Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD)

hethmar

fi, if you read all the thread, you can see thats what the OP has been trying to do and not getting a lot of help (as par for the course)

TurnaroundSue

Just a quick update, my ds has now changed schools to finish off his GCSEs and has settled remarkably. We are waiting for an appointment to see the ed psych and a referral through the school (GP had letter back from appropriate unit saying he did not fit the criteria for a referral!!!) but do not know if this will happen before he leaves and if not, so I assume it will then be too late? Having said that, his behaviour has improved dramatically since changing schools and he is happy going to school now. He only has 5 actual weeks in school before his exams start and then he will only go in for these, so hopefully if we can get to this stage with things they way they are going, it might not be too bad!

Many thanks once again for all the help and advice given to me on this thread - I am very grateful.

hethmar

Very best wishes sue.

tillycat123

Just stumbled upon this thread. I'm sat here in tears. I'm going through the same with my 14 year old, parents evening last night and every teacher saying the same about his behaviour. He totally irritates them and is now starting to disrupt others around him. His grades are falling to the ground, he's not doing home work or classwork, argues with the teachers is totally controlling to get his way and knows how to work the teachers to do what he wants not what he should be doing. I rarely have an issue getting him there or with his organisation.

His dis-respectfulness at home is horrific as is the language he uses to wards me, if I try to issue a consequence the shouting at me can go on for hours relentlessly.

I did take him to the doctors 2 years ago because I know something is not right, he told me to ask school if he could be referred to the schools physiologist. School had the welfare lady come out to me, who was a waste of time. Schools not right for most boys these days was her answer, it can't hold their attention. Which was no help and away she went with nothing heard again.

So it was left and I hoped that it would go away. He is obsessed with his hobby scooting which takes over his life and his spare time. Before that he was obsessed with roller hockey. He has to be totally absorbed by something he wants all the time. He wants to be out as well, staying at home chilling is like a punishment to him. He just wants to be busy all the time. Without fail, he's the first to arrive at the skate-park and the last to leave. It's semi supervised where he goes and he is as good as gold there, so if it's what he wants to do he seems fine.

I've tried so hard playing the strict parent, he just does not get it. He rules me and it's unbearable. Life at home is just one long battle. Just asking would you like a drink can spark a row with him. He could start a fight in an empty room as the saying goes.

I really feel if I could hand him over to someone else now I would, I don't feel I can go on with him any longer. I totally feel that I have failed as a parent with him.

He's gone off to school promising me that he is really going to try today but controlled it again by saying he does not want to hear any more talk about it. He has to have the last word on everything.

From all the reading I have done the ODD behaviour displays could have been written about him.

Sorry for the long rant, nobody else at home and I'm feeling so sad.

daska

Did you put the GP's recommendation in writing to the school? If not, why don't you go back to the GP, explain that nothing came from it, that you are at your wit's end and ask them to write to the school for you. That way, if the Head gives it the brush off you can push it further up the chain.

(((HUGS)))

jellyhead

PolishBigSpender wrote: »

You might be able to find out if there is a 'trigger' for his behaviour - it's quite possible that although he's badly behaved, there is a common link in all of this. It might just be as simple as boredom

We found the trigger for eldest was dehydration. He hasn't got ODD though, but had dyspraxia and is being assessed for aspergers. He was assessed for ADHD when he was 5 but he hasn't got it.

He had some bad days in year 8 and was put into isolation. He has tantrums and doesn't think straight when he hasn't had a drink all day. Occasionally he comes home in a vile mood still, and he is in year 11 like your son, and if he is irrational, moody, would argue that black was white etc. and is snappy like I am once a month then I just know that when I look in his school bag I will find his drink unopened.

He is shaky and slow with his hands, and the other kids finish their entire lunch before my son has even eaten his sandwich. He was just eating the sandwich because he wanted to keep up with the boys he was playing in the woods with. We managed to agree with the class teacher that she would check his drink after lunch and make him drink some if it was untouched.

razzie

Hi OP,
I can really identify with this thread as we have had very similar issues with our son as well. dont listen to those that say it is down to parenting as I have known people with other children who do not display these problems but one of their children does and yet they have all been brought up in the same way....
My child was first referred at age 6 through his school to be assessed but the assessment team concluded that he was just awkward and very headstrong and needed stricter boundaries etc. We were already doing this but tried other approaches etc but to no avail. I too looked at ODD and thought that it sounded very much like my son. we eventually went to our GP and he agreed to refer again for assessment. After a lengthy process he was finally diagnosed at the age of 10 as being on the Autistic spectrum, high functioning. Autistic spectrum conditions can cause difficult behaviours as the child is not neccessarily understanding what is being asked of them and this can cause them to meltdown and appear as if they are at times oppositional to everything... i am not of couse saying that your child is on the spectrum but it is worth persisting with asking for a referral where all of his behaviours can be observed. i was reluctant initially to "label" my child but since he has been diagnosed we and him are now being offered the support that we all need. without a label there is really little help in meeting your childs needs.

jellyhead

ooops, I didn't realise the thread was 2 years old!