Pocket money (merged)

scooby088

I never got pocket money as everything i wanted was given to me, but my nan used to give £1.00 a week or buy me the latest star wars comic.

MsHoarder

darlyd wrote: »

This is the question I have been wanting to know.

My DD is 12, I give her £10 every Monday to put on her finger (electronic) for school dinners, But by the Friday I am having to go into the school and put more on as she has spent it all . We also give her money for guides and youth club (twice a week) gives us some piece as she can be a handful so we don't mind this.
She does not do nothing in the house, never keeps her room clean, So We don't give her anymore cash. But she is off to Switzerland with the guides in the summer term and she has £0 saved up for spends, I have said to her to help more, even if it's just washing plates and cutlery, keeping her room clean, picking up after herself, taking the washing in, anything. But she to lazy. Of course I been putting few £ away each week for her spends, But she does not know this, And to be honest she does not deserve it, But as a parent it's the right thing to do, as couldn't see her go away with £0. Luckily nanny and grumpy paid for the actual trip.

How can I get it through to her she needs to do things to receive money?

Does she actually put the £10 on her "finger"? Or does it go to other things. I know that by that age I was given a cheque for £40 every month, which gave me a (reasonable) £1.50 a day for school dinners and about £5 spending money.

Only ran out of money once and learnt how to budget and about going to the [STRIKE]bank[/STRIKE] post office. All important lessons.

And if she has breakfast and dinner at home, and things to make herself a sandwich on offer, she's unlikely to starve for spending her lunch money on chocolate at the beginning of the week. Don't give her any more if £2 lets her buy a reasonable lunch in the canteen (although do check that it does).

Darlyd

Thanks for the tips guys.

She does put her £10 on her finger on a Monday morning. I have had a print out for what she has and to be honest it seems rather expensive. She has a choice SNACK (which is dearer option for lunch) OR LUNCH which is the cheapest, but she chooses SNACK as that is what her friends have. I will have a good chat with her tonight about "earning her keep", perhaps I could offer to put £1 a day in a pot and by the end of the week she will have £7 a week pocket money, if she does not do her chores one day she will not have that £1?

Or could I do it another way?

I want her to be able to have dinners in school so she can sit with her friends, so dinner money is no problem, I will just have to tell her £10 a week only, if she runs out by the Thursday again then she can take what I have in the fridge for Friday. Soggy cheese sandwiches, Or fishy tuna sandwiches her choice!

I am happy to pay for guides as that is something I used to do when I was a kid, And it keeps her busy and gives us some peace lol. And youth is 1 day a week and I give her £1 for that, So not breaking the bank there.

kingfisherblue

Darleyd - Re Guide camp - maybe you could remind her daughter od her Guide promise and tell her that saving towards her own spends is part of that. The guider might have a maximum amount allowed, and she won't want to be the girl with the least amount of spends. Also check what her spe4nds will cover - usually all food is provided, but will she have to pay for an occasional lunch on a day out?

Another idea is to say you will match whatever she saves, so if she manages only £5 saved, she will get £5 from her parents and will only have £10 to spend all together. If she manages to save lots, and with the matched amount it is above the maximum allowed, she can keep the rest to spend over summer or to save towards something else. She might something for Guide camp, or to go out with her friends for a pizza, etc.

As for the school dinners, could you send in a cheque and then you know it is going on school dinners and not anywhere else? have you checked the price of school dinners? My daughter had free meals at secondary school, but I still topped up her account so that she could get a decent meal each day. My son is going to secondary school in September and he has free school meals, but I expect I will have to top up his account as well. The school will send me an email stating what he has bought each day, as well as how much he has spent and how much 'credit' he has, if I ask them to. Will your daughter's school do the same?

Crossed posts! I must learn to type faster.

Instead of putting £1 a day in a jar, my friend puts a week's worth of money out (her daughter has 50p a day). There are seven 50p pieces on the windowsill every Sunday. If her daughter doesn't do as she is asked, she gets a warning. If she still doesn't do it, she has that day's money removed. Admittedly, my friend's daughter has learning difficulties, but seeing the amount reduce means that she has improved her behaviour as she doesn't like it to go back into mum's purse! You could do this with your daughter - I doubt if she will be lazy for long, but only if you stick to it.

No matter what you decide, be consistent. If you say one thing and do another, she will never learn and you are not helping her to develop any sense where money is concerned.

peachyprice

darlyd wrote: »

I want her to be able to have dinners in school so she can sit with her friends, so dinner money is no problem, I will just have to tell her £10 a week only, if she runs out by the Thursday again then she can take what I have in the fridge for Friday. Soggy cheese sandwiches, Or fishy tuna sandwiches her choice!

Do you have online access to her finger money through something like Parent Pay?

I pay my boys money online, so there's no cash for them to spend elsewhere and I can set a maximum limit per day, maybe there is something like that you can do?

Although I do think £2 is quite low if your menu is anything like ours, for that you would only get a drink, chips and roll, not a proper lunch. Our school gives a guideline of £3 per day, which for one of my boys is ample, the other not so, but they have a limit of £3.50 so there's some leeway.

mycatdenzil

I give my DS £10 per week into his current account and £10 per month into his savings account.

He saves up for things so won't buy anything for a few weeks if he's after an x-box game.

