Update

angel182

Well hello. since you guys gave me advice on weather to leave my house and rent or wait well i have now got a two bedroom house to rent ! they excepted my dog and I can move in from monday. I have stopped paying the mortgage scarey..... but the beauty of it is is that i can move out slowly and get the other house more sorted.

Well hubby has been a !!!!!!! cold and unemotional- he didnt even text me over christmas to see if i was ok he has not contacted me 4 eleven days.

Its like i never knew him..... im devasted. its a month yesterday since he walked out. I had a tearful xmas. And now its new years eve and im in tears and on here talking to you guys. going to bed in a min as i cant deal with the pain


Angel

k2nga

I always think New year is a time for a fresh start in everything you do. I think you should do that and see tomorrow as a New Year and New Life. Hopefully your hubby will come round as if not he will loose out.

Well done an starting the move and starting the move to your new life and i wish you all the best.

startagain_2

Hi angel,

I don't know why but I was thinking of you earlier on today and wondering how you were? I guessed that you were probably with family or friends for Crimble ..... I am so sorry that you are still finding it all so raw.
Not the same I know, but I am trying to get over the break up of a long term relationship that ended in November and I think Xmas and New Year have got to be the hardest times to cope with it. The number of times I have reached for my phone and stopped myself from ringing him, knowing that it will end in tears - mine. I can promise you one thing.... time is a great healer and it will gradually get better.
A book that helped me enormously if you are interested is "How to get over a broken heart" and it is written by Paul McKenna (the hypnotist) and it is really good with lots of practical suggestions and ideas. It is well worth buying. Amazon will have second hand copies, I am sure.
Great news re the house and that doggy is welcome ..... well done you for sorting that out.
Don't forget..... small steps, one at a time. I am at work and online and there are a few of the others about too, not everyone is out gallavanting....
Lots of support here for you -
SA

chelseabun_3

Thanks for the update Angel - I was wondering how you were. Well done on the house! That's great news, I'm really pleased things are starting to move for you.

I agree with SA and K2nga, Christmas and New Year are really horrible when you're on your own and in pain. Going to bed is a good idea - tomorrow's a fresh start. Small steps, take one day at a time - or one hour if that's what you can cope with! I know it doesn't really help to hear it, but it does get better, with time and distance. Maybe he'll take his head out of the sand, maybe he won't, but you can get through this without him.

Take care of yourself, good luck with the house move, and keep posting on here! CBx

willsandolly

angel182 wrote: »

Well hello. since you guys gave me advice on weather to leave my house and rent or wait well i have now got a two bedroom house to rent ! they excepted my dog and I can move in from monday. I have stopped paying the mortgage scarey..... but the beauty of it is is that i can move out slowly and get the other house more sorted.

Well hubby has been a !!!!!!! cold and unemotional- he didnt even text me over christmas to see if i was ok he has not contacted me 4 eleven days.

Its like i never knew him..... im devasted. its a month yesterday since he walked out. I had a tearful xmas. And now its new years eve and im in tears and on here talking to you guys. going to bed in a min as i cant deal with the pain


Angel

Hi Angel

I am sorry you are feeling so down. This is a hard time of year for many of us without all the additional problems of a break up so near.

You will find that you think of him less and less and you will become stronger and stronger and will look back and maybe even be thankful when you begin your new exciting independant life.

Take care you. x

Lensman_2

I don't know what your real name is but I feel like I need it. Just to say to you - bloody well done sorting your rental out!

I am sorry it feels so bad. I have been divorced for 2 years but survived on friendly texts a few times a week. Those have just stopped dead and now hope has died. She is still my best mate. But now I am plainly not hers. There is something horribly fatal feeling about it.

Please can you do something for a random guy off the internet tomorrow? Pat yourself on the back for doing so well so far... Getting a let with your dog deserves respect

I am not going to extend my wishes for 2009 to you because of the tough spot you are in - it feels like it would be patronising. But I do really hope that tomorrow is a better day than today. And the same for the day after that.

Take care.

Jim

applepiencustard

Hi Angel, really hope you are feeling better, i've had some very rough times in the past year and am not too sure how i got through some of it, but i did find at the end of the day if i had a quiet min or two to just congratulate myself on getting through the day! if i'd managed something great, like you did getting house organised and being able to take your dog with you (well done you!), then i'd write it down so i could see it (sounds really silly but sometimes you need reminding how great you are). so take it from me you are a great person and no matter what you'll survive this. and it's his loss.

Slay1963

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=DJQI61fOBDI&feature=related

angel182

Thank You all for you kind replies. I have so much on my plate i dont know how i am getting up in the morning. marriage breakup, money problems, two houses to sort out. And bankruptcy in february and hold down a full time job. He is just concerned about feeding his face and going to work he has left all the worry and stress on my plate.

I am so scared about the bankruptcy I owe a !!!! load now as i have added over a grand to it by buying stuff for the new house. can they do anything to me for that??? i also dont know what to do re bank account. I owe barclays a shitload so co-op my only option I am scared to open it up now incase the OR makes me close it then i have no option?

peachyprice

Hi Angel,
Glad to hear you're starting to get sorted, baby steps, and one day you'll look back and realise just how far you've come.

As for a co-op account, as long as it's 'clean' with just you wages going in and your expenditure for your new home going out there's no reason for the OR to close it, and co-op won't either.

The OR does tend to overlook essential spending before BR, they are human and will see that you needed to set up your new home.

Take care.

angel182

Just so frightend that i will get a nasty one and they will close it and there goes my only option out the window. thanks for your support. i went to bed a ten last night and cried woke up and cried and cried just a min ago i cant beleive this happend we were good together