Estranged husband handing keys to house back to bank

peachyprice

Clairobelle wrote: »

.I'm going to the council this afternoon to sort out what i am entitled to lha and i will be asking them what my options are. i understand council housing is not an option until i am made homeless.

Hi Claire,
You can fill the council forms in and have your application registered. On the forms you can put that you are likely to be homeless shortly and state the reason why. This will at least put you in their system, albeit very low down the list. Then when the time comes they have a unit that deals with imminent homelessness, it will be a little easier if they already have all your info

HTH

whathavewedone

The CSA aren't necessarily that interested in helping. My sister was dumped by her dd's father when she was 5 months pregnant. Up until her dd was 6 months old he made a derisory payment through the CSA and then wrote a letter saying that he could no longer afford to pay.

Fast forward 11.5 years. The father hasn't seen his daughter since she was a baby (his choice, my niece asked my sister to try and see if he would see her recently and he didn't return any calls) and hasn't paid a penny since she was 6 months old.

Is this man unemployed/scraping by in a minimum wage job? No he's a director of a successful company. The CSA haven't done jack and my sister's just about given up on it now. She has had to work since her dd was 2 months old with no help from the father whatsoever.

I hear a lot about how the CSA are responsible for causing many a man financial ruin but there is another side to the coin.

I dislike the tone of some of these posts which infer that this awful situation is of the OP's own making /she is making a fuss about nothing.

There but for the grace of god.

Dithering Dad I thought your post was excellent.

Incidentally OP, if you are looking for some support I suggest you post on netmums - you might not get financial/legal advice but you will get a lot of support from other mums many of whom will have been in similar situations. It might help you through this difficult time. And no, I don't work for netmums!

Savvy_Sue

blue_monkey wrote: »

OP, can you get your ex to pay you instead of the mortgage so you can start saving so you have somewhere to rent for the girls. I am guess he is paying the mortgage direct so this is why he cannot pay you additional child support - well if he is NOT paying the mortgage he can pay that money to you surely as the girls need supporting.

Oh and OP, speak to your local homeless department, they can give you temporary housing for 28 days (usually a hostel) if he does hand the keys back and you have to get out but after that, but because you lost the house as the mortgage was not paid, they have no obligation to help. But you never know, some of them might because of how times are right now, you do not know if you do not ask the question.

blue_monkey wrote: »

Find out what your husband is doing with that money if he has decided not to pay, do not just hand back the keys, especially if you have no-where to go, eek it out until the very end so that you can prepare yourselves, if you can save that money and find somewhere to rent before the bailiff is due then you'll be sorted and more prepared.

Oh and OP, speak to your local homeless department, they can give you temporary housing for 28 days (usually a hostel) if he does hand the keys back and you have to get out but after that, but because you lost the house as the mortgage was not paid, they have no obligation to help. But you never know, some of them might because of how times are right now, you do not know if you do not ask the question.

I'm putting these two quotes next to each other, because from a skim read of other posts it seems that some people are suggesting that the OP should stop paying the mortgage in order to save towards a deposit and the first months rent. Could I stress that this advice should be treated with caution: that may work if you are able to rent privately, but could cause serious problems if you are relying on going to the local authority and declaring yourself homeless. IF there's plenty of private rented property in your area at rents you could consider it MAY be something to consider, but if there's not, then the local council may well say you made yourselves intentionally homeless (even if it had always been your husband paying the mortgage), and they then have fewer obligations towards you.

Forgive me if that point's already been made clearly, along with the other good points.

blue_monkey wrote: »

Check out what your rights are to Housing Benefit if you are renting too. Go in armed with all the info you need and look to this as a new start. It could take 6 months for the bank to get you out so it is possible to get enough money behind you for a deposit and for the rent. If you have no savings (as it sounds like you will not) then you will get housing benefit. Use the money you have been able to save to pay 2-3 months rent while HB is being sorted out - then you'll be in credit, it also means that if you stay with the same letting agent they can use this 'credit' to pay your future rents and should not have to worry about credit checks. This is what happened to my friend who was in the exact same situation as you but had debt up to her eyeballs and so this was why she lost the house but she was able to rent as she had the lump sum to put down.

