My First Debt Free Diary- Pay the debt and lose 70lbs!!!!!!!

tasha-debt

Update on my to-do list for the week:

• List last 25 items on Ebay ( I cleared out my room again at the weekend) - 6 added, 19 to go.
• Re-write CV so that I can start applying for second jobs.
• Do at least 4 hours of course work by Saturday.
• Try and book some MS jobs.
• Look into and sign up for daily clicks (don’t really understand what they are)
• Change my bed and hover room - Done
• Take big change pot to bank and pay off evil Next account -Done

xxxx

tasha-debt

Can I please ask people advice about a problem I am having with my boyfriend?

We have been together over 3 years now. One of my passions in life is traveling to new places. Admittedly its one of the reason's I am in debt. I think if you think the person you are with is the one you want to be with forever then you should try things that each of you likes to do as a couple, even if after you decide its not for you such as golf. My Boyfriend has never been aboard (except home to Africa a few times when he was younger) and if we have a long term future together (after I am debt free) holidays/travelling to new places will be part of that.

I have been away every year since we met with my parents or a friend. Every year I have invited him to come and he has always said no, he does not see the point of holidays and seeing new places, plus it’s a waste of money. But he will waste money on plenty of other things like takeaways etc.

This year my grandparents have booked a villa in Crete and have asked my parents, sister, nephew, my boyfriend and I to join them. So all we need to pay for are the flights (easy jet £109 each).

My boyfriend has said he will go but is acting like he really doesn’t want to. I have asked him every day to please book the time off work but he is digging his heals in.

To me this is a deal breaker, I want to be able to share new experiences together when we are older, it’s like I need him to come away this year to prove to myself that we will be happy together in the future and he will want to share my passions. After this trip I would be okay to go without for a few years to save money for our deposit etc because I would feel better knowing we would be sharing some of these adventures with me.

I don’t understand why he doesn’t get how important this is to me.

This is really getting to me now, am I being silly, should it really matter that I may end up spending my time doing these things without him? I worry I would start to resent him for not wanting to even try it; I would try anything with him if it was his passion as its part of him and I love him.

Sorry I know this isn’t about money saving but it is so much easier to talk to people who don’t know us both.

Head-Out-Of-Sand

Hi Tasha,

I think you really need to have a chat with him about it - in my previous experience, men often don't realise how much stuff bothers women, and we're there obsessing and thinking "He just doesn't care, the b*****d!!" and he actually just doesn't know and is thinking about beer or the offside rule or something equally manly and inane.

I think of you get things out in the open and find out exactly how he feels about it, you'll be in a better position to assess where the relationship is going. Could give you the answers you don't really want, but it's better to know than to muddle along & worry about it by yourself.

I was with a guy for 4 years, we started going out during Uni & moved in together for the last year. Things were really perfect for the first three years, we we're actually a sickeningly perfect couple, we loved spending time together but had our own stuff too, never argued, rarely even disagreed on stuff and shared similar interests.

But towards the end, we were both growing up and we had changed from when we were 20, we started going in different directions and started arguing all the time. Long term, he wanted to work abroad, like his dad had, but wasn't applying for those jobs because he had moved in with me and I had settled in here. He obviously resented that, because I made friends easily here but he struggled, and he started being really grumpy with me and shouting at me (I do not deal well with being yelled at!).

In the end, I had enough. We had both changed and the relationship was making us both miserable. He wanted a different life than I did; he wouldn't be happy staying in the UK long term, but I knew that with the type of job he wanted, I wouldn't have my own career or independence, and my life would basically consist of following him around the world playing wifey. Sooooo not me.

Don't get me wrong, I'd love to travel, and intend to once I'm not in debt, but I want to do it on my own terms. SO I bit the bullet and ended it.

My parents were really upset about it (I think my mum had already started planning her outfit for the wedding) and were kinda hard on me about it, at one point suggesting I was having a breakdown! But I knew in my heart it was the right decision.

Hardest thing I've ever done, but I've never once doubted it was the right thing. We're now both in happy relationships with other people.

I'm not saying this is necessarily the right thing for you, but if you aren't honest with each other you'll spend so much time and heartache wondering. I think when you're ready, it's time to lay your cards on the table and see if your ideas for the future match up.

This kinda stuff's never easy, but you only get one life and you deserve to enjoy it and live the way you want to. However difficult the conversation is, you'll thank yourself for having it eventually.

Feel free to vent on here, like you say, it helps sometimes to get a neutral point of view, from people who aren't swayed by their feelings towards the other half.

BIG HUGS ((((H)))) xxx

tasha-debt

Thank you HOOS, I took your advice and on Saturday I made him sit down with me and talk. Your support means so much to me.

I am very happy to say that everything is now sorted out and I am back to being a happy person.

My Friend got back from her travels and called me, we are meeting up for a drink on Friday, im going to tell her how much she hurt me but that I want us to be friends still. I just want her to acknowledge that she should be supporting me.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

tasha-debt

New list for this week is:
List last 15 items on Ebay - ive made over £100 this week.
Apply for second jobs.
Do at least 6 hours of course work by Saturday.
Try and book some MS jobs.
Look into and sign up for daily clicks (don’t really understand what they are)

I had a very strange dream about Alan Sugar coming to my work, offering me a job with a salary of £100K and saying here is £10K go and buy some designer suits....... then I woke up. Wow what a dream.

Head-Out-Of-Sand

Hi Tasha,

That's great, I'm glad you got it sorted out!!

And I hope things go well with your friend, if she's a good mate she'll take it on board and apologise! xx

redstararnie76

I had a very strange dream about Alan Sugar coming to my work, offering me a job with a salary of £100K and saying here is £10K go and buy some designer suits....... then I woke up. Wow what a dream.

:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

(Alan Sugar I mean, obviously not £100k job + £10k)

poddle911

Hi Tasha,

Just had a read through your thread and it seems like I arrived at a good time yay on the getting the boyfriend to open up, meeting up with your friend, eBay profits and generally being in a good place!

You've made great progress with the debt-busting so far and I look forward to your updates - good luck with the to-do list! x

tasha-debt

Good morning everyone,

I am in such a good mood today and I have no idea why?

Redstararnie - You should have seen the suits I bought with my 10K clothing allowence!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi Poddle - I am so determined this time to finally clear my debts, its blimin hard though.

I have not bought my purse with me today so that means I have to have a NSD. I was aiming for min of one a week, I havn't been doing very well.

But today is a new day, so during April (its my Birthday on the 13th) I will be having at least 6 NSD. It will be hard but I will do it.

What plans does everyone have for the weekend, as it is not payday until next Tuesday!!!! I will be a good girl and do lots of course work and some more ebaying. What a fun weekend ahead!

xxxxxxxx

tasha-debt

Hi all,

I decided at the weekend that I am going blonde, I need to make some change's and changing my hair colour is a start. I want to feel more confident and in control of my life.

I took a picture of Jennifer Aniston to my hair dresser as I want to look a light brown/golden blonde colour. My hair dresser has done me a good deal as she suggested I go blonde ages ago: £44.50 for highlights, cut and blow dry. Wish me luck.

On another thread I ready everyone has gone baking crazy, thought i would share my favourite Muffin baking site: http://www.muffinrecipes.co.uk/page24.html.

Its payday tomorrow, I cant wait, I hate 5 weekend moths, they are so hard. I am really hoping I make the 25% paid of mark this week.

Hope your all having a good Monday.

xxxxxxx

P.S Its my Birthday soon, I dont want to turn 27 but I love presents and Birthday cake. lol