Is he "into me" or not??

brokeworkaholic

I’m female (mid 30’s, no children, married unhappily but we’re trying to make it work) & have a very soft spot for a very close single male friend who says he cares & also has a soft spot for me.

• If he doesn’t hear from me over 48 hours he will always contact me to ask if I’m ok but he doesn’t always reply to my texts then jokes about the fact that I don’t always answer his.
• We are so honest with each other up to a point where sometimes it hurts.
• When we’re together he’ll always be the 1st to make a friendly touch such as an elbow nudge or jokingly try to trip me up, or he’ll hold his palms out by his chest facing me as if he’d like me to touch them BUT when I go to hug him he’ll happily return the hug yet he won’t ever come to hug me goodbye 1st.
• The chemistry is undeniable – even my husband (bless him) says there’s obviously something present) We kissed once, he said he couldn’t fight the feelings, now he says something doesn’t have to happen every time!
• He is an extremely private person, never tells me things like an ex contacting him yet I'm too happy just to burt everything out as I hate secrets
• Despite his best friend living only 15 minutes from me & working only 3 roads away 2 days a week, he’ll never ask to see me. If I ask him I never know if I’ll get a yes or a no. When we do meet (could be 6 weeks apart) we do nothing but laugh together

Am I looking for something that isn’t there? Is this mind games on his part? Is he “into me” but playing it cautiously? Is he just not into me?? This is driving me mad. All he says is that he cares….If he cares what are the mixed signals about? Are these mixed signals?? Any advice or insight from both sexes would be welcome.
Thankyou.

Gingham_Ribbon

Who cares whether he's 'into you' or not? You're married. Work at that or don't, but don't bring someone else into it.

If he's 'into' you, or you're 'into' him, you have no right conducting a friendship with him while you're married.

mrcow

Not really sure where you are going with this?

Are you saying that you'd like to split with your husband and get together with this guy, but want to be sure of his feelings first?

alwaysonthego_2

I agree with Gingham, you need to sort out your marriage first instead of thinknig about another man. Either work at your marriage or let your husband go instead of messing him about. The grass is not always greener!!!

Alikay

I agree with the others: You're married. Stop indulging yourself with all this analysis of his feelings for you, and put a bit more emotional energy into your marriage.

fatwallets

you need to sortout your marriage one way or the other before embarking in a new relationship, its people like you who leave people with low self worth and insecurities.which in turn affects other peoples relationships, you need to be self reliant and honest not sneaky andsly!

What goes around comes around!!!!!!!!!!!!!:eek:

whitewing

I'm another one for the 'you're married; don't go there' brigade.

POSSETTE

Been there done that..best thing you can do is
a. listen to above comments and try marriage improvement
b. just ask friend outright what he would do if you left your hubby,hinting that you have packed a bag ready to go,and see what his very first reaction is.
c. give up on both and be on your own
d.bat for other side!!!

gemz20

you should think about spliiting up with your husband before contemplating another relationship of any form as he may seem what you want now but this could be because your unhappy i think if your genuinely not happy you need to sort that relationship out first and end things there

SkipE

Im another saying sort the marriage out first. Try to remember why you got married in the first place.

And in my opinion no it does not sound like he is 'in to you'. Not in the way your thinking anyway.

TeetersOnHeels

Spending time wondering about how this bloke feels towards you is not helping with the "unhappy, but working at it" side of your marriage. If you are not happy in your marriage then leave. "working at it" means exactly that, not being distracted by a third party's feelings for you (or not).