Stuck in a 1 bedroom flat - is there anything we can do?

viktory

Essexgirl81 wrote: »

It's never going to be a possibility that I could earn more than my husband as I don't have a degree. The most i've ever earned a year is £16,500. My last job was worth £14,500 a year.

Tsk. Don't be so negative. I earn more that your husband and I don't have a degree. My husband is not far off your husband's wage and he works in a manual job (long hours though).

Have you considered a college course (with a nursery attached for the little one)? Do an NVQ in admin and your eraning potential will increase.

Essexgirl81

PolishBigSpender wrote: »

Why do people in the United Kingdom persist in having children that they can barely afford to support? Getting pregnant when living in a one bedroomed flat with no prospect of moving to a bigger flat is irresponsible at best, and terrible at worst.

For some people in the UK a decision has to be made between 'having it all' or having what makes you happy. I did everything in the right order according to UK social expectation (or the Daily Mail whatever) - I worked, got married, got a mortgage then had a baby. We were well placed 'at the time' to have a 'normal' life whatever that is! I even went back to work full-time after the baby even if it was only for 5 months. At least I tried.

The issue of our living situation really has nothing to do with my daughter being here or not - she didn't cause the crash in house prices or the fall in the economy. By rights we should have been able to sell up before/when she was born in 2007 and move into a 2 bedroom property but it just didn't work out.

I posted on this website to get some advice about what to do next (if anything) and so far I have had some wonderful responses so thankyou to all those people.

And thankyou for your criticisms, it only makes me feel stronger and more determined to prove people like you wrong :T

DCFC79

PolishBigSpender wrote: »

Why do people in the United Kingdom persist in having children that they can barely afford to support? Getting pregnant when living in a one bedroomed flat with no prospect of moving to a bigger flat is irresponsible at best, and terrible at worst.

would you rather she just sponged off the govenerment, yes she got pregnant but its challenge for her and her OH to deal with whether its in they're own place or living with her parents

sjaypink

hi, havent read all this through so apologies if repeating...

why cant you rent it out? if you rented it for £500, and paid your mums rent at £400 youd be £100 pm up?

just to add, its obviously not ideal that you planned a baby in a 1 bed, but nor is it ideal that you bought your first marital home as a 1 bed- esp when planning a future with kids- but hey thats what the housing market of recent years has done im afraid, youre certainly not alone in your predicament so dont take any notice of any overly harsh comments.

i was in a 1 bed with 3 kids so i know its not great fun, but its not the end of the world... this was only a few years ago btw, not the dark ages- though it sounds like it . that little flat got us through for a year or so though, and made us stronger- hopefully you can look back and say the same thing :A . could you consider partitioning off some of the bedroom or living room? youll get through it, good luck

ruggedtoast

PolishBigSpender wrote: »

Perhaps it might serve as a timely warning to other people that having children in such an environment is not good for anyone - the parents, the child or indeed people reading this forum.

This is basically saying the probably the single most important and loving thing that any couple can do, ie make a family, should be reserved only for those who are lucky enough to be winners in the system. A system which is grossly unfair, heavily weighted against the majority of “hard working families” (as that c0ck Brown insists on calling all the people he’s totally shafted), and designed and perpetuated to benefit a small elite who comprise the status quo.

To hell with it I say. Let the workers breed and breed en masse, it’s the only form of protest and subversion left to us. Let us unshackle ourselves from the miserable burden of social climbing and let the streets run wild with our burberry clad chavkins swinging from lampposts and jumping up and down on Bentleys. Let the hooded tide erupt from the ghettoes of south London and swamp the bastions of Mayfair and Kensington. Let investment bankers quake and property tycoons tremble, let Rupert and Henrietta lock their doors and wave their Daily Mails and squeak in anguish at the taxes deducted from their fat and undeserved paychecks to pay for our 2 up 2 downs and our plasma teles and our free prescriptions.

Ladies and gentlemen. Let us abandon our birth control and quite literally stick it to the man!

LittleTinker

PolishBigSpender wrote: »

Perhaps it might serve as a timely warning to other people that having children in such an environment is not good for anyone - the parents, the child or indeed people reading this forum.

And really none of your business either.

The advise was asked of her situation as it is now...not opinions of how she got here.

poppysarah

ruggedtoast wrote: »

Ladies and gentlemen. Let us abandon our birth control and quite literally stick it to the man!

OOer, Not while Diagnosis murder is on though :rotfl:

huntersc

PolishBigSpender wrote: »

Why do people in the United Kingdom persist in having children that they can barely afford to support? Getting pregnant when living in a one bedroomed flat with no prospect of moving to a bigger flat is irresponsible at best, and terrible at worst.

You're an idiot.

It doesn't matter how much you earn you'll never have enough money for children. You will always be caught short and struggle.

I was raised by my mum, on a council estate. She lived off benefits and we struggled. Really struggled. You know what? I had the best time ever and am grateful that my mother gave me the opportunity to be alive! To experience the things I do. There's no greater gift than to give life.

As Dawkins once said

We are going to die, and that makes us the lucky ones. Most people are
never going to die because they are never going to be born. The potential
people who could have been here in my place but who will in fact never
see the light of day outnumber the sand grains of Arabia. Certainly those
unborn ghosts include greater poets than Keats, scientists greater than
Newton. In the teeth of these stupefying odds it is you and I, in our ordinariness, that are here.

So as long as you care for and love a child it matters not how much money you have or how big your flat is. You'll cope and the child will be a happy child. I never knew what a 2 bedroom flat looked like when I was little, did I care? I didn't even notice.

before_hollywood

have you not tried applying for a call centre or anything like that?

Essexgirl81

huntersc wrote: »

I was raised by my mum, on a council estate. She lived off benefits and we struggled. Really struggled. You know what? I had the best time ever and am grateful that my mother gave me the opportunity to be alive! To experience the things I do. There's no greater gift than to give life.

I have to say that i'm from a similar background. I'm the eldest of 6 children. My mum didn't get her council house until I was 20 though!! She was married but the guy soon realised that it was more lucrative to stop working and claim benefits so they got stuck in the 'private rent payed by housing benefit trap' amongst other things. She's now divorced thank goodness and life is slowly getting back on track for her.

In comparison (although I know i shouldn't do it) I thought that I had cracked it so to speak. My mum was/is really proud of what's been achieved even though it's not quite how we wanted it perhaps. She's determined that my husband and I are not going to split up only because of money and I agree with that!!!

My daughter is a real blessing because (even though i'm only in my twenties) I was told that I would have real difficulty in having a baby. Ok, things haven't worked out with the accommodation situation but I always want my little girl to know that she was wanted and that she's not a burden to us. I can't think of anything worse than for a child to feel like they've screwed everything up for their parents because, as I said in a previous post, it's not her fault that the UK is currently experiencing a major downturn is it?

We can only hope that things will get better in the next few years. Until then, it looks like we'll be staying put and we can only try to make the flat into the most comfortable living space that we can. Gotta stay positive...nothing else for it!! :j

Thanks again to everyone who gave their positive feedback and support. Very much appreciated. :A