Toddler not talking

wannabe_sybil

alwaysonthego wrote: »

Does your husband support you?

My dear heart is very good - he will feed little bear and change him and I get Saturday afternoons off, when he looks after little bear. I don't have a problem going out without him He is a little out of action at the moment because he has sliced open both his hands so I don't want him changing a nappy, and he has been so stressed by work that he does need to spend time just recovering. Dear heart loves playing with little bear and I hope he will be there when the Health Visitor comes.

*Maya*

wannabe_sybil wrote: »

My dear heart is very good - he will feed little bear and change him and I get Saturday afternoons off, when he looks after little bear. I don't have a problem going out without him He is a little out of action at the moment because he has sliced open both his hands so I don't want him changing a nappy, and he has been so stressed by work that he does need to spend time just recovering. Dear heart loves playing with little bear and I hope he will be there when the Health Visitor comes.

Sorry love but I think your needs and those of your little boy are greater than his at the moment.

alwaysonthego_2

wannabe_sybil wrote: »

My dear heart is very good - he will feed little bear and change him and I get Saturday afternoons off, when he looks after little bear. I don't have a problem going out without him He is a little out of action at the moment because he has sliced open both his hands so I don't want him changing a nappy, and he has been so stressed by work that he does need to spend time just recovering. Dear heart loves playing with little bear and I hope he will be there when the Health Visitor comes.

he should be doing this as part of his duties as a father. What i mean does he support you in your depression?

wannabe_sybil

*Maya* wrote: »

No one is saying you are weak.

Does your husband ( I presume that is who "dear heart" is, know of all your problems? Can I ask why he still doesn't want your little boy to be with other people?

Sorry you had a bad experience but Homestart are completely different to Surestart.

He has not been comfortable in the past with the idea of little bear being left with a childminder one afternoon a week (I hoped that it would help little bear mingle) or nursery one afternoon a week. I also understood that for a lot of nursery places he would need to be toilet trained, and I think he is too young yet for that. Little bear was actually left with someone who was a complete stranger to him for my late mother in law's funeral, dear heart's cousin, and he was fine. I do not worry about leaving him with someone I trusted as little bear seems to enjoy people, but I think dear heart would prefer little bear to be with his mum.:o

alwaysonthego_2

wannabe_sybil wrote: »

He has not been comfortable in the past with the idea of little bear being left with a childminder one afternoon a week (I hoped that it would help little bear mingle) or nursery one afternoon a week. I also understood that for a lot of nursery places he would need to be toilet trained, and I think he is too young yet for that. Little bear was actually left with someone who was a complete stranger to him for my late mother in law's funeral, dear heart's cousin, and he was fine. I do not worry about leaving him with someone I trusted as little bear seems to enjoy people, but I think dear heart would prefer little bear to be with his mum.:o

He is not too young for a place at nursery and it would do him good once a week to interact with other children and give you a break. Ask your hv for recommendations of local nurseries.

*Maya*

wannabe_sybil wrote: »

He has not been comfortable in the past with the idea of little bear being left with a childminder one afternoon a week (I hoped that it would help little bear mingle) or nursery one afternoon a week. I also understood that for a lot of nursery places he would need to be toilet trained, and I think he is too young yet for that. Little bear was actually left with someone who was a complete stranger to him for my late mother in law's funeral, dear heart's cousin, and he was fine. I do not worry about leaving him with someone I trusted as little bear seems to enjoy people, but I think dear heart would prefer little bear to be with his mum.

But his mum isn't coping. I don't mean that to sound harsh but if you are able to go out on a Saturday afternoon without your son but not with him then there is part of you that is not coping with him at the moment. Your husband needs to recognise this and help you all he can.

fsdss

wannabe_sybil wrote: »

My dear heart is very good - he will feed little bear and change him and I get Saturday afternoons off, when he looks after little bear. I don't have a problem going out without him He is a little out of action at the moment because he has sliced open both his hands so I don't want him changing a nappy, and he has been so stressed by work that he does need to spend time just recovering. Dear heart loves playing with little bear and I hope he will be there when the Health Visitor comes.

Can i just clarify if dear heart has had an accident or maybe has mental health problem?, as this might put more of a perspective on what difficulties you are experiencing, and allow for a better understanding.

PurpleK8

if you contact your local family information service (council run) they should be able to help you find your son a place at a day nursery and have the fees paid (I work for a childrens charity and know that there are a few pots of money that do this for respite reasons in wales, presume its the same in england?).
also want to reassure you about speech - my son wouldn't speak a word despite mixing with other kids all the time. I kept taking him to see the health visitor who tried to reassure me that he was ok but I still worried. She ran tests on him (following her instructions to build a tower of blocks, draw a circle etc) and confirmed that there was nothing wrong. She said to me that from the way he responded she was sure he was really bright and that they found boys start speaking at 2 years and 3 months. Didn't really believe this but he was 2 in the may, in august he just started speaking perfectly, it was weird! He is now a very bright and extremely talkative 13 year old

tsstss7

I have to agree that little bear (cute nickname :0) ) probably just needs a bit more interaction with peers and the outside world.

My ds1 was a slow talker too and with hindsight I probably didn't go out enough when he was little (we lived in lovely rural isolation back then!) and it was only when I started to do regular toddler gps that he began to have lots of peer interaction and he soon caught up.

Since like you I was quite socially isolated I had to try quite hard to have him mix often by inviting other mums and their children over as well as going to as many groups as I could find. I appreciate that it may be harder for you though (I was quite shy back then and found it awful tbh I only started to enjoy it when ds1 was old enough to be left and I could then get to know other mums at playgroup door more gradually).

Personally as your Lo is 2 I'd opt for a nursery session a week to supplement the group you already attend if the option is still available to you and I'm sure LO will catch up very quickly.

It certainly doesn't sound like there are any reasons to believe he has hearing problems or such since he seems to have a high level of comprehension so I'd not be too worried yet. I seem to remember my ds's friend at that age was not talking much at 3 and he is now perfectly ok that way so there is obvioulsy a huge degree of difference in to how long children take to start talking.

k2tog

We had similar concerns with DS2. DS1 was talking from an early age - as soon as he twigged that talking achieved things there was no shutting him up and even now aged 6 he loves long or complicated words. DS2 did not really speak until he was past 2 yrs. He preferred to point and make noises. People used to say not to worry because DS1 did the talking for him and I used to nod, but that really wasn't the case. DS2 just did not seem to feel the need to talk and no amount of cajoling would get anything out of him. He is now 3 and a bit and talking alot - although abit indistinctly - and is capable of expressing quite complex ideas.
My boys are just very different from each other in may ways and I wish I hadn't wasted time worrying about his speech and worrying that I might be doing something wrong, because it's much nicer to relax and enjoy your time with them when you can.
IMHO, try not to worry and feel guilty (because that won't help you or your son) and accept any and all support that you are offered.
Good luck