Financial faux pas and other disasterous decisions

Double_Trouble

From one of your loyal lurkers don't know what to say to help but you know there are a lot of people on here rooting for you. Are you sure you would have to move out think you need to get some legal advice - so you know all your options

DTxx

Intergalactic_Floozie

Have you had a look at the Inland Revenue to see what you can get Tax Credits wise? When DH was made redundant and there was only my income (£18k) I was entitled to nearly £400 per month. Plus you could consider if your not-so DH would give you any maintainance.

You're used to living in a 'work in progress' type of house, and you're so handy yourself that surely you could cope (I can't even change the kitchen spotlights!)

You're totally used to budgeting so I can't see you having a problem on that side of things. You could consider things such as are any of the debts in his name alone (so you wouldn't have to count them), car insurance for his car, payments for anything like contact lenses, magazine subscriptions etc....From what I have seen, all your spends are project landrover, house, animals and children. At least if you rented you wouldn't be spending anything on repairs etc...

Have you done an SOA just for yourself (assuming the worst that DH gives you nothing?).

And perhaps it will shock your DH into changing his attitude if he does think you're going to get up and go?

Hugs to you xxxx

alibob30

I know that being financially secure is really important but i'm not sure that buying a house at the same time as maybe leaving a relationship and moving your daughters is the best thing, house buying being so stressfull and all.

You could think about moving in to rented accomodation for a year or two, you're a wizard at budgeting and living frugally so could save up lots of money and then buy yourself a home.

Hope that you feel better after sleeping.

Keep strong

Lula-Hula

Hi Moo,

I know that you do have these doubts about your marriage every so often & usually when your OH goes on a bender so rather than thinking about long term action, how about delivering a warning shot across his bows. Is there anywhere that you could stay for just a week or so - that's usually enough time for men to realise how miserable life can be on their own.

I'm also wondering why when he's been complete @rse you are willing to spend your free time helping him fix his landrover :huh:. Frankly, you should be letting him get on with it & taking yourself off to have coffee / wine choc with friends.

Being a doormat does not become you

honeybear_2

Moo, you know I generally only post on here when you've said something that really makes me laugh, so it seems unafir to stay quiet when you're having a tough time.

I think all the other posts have valid points. I just really hope you have tried to talk to your OH about things too. It's a very big thing to deal with, even if you do decide at the end of things to walk away.

I know that's probably something you have done so I hope you don't think I'm teaching you to suck eggs etc

Good luck

bearhugs
HB

lucielle

Moo, nothing more I can add. Sending hugs.
L

Trying_to_be_good

Moo

I've had to make the decision to walk away from a marriage that wasn't working, after four years but thankfully no children. It's a MASSIVE decision. Absolutely huge.

There are lots of people to talk to, to sort out what your differences are, the much deeper stuff than the niggles which have suddenly become enormous irritations, but dealing with them, too.

I'm a step-mum now, and I love my step-kids (and OH) to bits but really wish their mum and dad had managed to sort out things between them and I didn't know them at all (even though their mum's idea of what's important is very different to mine).

Please talk to someone - on your own, and with your OH, before you make a decision it's over.

I'm normally crying with laughter at your diary, today I have tears rolling down my face for a different reason.

Take care xx

makeup

Oh Moo, I have no advice to give as never been in your situation or anything close to it.

However from reading your diary I know how resourceful and determined you can be and how much you can achieve so have faith in whatever you decide to do.

Big hugs! xx

beanielou

Hope that you are ok-ish today.
Take care x

alibob30

Thinking of you, hope that you're busy demolishing an enormous toblerone!