Financial faux pas and other disasterous decisions

Intergalactic_Floozie

Oh I'm really sad to see no post from you, I was hoping for a happy post and now I'm worried because there's nothing at all. Hope you're okay xx

Tesco_points_addict

Moo I just had to post

I stayed in a relationship for 9 years thinking the drinking would change, and never did. I then reached a BIG birthday and thought if I don't do it now I never will. This was such a difficult decison, we lived in a lovely big house and had no money worries. I moved into a tiny two down two up. It is by far the best thing I have ever done in my life. The first time I shut that front door I knew I had done the right thing. I loved that silly house, it was my indipendance (sp?) my two fingers up to the world. My best friend at the time told me not to do it (she is very materialist) at told me I would be known as the 'old cat lady'!!!:eek:

The children will be far happier with two happy parents than two parents whp are unhappy together. Could you speak to hubby (I know this is not easy...been there got the t-shirt) could you and the children not stay put for a bit? It would be much easier for him to find somewhere else to live for the time being.

God, I feel for you I really do. Perhaps hubbys behaviour is an indication that he too is unhappy??

When I left my other half I never thought I would meet anyone else, didn;t think I was worthy of anyone nice. But eventually you get your self esteme back and someone comes along and meakes you realise what you really want from life. I would not change the crappy times I had with my ex. it's made me the person I am today, but I do know, mentally I could not have survived much longer being with him.

I am sorry for the epic post, but reading your thread I feel like I know you. You and your children are the most important things, please please look after yourselves and be brave and take that huge step.

Love n hugs

TPAx

mooomin

I have nothing to add of any value, but I hope that whatever happens things work out. You're an awesome lady and I love reading your posts every day.

All I can offer is a great big virtual HUG and the offer of a couch in Edinburgh anytime you need it.

Xx

beanielou

What a lovely post TPA.
Thank you for sharing.

moo2moo

Morning all. Back to being a positive Moo. Thanks for all the posts, they're much appreciated.

Had a mini epi yesterday when I discovered the forum was down and I had an hour and a half to kill between arising from my pit and begining the day. Did fleetingly think that perhaps I do spend a wee bit too much time on MSE. Only fleetingly mind you. Buried my nose in the latest Dan Brown and made myself really really late for work. Did the same thing in the afternoon much to my bosses amusement. Running in the door yelling I know, I know I'm late and its all your fault. Never ever loan me a really good book in the middle of the week again. Hes promised only to hand over books on Fridays in future.

Got home to find OH ironing. Hes back to being his normal chirpy self. Looks like it was another alcohol induced monstrosity, much like a chapter from Jekyl and Hyde. Back to wondering if I'm making things out to be worse than they actually are. Have stopped buying alcohol or drinking with him to keep him company as this seems to be an indication that drinking each and every day is acceptable. Its not. I can't stop him buying the stuff but I can refuse to consume anything myself. Whether I can convince him that his current intake is unacceptable and even half that amount would be excessive remains to be seen.

moo2moo

The view from the window is nothing short of spectacular. Following yesterdays mini blizzards and hail storms (plural) the world is white and glistening, there are huge icicles on the trees and everythings bathed blue in the twilight as it moves into dawn. V. v. pretty, almost magical.

Unfortunately the road is like an ice skating rink *again* and the DDs have a riding lesson later this morning. Still whilst I'm out I can fill my squeaky clean newly defrosted freezer with bread and wot not. Note its only defrosted because DD2 forgot to close the door and by the time we'd realised it wasn't shut it couldn't be shut thanks to a half ton of ice. Fortunately nothing in it had defrosted, now theres a perk of keeping the thing at -22 degrees in a room thats marginally above freezing.

Whilst I was having fun cleaning I vacummed each and every carpet, changed the bedding in the master bedroom, decluttered a Chocolate Orange (almost out of Toblerone) and an entire 500 page Dan Brown novel (perks of insomnia mean your day is indeed 20 hours long) and briefly considered doing something with the bathroom. Perhaps detonating a nuclear device would help.

Haven't left the house to go anywhere other than work (and an emergency mid-week dash to Halfords) but still seem to have spent shed loads. Perhaps I'm never destined to be a frugalista.

moo2moo

Days to payday: 16 half way there!
Money in purse : £0.49
Money in emergency jam jar: £3
Money in bank: £45.64
Money spent in January: £1856.39
Money remaining of this months portion of the live on £20K challenge : -£189.39
Part used smellies used up and disposed of: 7

Sold another item on flea-bay as a second chance offer netting a further £2 feel the cash come dripping in

moo2moo

Shop & Scan gadget has arrived and is now charging. Will be trying it out later, if their hype is to be believed I should be able to claim my first payout on Monday. Looks rather time consuming though. Wondering if I can wander round the supermarket doing it as I lob things in the trolley. Bet theres a confidentiality clause that prevents me doing that though.

Eager_Elephant

Hi Moo

Glad you are more positive today, hope things improve.

I think someone else mentioned that when your OH is on a bender he is horrible but the next day when things are back to normal you feel better and therefore the issues are not dealt with.

I don't think it is healthy for you to continue like this.

I have no real experience of someone close to me drinking but my late M-I-L was an alcoholic, my B-I-L is an alcoholic and I worry when my husband drinks, luckily it is not very often but if there is beer in the house he drinks about 4 cans a night, luckily he does not get drunk with it and has never been abusive to me. The only reason I worry is in case he becomes an alcoholic like the rest of his family.

I think you may have said before that you have tried to speak to OH but he dismisses you - or am I thinking of someone else?

Obviously we don't know what OH says to you but is what he says what he really thinks or is it drunk talk. I wonder if he feels he cannot talk to you about problems so when he gets drunk it all comes out and the next day he can ignore the fact!!

I know you are approachable and lovelybut he may feel you are not.

I had Relate counselling with my DH and a few sessions in he admitted he was scared of me!! This shocked the hell out of me but basically he meant that he felt I was not approachable as I used to fly off the handle about anything I didn't agree with.
I have got much better since and if we had not been to Reate he would never have told me.

Sorry for the length of post but I really feel for you, you are such a lovely lady!!

EE

moo2moo

It appears I'm suffering from a classic case of bury-your-head-in-the-sand-itis. Its so much easier to do nothing than to do something and not knowing what that something should be makes it even harder.

Can't help thinking I owe it to him (and to us) to at least try to find a happy medium, whatever that may be. He is at least trying to cut down his smoking and his drinking since his most recent outburst. Guess its just a case of wait and see and in the meantime try and work out how I feel and where I want to be in the next year and the year after that and ten years from now.