The revenge of the stripey socks - a DFW adventure

gallygirl

fayjmck wrote: »

Just sometimes I wish he'd be as impetuous as I am and say OK - I am moving up. I have at least 5 years to go here - the thought of doing that on my own is a bit scary and a bit lonely......................................(please don't say awww - I am just feeling sorry for myself) how can you marry someone and then say Ok sorry got to go home now and each go to your own house - OR is that the ideal marriage??????

OH & I been together 11 years :eek:. We see each other Fri night - Sunday PM, with occasional midweek nights. I would like a little more, which is far better than being sick of the sight of him as we would probably be if we lived together . Assuming I didn't kill him 1st . I can't imagine being with someone 24 7 - our conversations about retiring to Spain tend to focus on what we can do to get away from other :rotfl:(mine involve a daschund/jack russell/chihuaha cross, or something like this: with big ears)

chevalier

fayjmck wrote: »

I have given up wine (last Oct) to afford a cleaner - so both my health improves and the state of the house isn't its normal chaos (well at least on fridays)what a novel way to find money for something :T

Ebay help - yeah multiple listings not good at that - is it better to offer things as 'I have 6 lots of these to sell' or is it better to list them all individually you should download turbolister from the ebay site. You can do you listings in that at any time and the save them till the time you want to upload them. You can also copy a listing, so that if you have 6 lots of the same thing it is easy to do (though I gather that is it safer to adjust the title a bit each time, once you have copied the listing, otherwise ebay get a bit funny). You can also load extra photos from a web hosting site like www.photobucket.com for free. So listing look better, but don't cost the earth.


Another silly question can I just do the 'buy it now' or is it better to hope people bid more than the starting price. As plants only last for a certain time, I would go for buy it now.

hope that this helps
chev

chevalier

fayjmck wrote: »

Bit sad am home ( and happy) odd experience - OH and I tick along amazingly - sometimes I wonder what on earth I am doing 300 miles away from him. (I remember - short people - call me mummy - thats the reason - doh!!) And maybe the reason you do tick along nicely is because you are far apart.

Excuse the moan - ever desperately wanted to be in two places at once? Here is great for us, kids, dogs, gardens, working (sort of), lifestyle, lack of crime - no fast food joints and of course beaches. Sounds idyllic, but you can maybe get this other places?

He can't work here (earns 4x more than me) not that its about the money - its about him being challenged and 'the future' - whilst I would happily live in a wooden mud hut - he's a bit more practical than me. So what does he do? I take it is not something he can do remotely via computer. But bare in mind that if things are going down at his work, then you maybe in a position to rethink this. And I think you are very practical!

He lives in a town (I tried it for nearly 3 years and it almost killed me) in a flat, with a shared tiny garden (all lovely but I was actually trying to garden everyone elses patches too to try and survive) and he lives upstairs so his house wasn't even connected to the earth outside - 17 stairs up to the front door - I know this cos I bought 17 big pots and put one on each step and filled them with veg and flowers. So you can't cope with a town, but why not a village near a town. If you found the right house with garden. Then you would still have the country feel, and he could still do his job. It depends really on how remote you need it to be to not be miserable.

I know lots of lovely people live like this and manage - it just made me super miserable. I am of course completely aware that I am a spoiled brat and very selfish. No you are not either of these. You are only here once, and if something is making you miserable, then you shouldn't be doing it. But it sounds as though OH housing is pretty dire too. Maybe he would like somewhere bigger with you?

Just sometimes I wish he'd be as impetuous as I am and say OK - I am moving up. I have at least 5 years to go here - the thought of doing that on my own is a bit scary and a bit lonelySo that is a long time to be on your own. Would be very tough. On the other hand that lets your two children, do most of their schooling in one place, with their friends. And that is important too. So maybe he is the one who should move.

please don't say awww - I am just feeling sorry for myself) how can you marry someone and then say Ok sorry got to go home now and each go to your own house - OR is that the ideal marriage?????? Er people have been doing similar (and raising families) in the services like this for 100s of years. So you could make it work if you needed it to.
QUOTE]

Living this way will make the time you have together precious. But more than that I can't help with.
chev

PS Well it has taken me 2 WEEKS but I have finally caught up with your thread fay! It has been inspring, and I yearn for my own place to start growing stuff again.

Pippilongstocking

Hey Chev ta - I appreciate it very much

Just a bit flat about it all - guess its combined with 'oh the party is over now' and all friends going seperate ways.

OH company just had anohter major hit with a contract being dropped - none of them really know what is going ot happen next. So broaching the 'can I sometimes live up north bit' isnt really appropriate. He's also quite senior so he's responsible for inputing on lots of other folks work too. If things do change I can see him trying to find another job rather than try and be here - which would be a blow and frustrating but I see the sensible bits around it all.

And to be honest I would find it even more difficult than I am at the moment working on my PhD having someone else around all the time I think.

