Don't know where to turn

meganr

I don't know which way to turn. I am not sleeping, I am throwing up I am so desperate. My debts started in 2006 and I owed around 76,000.00 on loans and credit cards. I owe Capital One bank 4,000.00 and my bank First Direct say they cannot help and just want me to sign a document saying that they have first take on all my money.

I consolidated some on a bank loan for 36,000.00 in 2006 and just received a statement saying that I have paid off 10,000 this but I cannot carry on like this. I have only 13.00 per month to live off from my salary. My husband refuses to help me, he has his own bank account and I have mine,his attitude is its your bed you must lie in it and I have no-one else to turn to. He won't consider an IVA. I have no friends to talk to as I don't go out and I am considering taking my own life as I don't know what to do. Can someone please please help me I feel so helpless and alone.

pania

megan. i'm just about to post a long post so stick with me ok. huge hugs sweetie.

taplady

meganr - (((hugs))) to you. I think its rotten that you are not getting any support from your husband. I suggest ringing CCCS or citizens advice for financial advice and perhaps the samaritans as you are so low. Martin lewis (I think)said there is no money problem that cant be sorted. Its only money, your life is so much more important.
I'm sure that someone more knowledgeable will be along soon to offer you some more help.

mumoftwins

Hi Megan,

Welcome to DFW! You have come to the right place here as you will get loads of useful advice and lots of support.

Firstly, don't worry as you not alone. Secondly I would suggest that you approach a free debt counselling service - there are some listed in a sticky on the main DFW page - or contact the one at the bottom of my message.

You really need professional help with this. Noone should judge you so don't be afraid to make that call. They will take the worry away and leave you something to live on each month.

No doubt someone will come along with more good advice but in the meantime - make that call.....before Christmas and let the professionals sort it all out .....then sit back and have a lovely Christmas.

Lots of love

MOT xx

looktothefuture

Awww sweetheart, there is some light at the end of the tunnel - it may not seem like it right now but with the help of some of these awesome people on this site, you will get the support and guidence you need!

Post up an SOA (Statement of Affairs)!

You WILL be ok!

pania

ok. Welcome sweetheart and how glad am i that you have found us before you tried to take your life. You sound so incredibly down and that soo needn't be the case.
Hon, take a big deep breath for me, breath in through your nose really deep ten times and back out again and feel safe that you are here amongst like minded people now that can help you out, having been where you are now.
That £13 per month, rest assured we can help you have oh so much more than that! whether that is through cutting back on where you are already or increasing your income through the little things.
The impact your OH is having on you MUST STOP. you cannot allow that much of a detrimental effect on your health love, you really can't. Can we ask where the 76k came from? is there anything that was jointly bought for you and OH? in which case he has to pull his head out the sand and if not assist you then atleast support you. Have you spoken to him about how you feel?
before dealing with any financial issues, i'm going to say please please go to your doctors, see if you can get some support from them. Feeling like you want to take your own life and vomiting has crossed the line from feeling down into depression sweet and you need some help with that. even the listening ear from the doc will provide you immense relief to get it off your chest.
when you feel calm enough, sit down and work out a list of what you have coming in each month and what goes out, we call it an SOA around these parts. this one gives you an excellent template... www.makesenseofcards.com also include though if you can any available balances on credit cards.

Have a massive hug hon, we are here to help. stick on these boards and you will feel better and make strides ahead in hours. I'm going to send you a pm too. when you see a 1 next to the private message box on the top of your screen, double click on the words private messages and it will take you to your inbox.

Lots and lots of love
Pania
xxx

Buffythedebtslayer

Its frightening Megan but its not worth taking your life. not at all.

Your husband needs a kick up the !!!! for being so damn unhelpful and you do have friends you have us now.

When you say you have 13 pounds left I am assuming OH pays for food/bills/house? or do you manage to make a contribrution there too? Are you creditors ok with what you are paying? Are you behind in payments?

I would go with ringing the CAB and if you like people here (like Pania) are brilliant at looking your Statement of Affairs (incomings and outgoings)and helping you sort out where your money is going.

Please post again, you have come to the best place for these sort of problems we all look after each other here. Its ok, we will help. People are so knowledgeable and encouraging you will absolutely feel better

Love Buffyxx

mumoftwins

Hi Meganr

Have just read Pania's post and totally agree! Yes, do make the phone call to a debt charity but also make an appointment with your GP - don't be afraid to open up to him/her it won't be the first time they have heard this. They may prescibe you some medication to help you combat this depression - please do take it as it will help you to cope and that is what you need rtight now xx

doodledo_2

Hi Meganr and welcome to the board.

I can only reiterate all the lovely advice you have received so far.

You will never be alone as you now have all of us lot to help you on your way

pania

(waves to mot :wave:) hello stranger...

pointypenguin

Megan

The people on here will give you lots and support and advise so I hope that helps.

If you are feeling so low you are considering taking your own live you can call Samaritans or email them (details below) to talk to someone in confidence that will not judge you.

08457 90 90 90 jo@samaritans.org

Good luck I hope things get better for you.