access to my partners son

gemz20

pinkshoes wrote: »

He should write to his child, sending the letters via the CSA, as at least this way it shows he tried to keep in touch, and perhaps the letters might reach the child?!

Why doesn't he go for custody?

we have sent christmas cards and his last birthday cards to his grandmothers address by recorded delivery and we have also put money in a back account for his birthdays and christmas

It makes me mad when you get parents that do this when my partner has done everything for his son

Krystaltips

I think you're doing the right thing Gemz in not giving up on him. Keep fighting and proving to him you're still here and at least he will grow up knowing more of the story than she's giving him...

pinkshoes

Krystaltips wrote: »

The trouble with stopping CSA payments though is that they will still chase and he will acrue arrears... They don't care about access or rights of the child...

He should stop the payments, and put the money in an ISA to accrue interest, so that there will be no problem paying the arrears.

It wouldn't be stopping payment out of spite, with no intention to pay again. It's just a potential way of getting the mother to complain, and thus get a contact address for her in order to (rightfully) have access to the child.

Personally I think that whoever has custody of a child when parents split up should not be allowed to move within 30 miles of the original address until the child is 16 (unless the other parent grants permission), and must keep the other parent informed of any change of address should they want to know! A child, after all, is a lifetime commitment, so sacrifices need to be made when these things happen!

gemz20

Krystaltips wrote: »

I think the grandmothers is the way to go really, I would be sending letters to the child there so they can see they're not being forgotten...

we have sent cards xmas and birthday to address by recorded delivery so even if she refuses them we hae proof we attempted to send them but unfortunatly the mother is as bad as the daughter
i think she wants 2 believe her daughter lives an ideal life and by pretending her daughter lives this perfect life of nice married copule with a son and forget he has another family here

mookiandco

Have you asked your solicitor whether you can make an application to the high court for a search and find order. This would mean that the court could order that any person ie Grandma who knows the whereabouts of the mother must provide the details to the court.

chatnoir

If you know where the grandmother lives and say she visits, then why not do a stake out....if there is any particluar day you know she visits, then you turn up aswell ( not letting her see you) and then follow her home.....then you will have an address! hey presto....give that to solicitor

gemz20

chatnoir wrote: »

If you know where the grandmother lives and say she visits, then why not do a stake out....if there is any particluar day you know she visits, then you turn up aswell ( not letting her see you) and then follow her home.....then you will have an address! hey presto....give that to solicitor

we have thought about this but do not now exact times day when she would visit and also if she did happen to spot us or had my partners son with her i would not like to make the situatuion worse and it causing more distress for my stepson as i think he has been put through enough already with the changes that have happened to him it makes me mad the csa protect parents that use there children like toys

barjam_2

mookiandco wrote: »

Have you asked your solicitor whether you can make an application to the high court for a search and find order. This would mean that the court could order that any person ie Grandma who knows the whereabouts of the mother must provide the details to the court.

the solicitor can go through the courts for a judge to place an order to finding out the whereabouts, it can be done.. its through the dwp finding out where the child benefit is getting paid to

gemz20

mookiandco wrote: »

Have you asked your solicitor whether you can make an application to the high court for a search and find order. This would mean that the court could order that any person ie Grandma who knows the whereabouts of the mother must provide the details to the court.

thank we didnt know about that so going to ask the solictor about getting this sorted

KeepYourChinUp_2

I don't have much to add but I wouldn't stop the payments because all they will do is slap an attachment of earnings on your partner so it would be a futile exercise which would more than likely cause you more pain than her. She is also using the child as a weapon/cash machine not a toy.

I wish you good luck in getting it sorted.