a spoilt brat!)
One of my own gifts last Xmas was a (second) compost bin! It's lovely!!

wigglebeena

ceridwen wrote: »

To give a child necessary clothes at Christmas/birthday and call it a "present" is equivalent to a husband giving his wife a vacuum cleaner for instance for her birthday (something the house needed anyway and both of them would get the benefit of - in other words she hadnt had a present at all).

Yes, I got this a couple of years too, and still (even now!) feel annoyed thinking about it. Especially since siblings got rather nice and pricey presents the same years...

I can understand in a way: when money is tight it's easy to justify this to yourself. But it's not right, especially when it looks like favouritism (even if it's not, just easier to 'disguise' economising with one kid than another, or one is more vociferously demanding - a 'squeaky wheel').

Kids aren't daft - they know, and notice, even if you think they don't.

meanmarie

I write a list every year of things that I would like for Christmas, things that I would like but can't really justify spending money on...but nothing for the house ever goes on the list.
I have seven 'children' who now mostly have partners and there are five grandchildren...I used to drive myself up the wall trying to find something for each of them for Christmas so a few years ago I decided to just do token presents...last year they got scarves, hats, slippers...all homemade and costing very little, as well as odds and ends I had picked up in charity shops and sales...doing more of the same this year..it makes Christmas feel more like it used to and I don't feel guilty in any way...they are all better off than I am and prefer to choose their own things so it suits us all.
My children never got just clothes as presents but did sometimes get clothes they had requested and my grandchildren love hand knitted sweaters so there is usually one in the parcel...I think that this is a 'horses for courses' thing.

Night all

Marie

wigglebeena

I think it's different giving an adult a pressie they 'need' - and want. Versus giving a kid a 'present' of something they need (but don't particularly want - just have to have as a necessity of daily life). Try asking a kid!

Does sports gear required by school activities (not extra-curricular ones, compulsory ones) qualify as a 'present'? Just as an example of something a kid couldn't do without, whether classed as a 'present' or not.

If your car 'went' and your OH got it fixed at the garage as your 'Xmas pressie' would you be impressed? (Or, even better, paid half - his half of expenses - as the pressie).

wigglebeena

meanmarie wrote: »

My children never got just clothes as presents but did sometimes get clothes they had requested and my grandchildren love hand knitted sweaters so there is usually one in the parcel...I think that this is a 'horses for courses' thing.

Night all

Marie

That's different. And I always appreciated the effort when my Mum knitted me jumpers (especially as she didn't much like knitting).

ceridwen

wigglebeena wrote: »

I think it's different giving an adult a pressie they 'need' - and want. Versus giving a kid a 'present' of something they need (but don't particularly want - just have to have as a necessity of daily life). Try asking a kid!

.

Which is a good point - and I still go with husbands not giving wifes useful presents for the house or vice-versa.

However - it is not necessary to be "consumerist" - presents can also be "experiences" - as well as "goods" - eg a session at a beautician or hairdresser or expensive day out or something.

It all depends on the relationship between the people concerned - as a child I felt it was only right that my presents be something "extra" and luxury (particularly as I rarely had anything remotely luxury - so presents were one of the few chances I had of getting that). Now I am an adult - for years now when my mother asks what I want for Christmas I instantly reply with a choice of "useful" items - like new kettle, new ironing board, etc - as I dont want something just for the sake of being a "consumer" NOW and its stuff that will only be useful to me personally - and these sort of things now denote an acceptance that I am an adult householder in my own right (anyway - my mother never did have much idea what's my taste and what isnt:rolleyes: - probably from too many years of wanting me to have the same taste as hers - I dont!).

I've had problems for years wondering what to buy my parents for presents - as they have everything they want (other than a better house - out of my price range methinks:cool: ). I can't think of a thing to put on any "list" for them anymore either - as I have all the smaller stuff now - and something like a new kitchen is much too expensive to ask them for:rolleyes: (darn - as that IS a necessity - given the state of my kitchen!)

sammy_kaye18

My Ben always gets clothes at christmas - he is 4 years old.

Christmas Eve the elves bring him a brand new pair of pyjamas which he loves.

Then if he needs some clothes I will always make sure he has things he likes 9we are on a power rangers/cars/transformer stage at present) so it will probabyl be tshirts with one of these on etc but still items he needs but Ben has been brought up getting clothes as gifts which I dont think is a bad thing, and dont get me wrong if I could afford to spoil Ben then I would rotten probably being that hes my only child but I simply cant afford to. He gets presents he wants and he loves them, hes a grateful little boy who isnt bothered by price tags.

His favourite gift last year was the stocking I hung on the bottom of his bed. I made a apoint of him helping get santas plate ready with milk adn biscuits, and hanging his stocking. All his stocking had in it was 2 dvds from a charity shop which i think were BOGOF, a cheap wilko colouring book, pack of crayons, a reindeer teddy, and some chocolate coins but he was more than happy with that.

I think if you raise kids spoilt they will end up spoilt, if you raise kids realistically then they will grow up to be greatful moneysavers.

thriftlady_2

Valli wrote: »

Me too! My kids have more than enough - but when you think of the HUNDREDS of pounds spent on gifts - well, I'd far rather it was something they will use than a piece of plastic they won't - and believe me I have bought 'longed for' gifts only to have them tossed aside soon after purchase or, worse still, BROKEN on Xmas day! It has driven me mad. And I still have the robot my son begged for - and barely played with - that I couldn't sell for a half decent price at a car boot. It's in the attic now - because I begrudged 'giving' it away after I scrimped for it!
What we parents need is an idea of the kind of things that kids REALLY play with - well I'll put Duplo and Lego in for a start.
What happens is people spend because they think they should. That's why kids go to parties and come back with party bags full of junky plastic and additive filled sweets - it's a consumer proliferation thing we all get involved in. Let's break the chain folks.
MONEY AND USEFUL THINGS ARE ACCEPTABLE GIFTS. Don't believe me? Ask the flyladies how many 'thing' flings they wouldn't need if we cut down on plastic junk. And don't get me started on Happy Meal toys! And once they are teenagers - give 'em the cash. Let them make their own spending/saving decisions.
GRRRRR - and - do you know how they MAKE plastic? s'not a bit green!!
:eek:
rant over!:mad:
Repeat the mantra - MONEY AND USEFUL THINGS ARE ACCEPTABLE GIFTS (unless - dare I say it? you're a spoilt brat!)
One of my own gifts last Xmas was a (second) compost bin! It's lovely!!

Couldn't agree more Valli my kids actually request useful things now -new dressing gown, slippers, bags, camping things etc. We add surprises and treats but it is the useful things that last.