Remember that you can claim HB whether you're renting privately or through the council or a Housing Association, BUT there's a limit to the amount of rent that's considered reasonable for a family of your size in your area, and there may be a shortfall between that and the actual rent. for example, you may want a 3 bedroomed house, but because there's you and 2 DDs, they would say you only 'needed' a 2 bedroomed house because the girls could share. Generally 2 bedroomed houses have lower rents than 3 bedroomed houses, so you'd have to pick up the shortfall.

blue_monkey wrote: »

Also go to as many Housing Associsions as you can as they will put you on their list (I found this out too late) - they will not look at you as homeless but you can go on the list for housing - but look into every single HA that serves your area (I found around 10 in this area in the end) and apply to them all. You can put in as many applications as you can but can only be housed by one so once you have housing you'll have to come off the list of the others.

There may be a 'shared' list between the local council and many of the local Housing Associations, but as blue_monkey says, it is worth checking, and checking again.

confused31_2

@Neas, you are one bitter person is this because you are hoping to get a house on the cheap and its just not happening.

When you have saved up with your missus to buy a flat and you have a decent size mortgage between the two of you, your missus will all of a sudden realise how much of a prxck you are and do one in that new car you have been saving up to buy her, leaving you with a big mortgage to pay on your own, for a small flat.

Some people just dont live in the real world, no job is safe and if you think yours is, do it at your own peral.

I just hope your life continues to be rosey, but somehow i think people like yourself, will always get what they deserve, just hope you dont come on here asking for help when your in a right mess.

Im sure when you do come on here, it will be everyones fault but your own.

Confused

Clairobelle

:eek:

neas. the very moment they drop, you let me know. maybe then you will have experienced life a little and be in a position to criticise me for the choices that i have made.

Funnily enough i was your age when i fell in love with my husband. We had a whirlwind romance, i relocated to a town 100 miles away from my home to be with him, supporting him when he had found a job in his dream career, a job which he had always wanted. I left my successful career as a PA in London to make a home with him. At that time i was earning much more than him. We married within months and whilst on our honeymoon i discovered i was pregnant with our first child. We were ecstatic. Our daughter arrived in what was a wonderful birth, we felt we were complete. But then i had severe pnd. How i survived i dont know. One day i had the crisis team visiting, as they were making assessments as to whether i should be admitted. Between the crisis team, my gp and health visitor the decision was made that i should stay at home as it meant i would have had to be admitted to a general mental hospital and would have had to be separated from my baby. i think that would have finished me off. So i stayed home and it got worse. When the crisis team had left i asked, no begged, my husband to change jobs just until i was better as i was in a strange town where i had no family, no friends and he was working away nearly all week every week. He wouldnt do that for me and our daughter. His career came first. I was left to deal with it.

That was just the first year of marriage, do you want me to go on with my sorry tale? Yes i have made decision that i regret. Not everyone has the benefit of foresight and being a pompous **** like you do. Dont take your frustrations out on me. There are plenty of people who are unfortunately in the same position as you. They however seem to have empathy and a sense of common decency whereby they dont jump at the opportunity to kick someone when they are down.

neas

Funny how as we age, those younger even by 5-6 years are always brats... it just means you getting older... and are practically elderly.. ah well.

Im not talking aboutt hindsight, you've only sugar coated the details buti let slip you remortgaged.. i just dont get how people think borrowing money solves anything maybe just my upbringing.

@confused, I can put down a 30% deposit now... on a 3 bedroom house... no flats for me but thanks for the suggestion ;P.
@confused2, i never said my job was safe, in fact if you'd read my posts you';d see i'm preparing for that eventuality.. by saving like mad... i guess you really are confused heh.