The £10 per week is made up of 5x£2 chores that he agreed to, these include keeping his room tidy, running the hoover round etc. If he neglects one of the 5 tasks, his £10 would reduce to £8.

Now, here's the clever bit - the money is paid via Standing Order each week, if the amount is reduced to £8 one week, he can't take anything out at the cash machine as the minimum is £10. Being a teenage DS the thought of going into the bank and having to 'speak to the lady' to get his £8 is just an alien concept so he in effect misses out on the whole £10:rotfl:.

shy-but-need-help

Our oldest is 13, we pay for her drama & theatre classes, and we give her £4 a week to go skating (she gets it the weeks she skates, doesn't the weeks she doesn't) and then she gets £25 per month (paid to her every pay day) which she knows she needs to budget any extra things she wants from it. We buy all her essential clothing (same as we always have)- if she wants extras just to be fashionable then she needs to fund it. We also put £10 a month on her phone - again, if she uses it more than that she funds it (we put £10 on to keep her in the plan with alot of free texts and some call time)

Our middle 2 (age 8 and 7) we pay for their dance classes, both have a magazine subscription each. Both then have £10 a month to spend as they want (8 year old choses to play lego universe, 7 year old buys all sorts of odd stuff)

Youngest two (age 4 and 1 tomorrow) don't get anything yet- we just buy what they need.

Granny also gives them pocket money- she works on a system of what school they're at £1 for those not in school, £2 for first, £3 for middle school and £5 for high school. The little ones save for holiday spending, middle ones dip into it when they want something big and save the rest for holiday, oldest tends to use it to buy books and holiday spending

Darlyd

Not heard of Parent Day.

She defiantly put's the whole £10 a week on her finger on the Monday, I have gotton a print out, and They are going to give her one every Friday. I remember looking back when she started there, head of year told us Dinners are roughly £2.20+ (depending on hunger of child). I can just imagine my Daughter having seconds some day's, and she moans she has a belly :eek:. I will say to her Look £10 a week for the next week or so, see how this gets on, We are unable to give you more as we feel you need to work for it. ? She also has money for guides £2.50 a week, + £1 a week for youth, + £5 a week for skating on a Saturday eve. -- God I feel a mug.

She does have 2 bank accounts, 1 is a savings account which my parents kindly set up for her (she has way more than me and my parents put together in there lol). And I set a bank account up for her when she was born but there is only £3 in there :mad:( I really do need to start saving). I don't feel she is responsible enough to have a bank card to able to draw money out herself just yet, same with a house key, Would love her to have a house key But so weary. (even though she has looked after her school locker key hmm).

Ok I will draw up a plan for her to do. I will be honest she is not that great of a washer upper (purposely I do not know) SO If I say to her to dry and put away dishes daily, keep her room tidy daily, put her own clothes away once washed/dried/ironed, Dust and Hoover upstairs once a week, & hoover downstairs once a week? And I will put £10 coins on the window, and each time she does not do this I take £1 away? She can save money well herself, I will also tell her what ever she has saved for her Switzerland trip I will match it .

There maximum they are allowed to take is £150, They are also off to Disney Land Paris for a night on the way back.

shellsuit

darlyd wrote: »

Not heard of Parent Day.

She defiantly put's the whole £10 a week on her finger on the Monday, I have gotton a print out, and They are going to give her one every Friday. I remember looking back when she started there, head of year told us Dinners are roughly £2.20+ (depending on hunger of child). I can just imagine my Daughter having seconds some day's, and she moans she has a belly :eek:. I will say to her Look £10 a week for the next week or so, see how this gets on, We are unable to give you more as we feel you need to work for it. ? She also has money for guides £2.50 a week, + £1 a week for youth, + £5 a week for skating on a Saturday eve. -- God I feel a mug.

She does have 2 bank accounts, 1 is a savings account which my parents kindly set up for her (she has way more than me and my parents put together in there lol). And I set a bank account up for her when she was born but there is only £3 in there :mad:( I really do need to start saving). I don't feel she is responsible enough to have a bank card to able to draw money out herself just yet, same with a house key, Would love her to have a house key But so weary. (even though she has looked after her school locker key hmm).

Ok I will draw up a plan for her to do. I will be honest she is not that great of a washer upper (purposely I do not know) SO If I say to her to dry and put away dishes daily, keep her room tidy daily, put her own clothes away once washed/dried/ironed, Dust and Hoover upstairs once a week, & hoover downstairs once a week? And I will put £10 coins on the window, and each time she does not do this I take £1 away? She can save money well herself, I will also tell her what ever she has saved for her Switzerland trip I will match it .

There maximum they are allowed to take is £150, They are also off to Disney Land Paris for a night on the way back.

I'm sorry, but why should your daughter have to work so that she gets money to spend on school lunches?

Even school have told you they are at least £2.20 a day and you're only giving her £2 a day and want her to work for more money?

She's working hard in school, isn't that good enough?

She gets £8.50 a week for activities ~ why would you feel like a mug?

It's not like she's spending it on crap is it?

jackieglasgow

So she's getting £8.50 a week pocket money already, I would start for just a week or two by cutting this back if she doesn't play ball(if she really wants to go skating she will pull her finger out and do what's asked of her!) then maybe up it a bit if she does the minimum required plus a bit more (tidying your OWN bedroom should not be a paid chore, IMO)