Stuck in a 1 bedroom flat - is there anything we can do?

ruggedtoast

huntersc wrote: »

You're an idiot.

It doesn't matter how much you earn you'll never have enough money for children. You will always be caught short and struggle.

I was raised by my mum, on a council estate. She lived off benefits and we struggled. Really struggled. You know what? I had the best time ever and am grateful that my mother gave me the opportunity to be alive! To experience the things I do. There's no greater gift than to give life.

As Dawkins once said

We are going to die, and that makes us the lucky ones. Most people are
never going to die because they are never going to be born. The potential
people who could have been here in my place but who will in fact never
see the light of day outnumber the sand grains of Arabia. Certainly those
unborn ghosts include greater poets than Keats, scientists greater than
Newton. In the teeth of these stupefying odds it is you and I, in our ordinariness, that are here.

So as long as you care for and love a child it matters not how much money you have or how big your flat is. You'll cope and the child will be a happy child. I never knew what a 2 bedroom flat looked like when I was little, did I care? I didn't even notice.

Bravo!

ten characters

Essexgirl81

before_hollywood wrote: »

have you not tried applying for a call centre or anything like that?

No, to my knowledge there's nothing like that in this area. Well, to specify, there are no call centres that are large enough to have an evening/night shift anyway.

If anyone knows any different then please let me know!!!!

carolt

Do really look at the Up Your Income board here on mse - there's loads of great ideas on there, from online working - I do some, thanks to a link on there, now - to setting up business, to...loads and loads of ideas.

Selling stuff off ebay (that you already own, or via car boots or dropshipping companies, etc)?

Um...you could offer babysitting in the evenings/weekends when your husband's there to help. I know at least 2 mums who started babysitting/au pair agencies to supply other mums with childcare, if you want to look larger scale. Online secretarial work?

Failing that, bar work in the evenings - I did that when skint when younger, and it can be lots of fun. Or restaurant work - can be more skilled, but needn't be.

Don't forget, it's not long now till your dd's 2, when she will probably qualify for a range of much cheaper nursery care - and all research shows that part-time nursery care for children 2+ is beneficial for the children, in terms of developing social skills etc. Leaving you free to work part-time hours at least.

Otherwise, for work away from home, some employers have on-site creches eg gyms, hospitals etc - have a friend who's a radiographer and her 3 kids just went to work with her every morning. As a previous poster has mentioned, if you go to college, many though not all will have on-site creches - your daughter now is getting towards the age where she'd probably enjoy the social interaction, particularly if it's for brief periods and you're not far away. Or childminders are usually cheaper than nurseries.

You parents-in-law sound dreadful - just ignore them and enjoy some time out when you can! To hell with what they think!

Treat yourself to a babysitter once in a blue moon - you do deserve it.

BTW, you sound like a lovely person and a great mum, and don't forget, the early years are a tough time for almost all parents financially, due to the lousy maternity benefits in this country, but it will pass, once your child starts sachool and you have some frree time to work - and you will miss it!

Enjoy your daughter while she's little and ignore any cruel commets. They're probably just jealous of the great things you do have.

Count your blessings.

RAS

One place to loock for idea on making a few extra tenners a month from home.

http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/protect/make-money

puddy

a - dont get sidetracked by the 'you should/shouldnt have had children' thing, it will take your energies from what you have come here for, that is a solution

b - dont get sidetracked by the in laws either. the problem is that when you try to explain, 'its none of your business' they then will make a drama out of the odd conversation where you express that things are tough.

they sound completely unsupportive, but unfortunately there's lots of them. i havent got kids and chose not to have them but my mum always made clear that under no circumtances was she going to be considered as a 'free babysitter' if i had kids. i didnt like to mention, erm, if i had kids mum you would actually be their grandmother, erm you are supposed to like the thought of them visiting, so you're not alone

c - have you joined any agencies or put your cv online or anything, not ideal as they may not have jobs which come with child care or which hours suit you but its worth a try

d - have you thought about nursery work, teaching assistant etc, also local government has lots of perks in terms of child care and stuff

EdInvestor

Essexgirl81 wrote: »

My husband and I bought a 1 bedroom flat for £113,000 in 2005. We had a small deposit so we actually borrowed £108,000 from the mortgage company.
Our mortgage repayments (over a 35 year term) are currently fixed until November 2009 at £751 per month

What interest rate is the OP paying on her loan at the moment?

The current SVR at BM is 4.84%, which should be available to her from November when her fixed rate ends.The SVR may even be lower by then.

http://www.askbm.co.uk/mortgages/info/rates/rates.asp

Light at the end of the tunnel?

shirlgirl2004

Essexgirl81 wrote: »

No, to my knowledge there's nothing like that in this area. Well, to specify, there are no call centres that are large enough to have an evening/night shift anyway.

If anyone knows any different then please let me know!!!!

How about Flying Flowers in Witham? I know they do outside of office hours because I've seen the board outside the agencies in Chelmsford loads of times (although not recently). Can't remember if it was nights of not.

Keep looking something will come up. It probably won't be great but it'll make things easier financially and hopfully put you in a better position so you can start to think about moving when things settle.

barnaby-bear

Essexgirl81 wrote: »

No, to my knowledge there's nothing like that in this area. Well, to specify, there are no call centres that are large enough to have an evening/night shift anyway.

If anyone knows any different then please let me know!!!!

If you can't find any work you might well get financial support to get some qualifications with the OU, they have online forums and occassional get togethers - which might make you feel more connected to adult world and working toward a better future...
http://www3.open.ac.uk/coursefinance/
they have childcare grants

lightSwitch_3

I think selling is not such a bad option. Think of it as a car, everyone that buys a car loses money. The good thing is all properties are going down. So sell, live at your mother's, save up a small deposit and buy in 18 months when prices have settled. You'll be paying £70 for a 1 or 2 bed flat by that time and even less if the economy really goes t-ts up.. That is a good result, so cheer up and go and have a nice meal at a restaurant.

xelaine88x

How about home care/ support work?
I am a home carer, and fair enough the pay isn't exactly brilliant but the hours are really flexible with shifts available between 7am and 10pm. Many of my colleagues have children and work 5pm - 10pm, while their partners are at home with the kids. Just a thought...:rolleyes: