Don't know where to turn

milliemonster

Hi Megan, all the advice given so far is spot on, please please hunny don't make any rash decisions, it sounds like you are at rock bottom but believe me, the only way from there is UP.

As you are married, whether your hubby likes it or not, he has to support you and help you, that is his JOB as your husband and you need to make him see how seriously this is affecting you now.

Please please keep posting on here, let it all out how you are feeling, no one on here will judge you, there are many with less debts than you but so many with much much more, have a read through some of the diaries on here that are so inspirational and the change in people from when they first come on here, once they have a hold of what is happening and know their rights and what the solutions open to them are.

I promise you hun that there is a solution to this (and is not taking your life, you are too too precious to lose) but first you need to find some emotional strength to get it all down on here by filling in your SOA, that's the first step and its a really hard one to do, but I promise that the load slowly starts to lift from the on, it's little steps, but you will have a bright future, let us help you

sending all my love xxxx

natsplatnat

Hi Megan!! :wave:

Welcome to the forum - and possibly one of the most friendly and helpful places in the entire world!!:j

I just wanted to stop by and give you a big hug and say that there are heaps of lovely peeps on here who will generously share all their thoughts, ideas and experience with you.

Me? I'm not that wise yet, but will pop back to see how you are doing and to pass on encouragement and the odd hug when you need them!

chevalier

my comments arein blue

meganr wrote: »

I don't know which way to turn. Then you have come to the right place, we will help anyone who is in debt and needs help. And there is always someone on to help.


I am not sleeping, I am throwing up I am so desperate. If you can't sleep or keep food down, is you OH not worried about your health. Can you not say that this is all due to the stress of having the debt?

My debts started in 2006 and I owed around 76,000.00 on loans and credit cards. But what was this spent on? Stuff for the house, food, holidays? If the answer is yes, then sorry your husband bears some responsibility for helping you spend this money, so he can get off his !!! and give you some help. If you have a mortgage and you went bankrupt, then he will lose HIS home too.... something to boot him into gear.

I owe Capital One bank 4,000.00 and my bank First Direct say they cannot help and just want me to sign a document saying that they have first take on all my money. Don't do this, as if you make them a preferential creditor you can't do a debt managment plan.

I consolidated some on a bank loan for 36,000.00 in 2006 and just received a statement saying that I have paid off 10,000 this but I cannot carry on like this. So you have paid a third of the loan off in 2 years, that is incredible. WELL DONE. If you have been overpaying though, now is the time to say I can only pay the set rate not any overpayments. Was the consolidation secured on your home?

I have only 13.00 per month to live off from my salary. My husband refuses to help me, he has his own bank account and I have mine,his attitude is its your bed you must lie in it

what an arrogant, selfish, cold hearted bar**ard. What happened to for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health. If he loved you then he wouldn't let you suffer like this. It is REALLY REALLY sick.
quote]

For the time being I would write to each of your creditors telling them that you are having financial difficulties and that you are awaiting appointment with CCCS Payplan (whichever one you choose), enclose a £1 token payment. And then cancel all direct debits and standing orders, and phone one of the free Debt Free Charities
good luck
chev

moongarden

Just to echo the good advice above.

I was in exactly your position when I found this site and I would say now that it saved my life really. I am now less than £1000 in debt and its going down every day. It is possible and not as hard as it might look from this end.

Step One
You have already done this. Step one is realising you have a problem and asking for help. Round here we call it your "lightbulb moment".

Step Two
You need to arm yourself with the exact truth of the matter - don't be afraid - start gathering your paperwork and put together a SOA (statement of affairs).
Even if all you do before Christmas is arm yourself with a big ringbinder, some file dividers and a hole punch then you will have taken the second big step. Spend some time over the holidays setting up an area where you can work and store your paperwork.

Doing something practical will help. Ensure all letters are opened and filed. If it helps to distance yourself you could pretend you are doing some secretarial work for a friend.

If you have a computer then get set up with a spreadsheet to track where you are (SOA) and a budget - there are some templates on here. Set up some folders for saving the correspondence for each creditor.

Step Three
Post your SOA on here and let people give you specific advice. Buy lots of stamps!
Work through the advice given.

A couple of other comments: these companies will be closed over Christmas and the people who work there won't give a hoot whether you owe the company money or not. Take some time over the holidays to look after you, take some exercise - if you can go and climb a hill or walk on a windswept beach with a friend then do it. The fresh air and nature will recharge your batteries. (in bold as these are very important)

When I was in your position I was offered anti-depressants by the doctor. This is purely a personal decision but I didn't accept them as I was worried that they would make the situation I was in seem more comfortable and therefore make me have less urgency to get it sorted. For me the tide turned after 6 weeks - I had a plan, i had a budget and I could see that I had made a small impact - I had regained control and boy did I feel better!

Please feel free to PM me if you want to chat.

looktothefuture

:T

I just wanted to say THANK GOD FOR THE MSE'ers today! You've really banded together to help a new friend overcome her feelings of insecurity and hopelessness!!

You are all :A 's in disguise!

pania

hey megan good to see you are back... You're little green light gives it away!!! hope you are ok hon. xx

JayJay7777

Hey Megan

My debt is slightly bigger than yours, by around £30k so dont panic!

The best thing I did was speak to Payplan, throughout the whole process they have been superb!

Your creditors will be gits and try and heap as much pressure as they can, dont panic though if you havent got it they cant do anything about it.

Follow the advice on here and speak to a debt charity, but please dont go with any company which you have to pay a monthly charge for they are just making money out your situation.

Good luck and all the best, I guess I am lucky as my OH is supportive but if you are not getting that from home use this message board instead.

By posting on here you have shown that you dont want to do anything silly and I am glad! If you want you can come to mine for Chrimbo, my OH cooks the best Christmas dinner going!

Damita

Glad to hear we are helping *hugs!* You're OH should help, you are partners together in life so why not the money side..

*hugs*

pania

Have heard from megan, shes still around so please keep the help coming. You are all stars. xxx

mumoftwins

pania wrote: »

(waves to mot :wave:) hello stranger...

Hi Pania :santa2:

Good to see you back on here too!!

Been popping in for a quick look on and off for the past few months but this thread really got to me and I just had to post and let Megan know she's not alone.

Hope you're ok and that you have a lovely Christmas xx