If things get tougher?

recovering_spendaholic

I have really noticed that things have gone up so much in the last month. When I was working full time I never looked at the prices in the supermarket and pretty much spent what I wanted, but since being made redundant and choosing to stay at home with the kids for a while (courtesy of a nice redundancy payment) I have really noticed how much more I am spending and I am desperately trying to cut back a bit. My teenage daughter, however, thinks money grows on trees and spends her entire Saturday job money (£160 a month) within a couple of days of being paid, and hardly ever gets her EMA because she never gets to school on time. When I was growing up in the late 70's my Mum knitted and sewed and scrimped and saved to give us stuff and I would never have dreamed of just helping myself to food without asking first, whereas my kids think they can just help themselves (and their friends and hollow-legged boyfriend) to whatever they want whenever they want it. As a child I had a school coat and a school blazer and they doubled for civvy coats as we couldn't afford to get another one. I also got an arran cardigan (with leather buttons - hand knitted by my Mum) and a kilt every Christmas as part of my presents - Icannot think what my kids would say if they got clothes as presents! I think I am a victim of my own desire to give my children the things I didn't have but it has backfired on me, particularly as money is now so tight.

jamanda

My grandkids get anything they think about. Not from me, but their grandmother in London is one who "buys" affection and sends everything she thinks about to them. I've seen them walking round Woolworths with £20 in their hands to squander. Have now nagged daughter into taking some off them for their moneybox and letting them have a little bit to spend.

She also "needs" school coat, going out coat, school shoes and/or sandals/boots plus going out shoes and trainers.

I too can remember A coat and A pair of shoes. I don't begrudge them anything, but I feel they have a nasty shock coming as they won't know whats hit them.

katieowl_2

recovering_spendaholic wrote: »

My teenage daughter, however, thinks money grows on trees and spends her entire Saturday job money (£160 a month) within a couple of days of being paid, and hardly ever gets her EMA because she never gets to school on time.

I think I am a victim of my own desire to give my children the things I didn't have but it has backfired on me, particularly as money is now so tight.

I told my eldest when she hummed and haadd about what a pain it was getting the teachers to sign of her EMA after every lesson that it was the easiest thirty quid a week she'd ever earn! After a couple of crap holiday jobs, and now she's finished uni she can't get A JOB...think she would wholeheartedly agree with me :rotfl:

Different story now - most of my middle daughters friends were in reciept of it at her school - only two I think, of her friends didn't qualify - a sign of the times methinks.

I know it's a hotly debated 'benefit' in some circles, but it's been a godsend for us - I'd have never 'made' the kids leave school to get a job at 16, but it we always 'theirs' to do with as they would - minus a contribution to the
rent free, all food provided lifestyle the had become accustomed to Both girls continued to take a packed lunch, when everyone else was heading off at lunchtime to spend money, and they certainly made their money stretch paying for their mobiles, clothes and entertainment, as well as christmas and their friends birthdays. It also meant they didn't need a part time job while they were doing their A levels, but a lot of their friends did, and they often fell by the wayside.

I think we all try to do better by our kids than we had done to us...In my case, being the only child of an only child (no aunts, uncles, cousins....) I had THREE kids :rolleyes: and opted to be a SAHM (my mum always worked)

Regards

Kate

sammy_kaye18

recovering - I only have one coat. Yep one and before I got said coat (christmas jsut gone) it was layers and a hoody on the top. My boyfriend brought me a coat after a bad welsh day and I was literally wringing walking through the door and had to strip in the hallway because I was soaked through from walking my little one to school. Boyfriend took me out that weekend and brought me a lovely coat - very MSE - 3/4 length and nice and thick - cost me only £40 and its the only coat I own.

My son in turn has maybe 3 coats - one school coat with fleece lining that unzips and a thinner one for summer, the 3rd is his new coat for when he goes up to school as he needed the logo'd one but this was given to me by his aunt whos son use to go to the same school and never wore it so cost me nothing . Shoe wise he has 2 pairs, a set of wellies and a seat of trainers - what else does a 4 year old need?? he may get slippers around september/october but this is more to keep his feet warm as im determined not to put the heating on unless i have to.


Boyfriend I think is starting to get the hint that things are gettign tighter - I jsut spent £60 on food shopping, hardly any household items and it still looks as though there is nothing in the cupboards. Boyfriend can be a bit of a label tart so hoping to nab his radox bottle (brought by his mum who didnt like the smell afterwards) and then Ill refill it to keep him happy - he need never know. he is pretty good with eating the tescos cereal (not value but their own brand) and has never complained - to be honest i think as long as hes clean, watered and fed hes happy.

We already use the cheap Daisy washing powder as its only £2.99 a box and washing up liquid, handwash (bf works on bikes/cars/mountain bikes alot) etc.

Primrose

Martda - the smart answer to that one is that the gadgets you have bought in order to save money are "investments". If a purchase helps you either make save money or save it, it's an investment. If it's just a new pair of shoes which you fancy, then it's an "expense". All your purchases sound like investments to me, and right now they'll bring you a lot more benefit than putting them into the stock market !!

mary43

originally posted by jamanda
My grandkids get anything they think about.

