The giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread! Part 2

budget_babe

Hi Princess Pauper, yes the idea is that you set yourself a target of how many alcohol free days you want to aim for in the month. For instance I am trying for 28 days, other members targets vary and some do not have a total. You have to set what you think you can achieve? Don't worry if you don't make your target thats fine too. I would recommend that you read through some old post, they will give you a good idea of what goes on here. Please ask if you need to know anything else. Lots of love xxxxxxx

Pippilongstocking

Pauper_Princess wrote: »

Awww thanks BB

The AF challenge - is this the " 2AF" type thing I've seen? Do I need to set a limit, say aim for 30 days AF? (gods that sounds scary)

Either way am officially AF1 (is that right?) as of tonight :T

So tomorrow I will wake up without a hangover and not shaking

PP you have done the first day and that can be really hard - well I find the first day hardest of all.

Apart from the occasional slip into a Geordie accent its all pretty understandable on here - not that I can understand much Geordie you understand:D - but it sounds pretty friendly....

Night night and well done!!!

Jo I think I need to invest in some good decaf too - xx

budget_babe

PP sorry forgot to say yes today would be afd 1, see how many you want to try. Take Care Hugs xxxxx

Pauper_Princess

After discussions with OH we're going for a target of 14 (we only drink together - how sad - so when I'm not drinking neither is he).

Am very scared now!!! 30 days sounded too long

So today is AFD 1/14. I think!!! Guess the "beer" symbol would be inappropriate right now??

14 days, roughly £10 a day = £140 :eek: :eek: :eek:

That's £280 PER MONTH. Minimum. Bet in reality it's a lot higher.

That is FAR more frightening than giving up for 14 days. Gonna do this :T

Thank you all once again, I feel like I've made a start at last :A

maman

Welcome Princess Pauper, I'm sure you'll find this thread really great. The people on here are so kind and helpful and you certainly won't get yelled at.

I'm a 'cutter down' like you rather than a 'giver up'. My target is just 10 so your 14 is great!!

I, too, find the first night hard. Usually I cope with Mondays by going to a class where there is no alcohol on offer and so when I get home the day is nearly over. Unfortunately tonight the class was cancelled due to snow but I have managed with just tea and water.

So AF for me winebox, please.

Hope everyone has a good sleep tonight.

eselt

Hi all- welcome p.princess, you've gotta start somewhere and if its going to work it needs to start with YOU, so well done you!!!!! Oh, and we don't shout at each other, but watch out for Mollys whip which is needed to get us all back on the waggon when there is group dissent- it works, she can be very very scary.

Jo, glad the shakey days are reducing, god I remember waking up with teeth chattering at 4 in the morning, throwing up, restless legs that wouldn't keep still- I thought I had a psychological problem like bad nerves, or I was having some kind of breakdown, but it all stopped when I stopped drinking, within 72 hours. Then it was just the headwork. Molly, I totally understand your thoughts here (I think)- I started drinking because I had little confidence and if I drank I could dance and let myself go and relax, but we both know those few hours of pleasure are accompanied by many other hours of utter misery, shame and guilt. In terms of what you get out of alcohol, compared to how much it takes out of you, its just not good value and not worth investing in. Molly you've done so well, please don't go back to where you were or all of last year, and all your effort and hardwork will be diminished and I can't bear the thought of you sliding and having to start again.

Sorry to hear about the whiplash FUAS, blimey, that can be really nasty and painful, take care.Make sure you are nice and warm and comfortable, and get to docs asap.

Night everyone- eselt

mollypolly

Bismarck wrote: »

which brings me to molly....what can I say...I feel what you mean and if there were a way of getting that little moment of release without any risk of anything else, it would be very difficult to resist. If I could switch it on and off again and wake up the next day and carry on as normal then that would be one thing.

BUT, years of experience have shown that I can't do this and having the odd one here and there just blurs the line and makes it harder to say no next time.

I am better without a simple yes I drink or no I don't....anything else becomes too unpredictable and I lose.

In the end, it's up to you Molly - if you feel you can without jeopardising everything then it's your choice...I'm happy with me as I am - OK I may not go silly and hit that little spot of being slightly tipsy...but then again, whenever I went for that spot in the past I found it so hard to keep it all in balance that the "fun" really wasn't worth it.

