future relationships & a police caution

blingboy

Since my last marriage my ex made loads of DV allegations against me involving the police. Unfortunately despite there been no evidence etc. i got caught by the CPS and a crap solicitor....who advised me to accept a caution. Long story short i did but did not realise the consequences on my working life.

Althoughnow i have got on with my life and moved on...now in the frame to meet and date women. Getting friendly with one nice lady wish i would like to take our relationship further.
However, if a future relatinship does get serious i wish to be open about my past ...how do i tell/talk to them about my Police caution?

As my ex made so many allegations just to get me out of the marital home i do feel this now could ruin my future relationships......

any advice welcome

Errata

Tell her the truth. People usually prefer someone they're in a relationship with to be honest.

geri1965_2

Do you need to tell them at all? It's not like you are applying for a job. My OH has cautions and convictions for stuff, but I judge him by the person he is now, not what he did in the past.

If you do feel the need to confess all, I'd wait until the person knows you a bit and can make an informed judgement based on her own experience of you.

xredwebx

Hun dont worry about it! just be honest if your relationship progresses.
My OH has convictions and cautions gallore for being 'naughty' in his past, but its never fazed me and we're married and expecting our first child.
I'm sure any woman who you get close to will be understanding when told, everyone has things in their past they wish they didn't.

simpywimpy

I think you are worrying unnecessarily. If a new lady in your life is fazed by a caution, she's not the woman for you!

squidge60

honesty is best but i wouldnt tell her yet if youre not sure,good luck with any new relationships .x

Errata

Most women won't be fazed by a caution for drunk and disorderly, but a caution for domestic violence is a very different matter.

Oldernotwiser

You don't mention whether there was any truth in these allegations, which seems to me to be pretty important.

onetomany

prove them wrong?

mookiandco

As a family solicitor, I appreciate that there are some women who do make false allegations of DV particularly if they want a man out of the house. However, for every one of those there are many many who make legitimate allegations. Even though I know that women lie, I would be cautious around a man who told me he had a caution for DV. It would depend how well and how long you have known eachother if she can accept what you say is the truth. Either way it may be good to know now as she will be very hurt if she finds out another way later on. The truth has a habit of coming out. If she runs a mile then there is no trust and you have learnt that before you go any deeper. If she sticks around, hears you out and accepts what you say then you probably have a keeper! Good luck.

Oldernotwiser

mookiandco wrote: »

As a family solicitor, I appreciate that there are some women who do make false allegations of DV particularly if they want a man out of the house. However, for every one of those there are many many who make legitimate allegations. Even though I know that women lie, I would be cautious around a man who told me he had a caution for DV. It would depend how well and how long you have known eachother if she can accept what you say is the truth. Either way it may be good to know now as she will be very hurt if she finds out another way later on. The truth has a habit of coming out. If she runs a mile then there is no trust and you have learnt that before you go any deeper. If she sticks around, hears you out and accepts what you say then you probably have a keeper! Good luck.

But he hasn't said that he didn't commit any acts of domestic violence. What the OP actually said was "Unfortunately despite there been no evidence etc. i got caught by the CPS and a crap solicitor....who advised me to accept a caution." He's made no comment whatsoever on the truth of the charges.