advice on how to tackle ex

black-saturn

mspig wrote:

i would rather cut all ties including money. I have never taken a penny from him.

How did you do this? When I split with my children's father I didnt want anything to do with him including any of his money. I told the CSA this and they said he had to pay up by law.

I left him because it was a violent relationship. He's not interested in seeing the children and neither are his parents (however I have nothing against them, they were always very good to me). Yet he keeps threateneing me because he thinks I take CSA money. If he was allowed to stop paying that I'm sure I would never heard from him again.

mspig

to Black saturn.

I left my partner because of the same reason violence.

When i explained to the csa that them getting involved could cause problems for me they agreed to not interfer and to not contact him for money.

Hes now 9 and they have never interfered even though i have been on and off benefits in this time.

Evie_P

i think it depends on whether you were married or whether he has any parental responsibility. I offered it as a gesture ( parental responsibility) to my ex but he just abuses the situation and i wished I had never done that.

It is difficult as often the grandparents don't condone his behaviour. I understand your worries!

i hope this resolves for you.

All the best

devoncat

Grandparents are very important in a child's life. Being around older people help younger people understand so many things. Please do not punish them for their son's mistake. If you are worried about them taking him to prison, maybe you could meet them for bowling, dinner, etc with your child so there is no opportunity. Maybe you could tell them it is unacceptible and if they want time with your son then they have to abide by your rules. Good luck.

black-saturn

Evie_P wrote:

i think it depends on whether you were married or whether he has any parental responsibility. I offered it as a gesture ( parental responsibility) to my ex but he just abuses the situation and i wished I had never done that.

It is difficult as often the grandparents don't condone his behaviour. I understand your worries!

i hope this resolves for you.

All the best

My children's biological father has not seen them for 4 years and has no parental responsibility and we werent married. He already pays CSA though as he has a very high paid job. Can I withdraw that?

furby-2003

i have had no contact now for 8 weeks, longest ever!!...im loving this. he goes on holiday for 2 weeks soon