Pocket money (merged)

Dustykitten

DS1 (15) gets £12 a month direct into his bank account - that is how much his footie subs were a year ago so when he stopped we changed the Direct Debit over to him. We pay his phone - only uses it to call us or to arrange cricket/golf matches. I buy clothes and toiletries so that is 'pin' money for golf balls/tees/snacks etc. He is a referee and from his first 'wage' I said he should save a % upto him but to always take that out immediately. So far he always has given me a third of what he earns which I put in a separate bank account for him. It came in handy over the summer when he had no matches but could use the reserve funds.

pinkshoes

My parents did this with me and my bro (and I saved money, he spent it!).

They got us to write down how many new items of clothing we'd (realistically) need in a year (not including school uniform), how many pairs of shoes, make-up etc... and approximate costs.

This amount was then divided by 12 to form a monthly allowance (obviously regulated i.e. 20 miniskirts a year was not realistic!). I think it was about £30 a month, which was 15 years ago, but that did have to pay for EVERYTHING.

We then could spend it on whatever we wanted, so by buying cheaper clothes or finding bargains, we'd have more money left over for other things.

serena

After an argument over clothes a few years ago - I couldn't afford the designer labels!! - I started giving DS1 a clothing allowance monthly, along with some spending money. I think he was about 14 when I started. At first he had £15 a month (I buy shoes, school uniform, underwear, one phone top up a month, haircuts...), and I've increased it each year. Once he clicked that it would take him 4 months to save up for a particular t shirt, he became a very canny shopper - TKMaxx, Oxfam, ebay etc!:p

He has had £20 EMA during the 6th form, and I shall continue paying that during the holidays, and until he manages to get a job or JSA. The EMA bonuses have been split in half, half for him, half to save.

DD and DS2 also on the same system.

I usually give them the EMA weekly, and the clothing/fritter money monthly. Currently, DS1 -£25, DD - £20, DS2 - £15.

I am a bit of a soft touch, and now that I have extra money available, I do tend to be reasonably generous - not however if you ask DD! Must get her a spending diary...:rolleyes:

Lunar_Eclipse

DO IT!

My parents did this with me when I was a teenager and I will do the same when my girls get older. I think it's a good idea to include the phone top-ups and a toiletry allowance too so that they learn to budget and that life is essentially about choices. Budgetting, handling money and bank accounts are key life skills. The financial risks are minimal and doing it whilst children live at home means you should be reasonably aware of what is going on and can discuss alternatives with them should the need arise. A vital skill for anyone going off to university too, where budgets are normally very tight!

Twenty two years ago I got £15/month, which was to include toiletries. I also had a part time job to fund my social life.

My children are currently almost 8 and 9 and get £3/week. This is for everything except clothing and food. Thus magazines, books, toys, day trip souvenirs, the occasional fizzy drink if that is their choice etc. They are free to spend it as they wish and I never have that constant nagging 'can I have ...' scenario since it is always their decision, as my spending is mine. DH & I do also lead by example with a (monthly) discretionary allowance which we tell them is our pocket money! They see us spend, browse and save up just as we expect them to do, often more for their benefit than actually needing to save up. Yesterday I found a lovely ring for £1.95 at the Museum shop which was very tempting but I didn't buy. The girls didn't buy anything either, a rare but good choice! (how much crap do they need?)

Pee

I would say have a good talk about it and then give it a go. If it doesn't work, you can go back to the current system - but be prepared to be hard and say no, you can't have any more money... The sooner people learn the value of money, the better for them, and better he wastes £5 on sweets than a £100 on something the first time he gets paid.

oystercatcher

My parents gave me monthly pocket money to include a clothes allowance. This was , oh thirty odd years ago I seem to remember getting £20 a month and I learned to manage money very well. I've never paid a bank or credit card charge in my life! (Or maybe I've just been lucky)

My boys had monthly pocket money from around age 12 onwards, I didn't include clothes in their budget as they aren't interested and would just live like tramps! They had to buy all their own computer games, phone top ups, sweets going out whatever. As they got more sociable and I felt they 'needed' to go out then I increased to what I thought was reasonable and affordable.
DS17 now gets £60 a month which also has to fund the petrol for his moped so it's not a lot and he has ended up very short of money due to excessive sweeties bought instead of taking a pack lunch to school!! He's learned though and is now budgeting nicely
DS18 is now off to Uni in three weeks and I have no worries about him managing his student allowances as he's proved he can be really good with his money!
DS 20 has been working for two years now and saved enough to buy a brand new car outright and has a nice deposit for a house tucked away so think he's got the idea too!

Valli

I have talked to him about this and (not surprisingly) he is keen!

DD is too but as I said it's not her I am worrying about.

I really, really appreciate your comments so far and will read any more that come in...

The consensus of opinion (and I have read Martin's Teen cash guide and have a copy saved on my PC) seems to be that it will be a very good life lesson. I think I will include a bit for toiletries too.

I think if he DOES want any more money than that he'll have to work!

oystercatcher

Just wanted to add that I tried the paying children to do chores thing ages ago but it led to them refusing to help unless paid for it which was annoying and expensive.
More recently though I have occaisionally given occaisional, unexpected, extra financial reward for help and kindness above and beyond the call of duty IYSWIM . This encourages them to help but without expecting to paid for it.

Katie-Kat-Kins

I think paying a monthly allowance is a great idea and a brilliant way to get them budgeting.

I'd suggest that you don't include basic toileteries that you will get with the groceries, shampoo, soap, antipersperant etc (otherwise you may just find yours vanishing) also you wouldn't want to make them go without these things if they run out of cash.

It should include enough for their usual hobbies, their out of school clothes, phone top ups, social activities, any extra items like lynx, hair gel, computer stuff, snacks over and above their school lunch, presents for friends etc etc Probably best at first to keep school lunch money, essential travel etc out of this in case they don't cope.

I'd sit down with both and help them work out a budget, which includes putting a bit away for presents and treats. That way they have confidence that they have enough and don't go mad at first.

You will have to be strict if they want more and make sure you say no.

If either really struggles you could probably change it a bit so that they are paid weekly or part weekly and part monthly or so that you keep back their saving money to help out for a while.

The idea should be that if they need more money they need to get a part time job.

KiWi13

just wanted to say I think what your planning is a good idea. It's reasonable (and very realistic in these times) to want the kids to grow up knowing what money is really worth and not just expecting to be able to get things as and when they want it by running to mum and expecting a handout.

When I was younger my mum gave me a couple of £ in my hand and if I wanted more I had to work for it. She had system of each chore around the house had a different worth and I would get money according to what I did. Although looking back I was soon polishing and dusting maybe 2 times a day and expecting paid for it LOL but it made me think twice about buying some things as I realised how much "work" I had to do to earn the money.
Still think that to this day when I'm out shopping.

My brother got away with a little more and didn't end up doing as much but he went from spending money like there was no tomorrow to watching his spending as soon as he was having to earn it and realised how much was involved in earning it to just throw it away on crap.

good luck hope it helps your DS get with it.

K