Update

fiveyearplan

I can confirm my coop account was never frozen. How old is your daughter? If you're that worried about coop account being frozen have your wages put into her account temporarily. If she doesn't have an account, tell her to open one.

angel182

I dont have a daughter.... just little old me thanks to my hubby x

fiveyearplan

Oh, sorry Angel, I re-read your early post when you said DD's I though you meant darling daughter but realise it was direct debits. Ooops!

angel182

no probs xxx

startagain_2

Good morning angel,
I missed the posts last night - I was busy tackling my BR forms! :eek:

I just wanted to say that I am thinking of you and you are not alone in your fears and worries. This is all completely new to a lot of us on here....

I have been with my bank for 12 years and because I owe them so much I have had to walk away and open a co-op account. I had exactly the same worries as you and asked for loads of advice on here..... I think patsypat was the same. I have only paid £12 into my new account - to pay the tv licence d/d - other than that it won't be used before the BR. All my d/ds and salary details are attached to that account now, so if it does get frozen, or heaven forbid closed, I am in the doo-doo.
But.... for the first time in a long time I am thinking positively and not negatively, thanks to the help and support on here, and so will you eventually, I am sure.
Go ahead, open the co-op account - you have to have an acount for everday living - it will be fine. Just keep the transactions to the absolute essentials.
I panicked too about the last purchases I made with credit/catalogues - the week I decided to go BR..... but it all happened so quickly - cutbacks at work, finding this board, contacting the CCCS, that in the space of 48 hours my whole world changed. What is done, is done - you can't change it.. don't worry.
Lastly (sigh of relief) I have found that posting on here and keeping my head full of turning my life around and thinking forwards, not backwards, has helped a huge amount towards getting over my break up, and the gaping hole in my life without "him" in it. Remember two little steps forward and it doesn't matter if there is a little step back just keeping looking ahead - try not to dwell on the past.....
Keep posting and asking on here - there are so many people on here looking out for others, you need never feel alone....

SA

chelseabun_3

Hi again angel,

Please don't worry about the co-op account. What generally happens is that you speak to the OR (or more usually their examiner who will be dealing with your case) on the phone at the court after the Judge has made you BR. This isn't the OR interview, it's just a short chat for the OR's office to identify any urgent issues you have which they need to get on top of straight away. One of those issues is your basic bank account - when my OH went BR they asked which account he was using as a basic account (you list them all on your BR papers, including the one you've opened for use after BR). When he said the co-op one they said "that's fine, we have no interest in it and we'll phone the co-op to confirm that." The co-op didn't freeze it at all, and OH just carried on using it as normal. That is what happens for 99% (at least!) of folks and it is what will virtually certainly happen for you - honest!

Regarding buying things for your house, as long as you've bought basics that you have to have, and not a huge plasma screen;) then the OR should overlook it. If you've spent money on things other than fridge, freezer, microwave, basic TV, sofas, basic bed etc etc, (eg. if you've bought a bed for £3000 when you could have bought one for £250 in the sales) then the OR won't be happy with that and may seize the offending item. BUT I doubt very much that that is the case, and I'm sure you will be fine!

I know the time between deciding to go BR and actually doing it feels really horrible and very stressful at times. It's the weirdest period of time, your emotions swing all over the place, and you do feel totally exhausted. Going through that as well as your break up must be doubly stressful - I do really feel for you and I'm glad you've got a place to live that will accept your dog as well. As SA says, keep looking ahead, and keep posting here, you're not on your own and things do honestly get better. CBx

kezza90

Hi Angel, I hope you are feeling a little better today? I find it so hard to give advice, all i can say to you is I know how you are feeling, it was the first xmas in 9 years I hadnt spoken or been with my ex, i kept expecting him to call...but he didnt, which i know is for the best. Our house is due to get reposessed on the 12th Jan but he hasnt even acknowledged this...i really dont know how he is managing to just carry on as if nothing is wrong but i guess some people are just like that! Is there no way you can sort things out with your ex now? Would you want to now after the heart ache you are going through? It's been 8 months now since i split with mine and I can honestly say i still think about him every day...sometimes hatred and sometimes love but it is easier now...so time is a healer, every day that goes by is a day closer to your BR and another day you have achieved another small goal...keep going angel, you will come out of this a much stronger person xxx

angel182

SA, CB,K....I have just logged on and you messages made me cry they were so lovely thank you....

I spoke to him last night he was so cold and when i cried he told me to stop as he couldnt handle the emotion he is like a man i never knew but i still love him and im thinking of him all the time, i cry like a baby all the time too.

He is very scared of the BR. and he said the debt drove him away if only we hadnt bought the house and spent all the money doing it up he would still be here. cant imagine being without him. Its true that the heart aches

angel182

About the bank account with co op i nearly did it yesterday but then got scared to do it incase i lose it. i should listen to you guys that know but i may get a horrible OR!!!!

I am not going to take all my statements of catalogues etc My mates didnt and they said sorry we dont keep them the OR excepted that

startagain_2

Hi angel,
I missed your posts last night - too busy watching a Russell Crowe film!!:smileyhea
Why do I always like bad boys?

Please believe me when I say I completely understand with how you feel at the moment, devastated I expect, and made all the worse by dealing with the break up, moving and the BR all at once.
But, IMO, I think that some good may come of this....... I think to get over a break up you need to change, both yourself and your surroundings, and then there aren't constant reminders of your time together.
One of the tips that Paul McKenna puts in his book is to redecorate, move furniture around etc - I repainted my flat, moved the stuff about and it helped so much.
You don't have to - you are moving..... well done again :T

A lot of being broken hearted comes from a fear of being alone and not being "attached" anymore. That will get easier as you prove to yourself that you can not only survive but you can thrive on your own...... prove it, not only to yourself but to him as well. It is so tempting to pick up the phone and call the ex but in my considerable experience :rolleyes: it nearly always ends in more sorrow and tears -yours! All you are doing is twisting the knife a bit more, try not to do it. Find other things to occupy yourself, try not to get bored or too down.
My personal problem is alcohol - I can be fine until I have had a glass or three of vino, and then all that goes through my head is "call him, call him".

After a few calls where I did get through and the response was less than favourable, or a lot where I didn't get through... which made me feel worse, I have given up. There has been no contact for nearly 6 weeks and I feel so much better for it. I miss him like crazy, and not an hour goes by that I don't think of him but I have accepted that it was not to be....
Love is being able to let go.......

Finally, open your Co-op account.... do it! :j They are really helpful and it is very simple and quick. It wont be closed down, there is no reason to do so unless you are going to put your hidden fortune in there and then gamble it all away - If it should get "taken away" , and it wont, open another... the OR knows you need a bank account.

Have a good day and remember you have a lot of help and support on here.

Best Wishes

SA