My teenage grandchildren live with their mother and seem to get everything from her side of the family.......top range computers etc. It got to the point when if I asked them what they wanted for Christmas they told me not to worry -they'd got everything. Considering they are spoilt so much they are brilliants kids and do understand that we can't afford to do what the other grandparents can.Nor can their Dad what with paying CSA and having a new partner now and baby so they get a fairly balanced view of things.

I've always bought my clothes from charity shops so have plenty of coats,jumpers, fleeces etc. (thank goodness). I moan sometimes about there being such a limit of shops in the town apart from the charity ones, but they are a godsend to me.

Valli

Icannot think what my kids would say if they got clothes as presents! I think I am a victim of my own desire to give my children the things I didn't have but it has backfired on me, particularly as money is now so tight.[/quote]

I have always given my own kids clothes as presents - and other useful stuff too, so now they're older they get deodorant, shower gel etc - exactly the sort of stuff they use. My daughter was once given, by me, a Maisie duvet set as part of her birthday pressie - my son received, from my sister, a Derby County duvet set, as a birthday gift too. And people love buying clothes as gifts for newborns (or knitting for them). I also gave 'useful' gifts to nieces and nephews, such as PJs, slippers, dressing gowns etc. My kids know that I think that kids who don't think clothes etc are acceptable gifts are spoilt. I'll never forget the attitude of an ex BIL who made it clear that he thought clothes were not gifts! I can't remember who told me that their child wouldn't even OPEN 'soft' presents because they would be clothes - but I can remember my horror! Also I have had kids bring my daughter and son clothes at birthday parties - thanks to those other mums for their common sense - much better to spend on a t shirt or PJs (and even socks once - fancy ones I wouldn't have bought which she loved) than plastic tat that soon gets forgotten.
Mind you - my kids wear hand-me-downs too!

Uniscots97

jamanda wrote: »

My grandkids get anything they think about. Not from me, but their grandmother in London is one who "buys" affection and sends everything she thinks about to them. I've seen them walking round Woolworths with £20 in their hands to squander. Have now nagged daughter into taking some off them for their moneybox and letting them have a little bit to spend.

She also "needs" school coat, going out coat, school shoes and/or sandals/boots plus going out shoes and trainers.

I too can remember A coat and A pair of shoes. I don't begrudge them anything, but I feel they have a nasty shock coming as they won't know whats hit them.

My OH has tried explaining this to our two. The eldest isn't too bad as he's gotten used to spending his wages on what he wants. Crunch time comes now when we've told him if he wants a car he'll have to pay for lessons and the insurance himself (we said we'd buy the car, nothing fancy just a little run around), he got a BIG shock when he saw his insurance was going to be about 2K and he's realised its car OR nice clothes he can't have both. He's in his final year at school and we've told him studying comes first so he can get a good job at the end of it. His younger sister expects just to get, slowly she's realising that money doesn't grow on trees. Yesterday it was drama because we said if she wanted to go to a concert that was her birthday present, she said "but I want a new mobile for my birthday (nothing wrong with the one she's got but its "so" old...... it was bought in January!!!!) and a tv for christmas (she wants a flat screen, nice little portable I got from freecycle isn't good enough apparently!), can't I just "get" the tickets!" The answer was NO and the huff started. She did have a little job (place changed owners) and it was only when it was her own money she was spending she realised how far it DOESN'T go! But its almost as though its a lesson quickly forgotten.

tim_n

Just received on the ol' email - thought it might be relevant to a few people perusing this thread! (I have no affiliations with panorama or the bbc, so don't reply to me, read the email!)

email:-

Right now we are working on a programme which will reveal the true effect of the credit crunch and rising cost of living. As was reported on Tuesday, inflation is at an 11-year high, but we want to know the story behind the figures and find out how this new economic climate is affecting your lives.

THIS IS WHERE YOU COME IN. WE WANT YOU TO FILL OUT A VERY SHORT QUESTIONNAIRE ON HOW YOU ARE FEELING THE SQUEEZE.


We will be sending the questions out in the next few days so IF YOU WANT TO BE INVOLVED please e-mail us at panorama@bbc.co.uk putting the word SQUEEZE in the subject heading and we will get back to you. Many thanks, the Panorama team.Right now we are working on a programme which will reveal the true effect of the credit crunch and rising cost of living. As was reported on Tuesday, inflation is at an 11-year high, but we want to know the story behind the figures and find out how this new economic climate is affecting your lives.

THIS IS WHERE YOU COME IN. WE WANT YOU TO FILL OUT A VERY SHORT QUESTIONNAIRE ON HOW YOU ARE FEELING THE SQUEEZE.


We will be sending the questions out in the next few days so IF YOU WANT TO BE INVOLVED please e-mail us at panorama@bbc.co.uk putting the word SQUEEZE in the subject heading and we will get back to you. Many thanks, the Panorama team.

tiff

Hmm, very interesting posts. I didnt have many clothes growing up and used to get them for birthday and Christmas which I hated as I felt these were the things I was supposed to have anyway, and Mum and Dad didnt get clothes for Christmas! (I am 39). I've never bought my kids clothes for a present, but they have had them from other members of the family, which I dont mind and my kids like having clothes from them.

Ive never thought presents should have to be useful though, presents are presents, things you would otherwise not be able to have.