Is he "into me" or not??

pinkshoes

Maybe if you ditch this "friend" and don't ever see him again you'd find your marriage might work again, or at least see some improvements.

You can't work at a marriage if your heart isn't 100% in it.

markelock

is now the right time to suggest a threesome?

belfastgirl23

If he is any kind of a decent man then he should be trying hard not to give you any signals since you are married and he should know that adding anything else to the mix isn't right. I agree with the others, you need to put this question firmly out of your mind if you want to make your marriage succeed.

The obvious implication of the question though is that you are into him....

Pssst

Someone once said to me...women are like monkeys. They never let go of one branch until they have a hold of another.

i guess it works for men to ?

ailuro2

It wouldn't matter whether the 'friend' is male or female if you only see them as a friend.

The message between the lines of your post are screaming 'should I dump ailing marriage and chase the other man? '

Maybe we are reading it wrongly, or maybe it is a subconcious message from you...

Either way, cool it with the texts and ditch the 'being so honest it hurts' stuff, and concentrate on your hubby - it might be harder work than fantasising about a fresh new relationship - but you made your promises when you married your OH, you should try to stick to them, imho.

Amanda65

I have to say that without knowing the full story I feel rather sorry for your OH in all of this. You say you are having problems in your marriage, which I assume your OH is aware of, and yet continue a friendship with another man which even OH says he can see there is something between you :eek: Talk about rubbing the poor man's face in it!

I think you need to step back and think about whether you really want to be in your relationship with OH. If the answer is yes, tell this other guy that you and OH are going to concentrate on each other for a while without outside distractions. If you don't want to stay married, then tell other guy that you need some time away from him to sort out yourself without any outside complications.

Either way, I think you need some space from him while you sort yourself out - good luck x

margaretclare

What on earth does this mean - 'into' or 'not into'?

How can a person be 'into' another person? 'Into' as in sexual intercourse, or is that too literal a meaning?

I'm not familiar with this idiom.

Are you saying that, possibly because of your unhappy marriage, you imagine that you are being 'fancied' in a sexual way by this male acquaintance? Is this wishful thinking on your part - it may well be. You are treading on thin ice here. Either you're in a marriage - which you apparently are - or you are free to look around and fancy/be fancied by others - which, apparently, you're not. You need to make your mind up where you're going and what YOU want out of life, not what someone else may think of you.

daphne_descends

margaretclare it just means does he fancy her - personally I would use 'into (me)' if I were talking more about a growing emotional relationship rather than just physically liking someone.

elaine373

I think you just want enough permission from the replies here to get involved with this other man. I dont think anyone doubts your unhappy but you shouldnt be even thinking of someone else until you are free to do so. Its called adultery and even if it doesnt involve sex,if its getting emotionally involved with someone else whilst still married then thats as bad.imo. You need to break away completely from the `other` man, and if you cant then i guess your marriage is over.I will always remember Princess Diana`s interview when talking about her marriage and she quoted that there were 3 people in hers. It doesnt stand a chance unless its just the two of you.Give your marriage the chance.The grass isnt always greener.

smartpicture

I think that emotionally intimacy of this nature is equally as damaging to a marriage as if you were sleeping together. Your husband is the one you should be talking to with honesty. As someone who once had an affair, I would say you are quite clearly in the 'pre-affair' stage where you are justifying it to yourself because 'it's only talking' and you haven't had sex. You are depriving your husband of the emotional bonds that a marriage rests on, and if you are sitting agonising over whether some other man has feelings for you or not, then whatever you may say (or genuinely believe), you are not 'working on' your marriage, you are putting your marriage at risk. In the relationship you describe, sex is the next natural stage, unless you take steps now to step back from it.