He does mountains, trees and lots of outdoor things - so being on an island for him would in his words 'feel like being a caged animal'. We are starting to look at where we can be longer term that suits us all - after school. Having been a forces child and moved significantly during schooling - its not ideal (adventurous and amazing but not ideal) so the plan is definately to stay here for school thus far.

OH did indeed drive me slightly insane when we lived together - but generally at the end of everyday I was excited that he came home and loved seeing him. All about balance I guess. His main argument for staying south is htat he will be debt free next year if he keeps up his current job and his overpayment of his loans and cc's. His mortgage is tiny - so when the flats ready to sell he should hopefully make enough for a decent put down on a new place for us together.

I understand all the bigger stuff but do get a bit frustrated - when I moved up initially it was always 'I will be with you all by a year' - its 3 years later and now we are talking tentatively about 'after school' (another 5 years away).

Two red headed stubborn people in one relationship I fear is possibly one of the reasons!!

We are starting to put together an 'OK what does this house of ours need list' we figure if we each say what we 'need' then we can then think OK - here's the area that suits those things..........hopefully. So far all we have is - near to beach, mountians and hills and forests, no more than 1hr to an airport (kids travelling) - space to grow things and be outside and hopefully its own 'aurucaria' (monkey puzzle tree).

Talk about mission impossible!!

Tis what happens when a city type townie person and an island bumpkin get together........

Ta for your kind sensible words - much appreciated.


Gally girl - awwww to the doggie - yeah I know what you mean about killing someone - OH reckons he comes up twice a month - but more normal really is we see each other once a month-six weeks. Unless like this time I have had a work thing down there - and then something else on, so I would then try and stay with or near him.

Stamping your stripey foot at a massive 6 ft + bloke I find doesnt really work

chevalier

Well at least it seems that things are open to debate. So at least it isn't he won't move, just not to the island.

The school thing is a problem isn't it. I don't know there ages but I would assume that they are at the age, where they would hate moving schools.....

tough isn't it this being a grown up...
chev

lucielle

Helloooooooo, anybody out there?
L

medman

Mornin' L,
Thanks for the Skye tips think we will head up to the NW. Cheers to all for the ideas, we have an outline plan but it's always good to get the perspectives from the natives.

Fay know what you mean about educating kids while in HM Forces. My eldest (born in Aldershot) graduates next month, and my son (Colchester) starts Liverpool Uni in Sep. We didn't use boarding schools so it was a bit erratic, but quite an experience for them doing most of their growing up in Germany. But it does leave you coveting stability.

MM

OliveOyl_2

fayjmck wrote: »

PS Olive how do you do it?

Don't ask me this week

I'm completely torn between being here and being there.

For here:

1. My Aged P's - I don't trust my siblings to do it
2. My short people - they're away at uni, but I could be there for them in a couple of hours, if I was in Africa it would take a couple of days
3. My job - he took nearly a year to find me - how will my boss cope without me and I like it.

For there:

1. Popeye
2. I could write - but otherwise I'd be bored.

So I'm stuck and I miss Popeye HUGELY

Pippilongstocking

Morning all

Hi L

MM - yeah I am an ex forces child myself - 9 schools (2 high schools) I didn't board just had to adapt- explains the way I just up and change things when they don't work!! Whilst I found it OK - my siblings struggled alot so I am very concious of too much change so late on.

My DS is a pretty sensitive soul which is why we ended up back up north - which is brilliant.

Myself on the other hand - no roots - MM like you say probably why I crave family home with stability etc

My need to wander I hope will be satisfied with Darwin!!

Morning all!

Pippilongstocking

OliveOyl wrote: »

Don't ask me this week

I'm completely torn between being here and being there.



For here:

1. My Aged P's - I don't trust my siblings to do it
2. My short people - they're away at uni, but I could be there for them in a couple of hours, if I was in Africa it would take a couple of days
3. My job - he took nearly a year to find me - how will my boss cope without me and I like it.

For there:

1. Popeye
2. I could write - but otherwise I'd be bored.

So I'm stuck and I miss Popeye HUGELY

Tis exactly how I feel

(Except to be honest compared with your distance I have nowt to moan about - the cost to travel is excruitiating - so monthly is really only all we can manage)

For here

1 short people
2 schooling (excellent and all extraciricular things are free)
3 lifestyle (we can afford to live amazingly for a very small income)
4 PhD - small fish small pond here - south I would have struggled with the competition
5 Space - we have it coming out of our ears and its safe

For there

1 OH
2 chums
3 extended surrogate family (chums)
4 Trees and flowers (?!)

(I'd love to say family but I doubt my mother knows what I even look like and most of my sibiliings and I could walk past each other in the street and not recognise each other - I'd love to say were are close but it would be a huge fib!!!)

Thanks Olive - I know I am in the right place but sometimes I just wish life were a bit easier!!

Thus ends the moan

PS Chev - yeah being a growd up sucks!!