Don't know where to turn

meganr

What is a Statement of Affairs? Can I really just send a pound to my creditors? What is the worse thing that can happen if I cancel my direct debits?

Miss_314

Hi Megan.
Statement of Affairs calculator can be found here :

http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html

Basically, you just list ALL of your incomings and outgoings for the month, including all of your debts and the minimum payments. That'll show all of the great people on this board exactly how much money you have every month and where it's all going and then they'll be able to help you see where you can go from there. For things like "birthdays" I think you just work it out as 1/12 of the annual cost. Just choose MSE format at the end and then copy/paste to this thread x

Good luck x

RAS

megan

So glad you re-posted.

You need to contact one of the debt charities listed here http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/loans/debt-help-plan#help

And complete this income and expenditure form.

http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html

Given you OH's attitude, it may be harder for you to do, so you might want to check your monthly DDs for utiltiies etc, then halve it, assuming that is how you work things?

If you pay all of something joint and he pays something else, make a note of his contribution at the end of your SOA in the anything else bit.

What we need to ascertain is how much you need to live on, what you have and then how much spare there is towards paying your debts.

We also need to know if you have any shared accounts and if you rent or mortgage.

And we are not going into worst things becuase they very rarely happen.

smallfish_3

Hi Megan, Pania said you were still around and we shoud keep the encouragement coming so just wanted to add another voice to the lovely crowd who've already shown you what a wonderful forum this is. You're in good hands now so even tho they can't wave the debt away with a magic wand, their support and advice on how YOU can beat it, will be a great Christmas present - Good luck on your DFW journey :j

Silaqui

Hello Megan,
You are so in the right place, everyone on here is fab (yes you lot I'm a bit of a lurker but don't think I haven't read the good stuff you put down ).
You have done amazingly well to pay off all that so far in such a short time, I wanted to say congratulations you have already made the first big steps.
Far more knowledgeable people than me will be along soon with some advice - definitely post your SOA ASAP from the link given as people can sometimes spot things to help much easier than you can, its a fresh pair of eyes I guess And its great to hear the advice from others. There are ways of making things more manageable.

Echoing the thoughts of others though - you do need to get your husband onside - unless the whole amount has been spent on handbags, shoes and tampax or is from before you were together then some of it has to have gone towards the family. And even if it isn't his, he should still support you. (If that comes across as preachy, it isn't meant to).

Best of luck xxx

natsplatnat

Hi Megan - you are in good hands now RAS is around!!!

Pobby

Hi Megan. I don`t normally post here but I read on a regular basis. I am so glad you have come here. The love and support of so many here makes me feel humble. You have found a great place. Hang on in there. You are cerainly not alone.

sparky0107

Hi megan,
Welcome to MSE. Hope you're feeling better hun, and from the fantastic advice you're getting so far you wont go wrong. From the advice you were given by moongarden,

Step Three
Post your SOA on here and let people give you specific advice. Buy lots of stamps!
Work through the advice given.

Buy your stamps at superdrug, they're offering a discount on books of stamps again, not much advice I know but it is a little cost saving.

Once again a very warm welcome to the fantastic place that is MSE. Keep posting and we'll help you through XX

sunshine38_2

Hey Megan

Just wanted to stop and say "hello" :hello:

How are you feeling? You've had some wonderful tips/advice already and I'm sure your head must feel like it is swimming. Take your time to re-read and then deal with what you feel most able to cope with first.

Do you know, I think you are extremely brave. I had to see my doctor on Friday because I'd been having some really scary thoughts (about not wanting to be here any more). My doctor was lovely and yes, I'm taking medication now (I had depression after having my babies so I'm no stranger to having the medication before) and I know that it will help me cope. When you feel more able to cope you will find it easier to deal with these challenges. The lovely people here will help you deal with each hurdle - just keep on posting please.

I say that you are brave, because you really are. I wasnt brave enough to admit on here just how much I've been struggling to cope - because you have, I couldnt "read and run" as they say. I know how bleak things can feel.

Sorry, I'm all emotional and not offering anything constructive at the mo, I just wanted you to know that you are not alone in the way you are feeling. There will be a way to get through this ... it's just a question of finding the right path for you sweetie.

More big virtual hugs for you :grouphug:

Sunshine x

Buffythedebtslayer

Sunshine what a lovely post and you are brave too.

megan have you come back yet hon bit worried here.

I think if you cancel your DD's, well nothing will happen immediately.

I would open a basic bank account for your wages/income and work out Precisely what you owe and to whom.

then you can do the pound thing and see the CAB or speak to CCCS.

Please post again lots of people here waiting to help and give virtual hugsxxxxxxxxxxxxx