Gangstabird

Just going to butt right in about the CSA. In my experience they do not step in unless you are claiming benefits. One of my friends is a paramedic. She has been for years. CSA didn't want to know, until she had to leave the job. CSA have now sent threatening letters to her former half and he has gone mad.

confused31_2

neas wrote: »

Funny how as we age, those younger even by 5-6 years are always brats... it just means you getting older... and are practically elderly.. ah well.

Im not talking aboutt hindsight, you've only sugar coated the details buti let slip you remortgaged.. i just dont get how people think borrowing money solves anything maybe just my upbringing.

@confused, I can put down a 30% deposit now... on a 3 bedroom house... no flats for me but thanks for the suggestion ;P.
@confused2, i never said my job was safe, in fact if you'd read my posts you';d see i'm preparing for that eventuality.. by saving like mad... i guess you really are confused heh.

So how much does a 3 bed roomed house cost where you live??, why dont you then?? instead of renting??

Mind you first time buyers are struggling to get mortgages, have you tried getting one you might be surprised what rate they offer you. infact the deals are rubbish, unless you pay a massive fee.

Them houses must must be well cheap, anyway good luck and have a nice life.

confused

mumps

neas wrote: »

26 married to a my beautiful wife, Graduated in 2002 2:1 Masters Degree in an Electronic and Electrical Engineering degree, Brought up a working class town up north where houses were and are still relatively cheap... taught never to get a credit card by parents who were fearful of credit and hardworking. Parents paid off mortgage 10 years early (only 46k mortgage but was hard for them) Saw my dad lose his job through redudancy...

Basically... the type of upbringing that instilled a natural savvyness about money...

"Dont spend what you dont got" and save for hard times.

So did they buy the house before you were born? If so £46k was a massive mortgage especially in a "working class town up north where houses were and are still relatively cheap" I got married a couple of years after you were born and bought a lovely 4 bed house in Worcestershire for £10k less than that. Perhaps they bought it later but as you link childs age to how long parents have owned house I am assuming they would have bought it at least 27 years ago?

LisaLou1982

Clairobelle wrote: »

Hi Everyone

My marriage ended at the end of 07, my husband had been having an affair. He moved out and since then has been paying mortgage. I work 20 hrs week and have wtc and ctc but this has not been enough to cover all the bills and consequent debts which have mounted up since. Ive now got to a stage where i have to take out a debt management plan in order to take control back of my finances.

However, i have told my ex that i either have to move out of the home (large detached 4 bed) as i cannot afford to live her. some weeks i have to borrow cash off my mum in order to feed my 2 dd's.

His reply has been that he will hand the keys back to the bank as he cant afford to give me any to support out girls. Which is fair enough, the house is on the market but theres no way it will sell.

My questions are:
1. Will the bank give me time to find another place to live?
2. As he has paid the mortgage and he now cannot (even though it is a joint mortgage) is there any way i can protect my name so that in future years (not yet obviously, not got a bean to my name!) i might be able to get a mortgage?

Many thank
Claire xxx

Hi Claire

I have read this post with much interest and am shocked at the attitude of some who feel the need to gloat at your current situation. Keep your chin up and ignore this as it is not useful to anyone.

As regards to your questions - some great advise already given but for what its worth from me.........

1. Since you are both named on the mortgage then you are both liable for the mortgage payments - most banks will seek repossession proceedings after 6 months of none payment although this can happen after 3 months. I am yet to see a person who has been repossessed less than a year after stopping paying their mortgage although i am sure that there are some exceptions. I would advise that you use this time from now to try and get the house sold, speak to lender and see if they will accept a lower offer than what is owed (if applicable) and cover the shortfall between you

2. If the house is repossessed then you stand almost no chance of getting another mortgage in the current market due to lending restrictions. If the payments are completely unaffordable to you then try and get your ex to pay you the money he would otherwise have been paying to the mortgage company and try and save something towards a lump sum for rent.

Other than that - speak to the lenders direct - you will be surprised at how helpful they will be towards you. Dont leave it til the last minute though - do it early so that they can see you are committed to doing all you can to improve the situation