daughters social life

teaspoon1

To the OP - have you considered that she may not be telling you something? I was a bit like your daughter at her age... the reason was that I was being bullied at school and didn't have many friends. So I spent a LOT of time at home in my teens and it was fine but not by choice... I literally could not wait to go to university and make a new start. It was like coming out of a cocoon and I became a whole different person. School can be very cruel imho.

I actually would like to have been out more and had a 'normal' teenage social life. Rachel85 could have a point too, if she is not in the 'in crowd' in school, it is very hard to suggest doing things and hard to get into a group of friends.

Just a thought. I sincerely hope that this isn't the case but it might be...

Smashing

I'd be careful you don't give her a complex - not everyone wants to be out hanging around doing not very much with other people. I was much the same, a homebody who was quite happy in my own company. There is enough pressure on kids nowadays without feeling like your parents are wanting you to do stuff that they might not necessarily enjoy. You might have been out all day but she's not you and just because you would feel like you weren't having a life doesm't mean she does.

It might be a phase, it might not - she doesn't need her social life being arranged for her. As long as she's happy what does it matter?

Jasper27_2

I was like your daughter at that age and I wouldn't have appreciated my parents trying to shove me out of the door! 14 is a bit of an inbetween age, she's not a child but too young for more adult pastimes. I don't think you'd be very happy if she was rolling in at 2am blind drunk! Certainly find out if she has any interests you can encourage but if she is happy I'd leave her to it.

lolababy

Leave her to do her own thing. Parents worry too much if their child does not want to do things. Unless she shows signs of depression or upset why push it.

blackcoffee

Id be relieved this is what she is doing for now. outside our chinese on the square most nights of the week, are the local chav's with a fresh £10 note in their pocket off Dad/Mum who are in the pub. If she is happy then make the most of knowing where she is !

rabbit8587

IMO it is more a sign of the times. i'm 21 and whilst i did go out with friends when we had an event to go to or somebody organised a sleepover, the rest of our communication was done by msn and text. Nowadays teenagers don't have to make arrangements to meet up and organise get-togethers, you can talk constantly from the comfort of your home every night and therefore don't have much left to say to each other. It is much harder to go out and have "adventures" nowadays in the society we live in. TBH most of the kids that seem to socialise outdoors are those causing trouble, smoking and drinking in the park.

As long as she is talking to friends and not turning down all social invitations then she will be fine. Everything seems to cost money nowadays and that can also be a factor in stopping people going out. As she gets older she will probably go out to nightclubs etc to meet boys but worry about that when the time comes!

MrsTinks

At that age I was quite disinterested in boys and hanging out - I was always a bit of a loner, not helped by being moved a lot through my stepdads job with the forces etc... But eventually I developed hormones too and i am sure my parents longed for the days when I was happy at home reading book after book instead of going out... Yes I did get bullied at school but that wasn't why I didn't want to have a social life per se. I just enjoyed my hobbies (in my case horses) and reading more than pointless drivel of my peers - I'd spent too long speaking and socialising with adults to find anything interesting to talk to other 14 year olds about... Honest? They bored the living day lights out of me
The thing that eventually kickstarted my social life was venture scouts... it was the only thing in our village for teenagers to do and one day I just decided to walk the 3 miles there and walk in and see if I was allowed to join... few years later and I was dating one of the cub scout leaders and quite a few years later I ended up engaged to my venture scout leader (we'd both left by then btw LOL) - I'd say I got over my anti social stage eventually

shariatlanta

My daughter was exactly the same at that age, spent every night sitting indoors with me but was quite happy. She was asked out by friends but chose not to go, however at the age of 17 she changed and started to go out a bit more and now at the age of 22 theres not a weekend goes by when she's not out clubbing.

I'm sure your daughter will get a social life when she's ready, just be thankful that at the moment you know exactly where she is, ther are times when I wish I could turn the clock back a few years.

angela110660

Fully agree with all the comments here as a mum of 2 boys and 1 girl. The boys were full of energy and off out playing footie at every opportunity. My daughter loves sports too (at school) but is not involved at weekends as the boys were so then you wonder what should she do? But it is up to her really. My daughter has lots of friends but as other people have said - she is happy to phone or text them - sometimes one or two might come over or she goes to theirs but she is not that bothered and I don't think many of them are either!! Perhaps they have had enough of each other at school all week!?

Jo_R_2

I was very much like the OP's DD when I was young. I didn't have an interest in really going out as such. I had a handful of close friends and we would arrange to do stuff like go out for tea, go swimming, go round and see each other at our houses, and the odd sleepover, but not that often. I was happy spending my evenings doing my homework, watching EastEnders and trundling along doing the shopping with my dad at the weekend, that was fine for me!

But it all changed when I went to college then uni, I met people I had a lot more common with than simply going to the same school because we lived in the same area, and from then on my confidence grew and... :beer: I was quite a shy person anyway and if my parents had been trying to persuade me to go out and do stuff I think it would have given me more of a complex than I already had LOL!