I like being predictable now.

Take care everyone....

Thanks for those words Bismarck.Sometimes I feel quite alone and its good to know that others feel the same.Now that my family have accepted that I no longer drink they just leave me to get on with it while they all carry on drinking.....well DD's do only drink when they go out and DH drinks everyday but doesnt think he has a problem....because he knows when to stop...whereas I didnt.!!!
I think that they think its just easy for me now....AND IT ISNT!!!!
Anyway I have decided to carry on with this ....it will soon be a year and I must have had some fun during that time:D :rolleyes:

Jo...Glad the shakes have past.Keep up the good work.

Welcome aboard Princess Pauper and good luck with your cutting down/giving up.

Well done to everyone else on your great start for AFF.

Take care everyone.
Lots of Love Mollypollyxxxx

mollypolly

Eselt...you posted whilst I was typing.
Thanks for your thoughts...I have already decided that its not worth it. As you say what price for that little bit of pleasure. ....I just cant afford it.

So I am staying on this wagon with my whip in hand:D

Take care of you.
Love Mollypollyxxxx

Patchoulli

Hi all

Fedup - sorry about your accident - hope you're ok, take it easy.

Welcome PauperP, we're all just helping each other as best we can, what I love about this place is that it isn't judgemental - hope it helps you.

Regarding the "this is boring - I need a bit of fun" stuff, I can relate to this. It happened to me a couple of weeks ago. After having an AF week and looking and feeling so much better, I actually thought to myself, "actually, I don't like this, I don't like me like this...yeah, I feel better, my liver is having a thankyou party for me, but so what?...sober is boring". But somehow I just gritted my teeth and did something - cleaned out son's bedroom I think (which is always a challenge and requires protective clothing - lol) and got through it. And the next day I saw it differently.

Being half cut and mouthing off at my partner is not fun. Falling asleep and being unable to focus at the end of a good thriller is not fun. Waking up with the rapid heartbeat and raging thirst is not fun. And sitting at work nursing a headache is not fun. And telling a best friend exactly why the love of her life bores the pants off me, and recounting every !!!!!y word the morning, is not fun.

So really, life sometimes, sober or drunk (or somewhere inbetween) is not fun. Sometimes its just plain boring. But boring is better sober, believe me.

After a while I've found that I can actually enjoy myself sober. I have my alcohol free Becks, which I'm addicted to (and is I think the reason I've not lost weight since I drastically cut down) and that helps.

And the "fun" we have when drunk isn't really fun is it? Yeah, we loosen up and have a laugh - but at what cost? I've lost friends through "having fun" when drunk .... I've almost lost a job through days off with hangovers following "having fun".

So perhaps we just have to accept that the price we pay for a few hours of "fun" is just too damn high.

Alcohol is a mind altering drug - and I might not feel right now I have much fun - but at least the fun I have doesn't come at a high price. And it will get better - we will learn to adapt - we have to take it in small steps, and just go with the flow.

Take care all.
X

biscotte

Good morning! A really cold one here but at least the sun is shining.

Welcome PP, as others have said this is a super supportive board, well done on setting yourself (and OH) a target - all things are possible here.

Mollypolly, your posts have got me thinking a lot about the 'fun' element of drinking and how I identify myself as a 'fun outgoing person'. Quite a bit of that is to do with having a drink whilst out. However I have always managed to be fun and interesting whilst stone cold sober during the day so why do I feel that at night I can only be fun and sparkling whilst tippling?
I used to completely identify with being a smoker and now 4+ years along that is just no longer me, so I guess in time our identification with being a 'drinker' would also change. Mmmmm.


Fedup, I hope you are looking after yourself and Jo, having the shakes sounds terrible, glad for you that they're going.

Winebox, I am now 2 days AF. OH had a couple of glasses of red wine last night (but he always has a very civilised attitude to wine), but I didn't, just said I would perhaps have some later and then had tea instead. I haven't actually said that I am having an AFF to him - not sure why though, just want to keep it all here really.

Have a good day