**Daily Chat Thread Mon 21 Dec 08**

skint_spice

Bunnyinthelights wrote: »

For those of you asking-losing the weight DOES not help. I did it and was even more miserable-I lost 4 stone after DS and was equally miserable.

I thought you'd said you'd lost it before but wasn't sure.

So have you a plan, a way forward to a happier Bunnykins?

jinky67

Bunnyinthelights wrote: »

For those of you asking-losing the weight DOES not help. I did it and was even more miserable-I lost 4 stone after DS and was equally miserable.

which proves that weight is not an issue:cool:
so forget about that side of things and try and figure out what it is that is making you unhappy:A

spud30

lennymfo wrote: »

Hey should i bring some moose milk to manchester? Hey would all be shedded by 5 And it be cheap

It wouldn't be cheap for you :rolleyes:

Is Manchester ready for Lenny's moose milk

ZTD

Bunnyinthelights wrote: »

Right
I whole heartily agree with Luc and Jinks re. self love etc. in fact, I *try* to adhere to it-I wasn't always such a needy person....


I went from being a successful, bright, attractive person (read thin) with the world in front of me-anything I put my mind to I achieved, easily. (Im not being big headed, I was just like that)

I had a happy marriage, a lovely home, a good job, etc etc etc

Then I got pregnant and all my dreams seemed to be coming true-I has always wanted kids, we had planned and got pregnant quickly-life was good...until hormones came into play.

I gained stone after stone in my pregnancy, was unhappy and if I had noticed, was depressed. I felt 'out of control' for the first time in ymlife-my spending spiralled, my weight spiralled and I was so unhappy. I felt ugly, ungainly and not 'me'.

Are you sure you weren't always such a needy person? Or was it just that your needs were being met. i.e. you were thin, and getting the attention you desired.

So during pregnancy you gained weight, you then felt unattractive, so pushed people away because of that desire for reassurance/testing that you and Snaggs alluded to earlier, which made you feel unwanted, hence the desire for external distractions and the destruct spiral.

Bunnyinthelights wrote: »

I carried on-spending eating, unhappier and unhappier with each day-but no realising.

Then DD was born, beautiful, healthy and a good baby-what did I have to be ungrateful for? DH was (is) a perfect father, helpful etc but I was getting more down-it took me until she was 5 months to figure out I was depressed.

I finally got kind of back on track and promptly fell pregnant again-this time as above but soooooooo much worse.

So, I have a beautiful happy, healthy family and I wasn't that vibrant smiley, optimistic Bunny I used to be-I was a fat, frumpy hormonal Mum. I didnt have anything I excelled at-then I had to tell DH I had managed to spend my way into astronomical debt.

So...self esteem? Well, I lost it. Somewhere in becoming a Mom and not 'Bunny' anymore...

But did you really ever have it? It seems your happiness then was very fragile and it just took a small hit to crack it.

Bunnyinthelights wrote: »

I'm slowly gfetting there but the person my Dh sees now isnt the person he feel in love with.

That's good. Because he isn't the guy you fell in love with. Life changes everyone - that's inevitable. The only thing you can do is to try to make it a change for the better. A stronger Bunny, not a fragile Bunny.

Bunnyinthelights wrote: »

I know I need to get back to being 'me' again but these pesky hormones seem to have other ideas-so I seek reassurance-please tell me Im who I used to be....

Doesn't matter who you used to be. It matters who you are now.

Bunnyinthelights wrote: »

Well, this was depressing. Sorry for the ramble. Did it make sense?

Yes, it does make sense, but you need to stop harking after the past. Those days are gone forever, and actually, you don't want them back. They were a painting. Nice, pretty, but no real depth and oh so fragile.

System

spud30 wrote: »

It wouldn't be cheap for you :rolleyes:

Is Manchester ready for Lenny's moose milk

Are you ready for Lenny's Moose Milk (oh that sounds rude, I hope it doesnt offend anyone )

spud30

lennymfo wrote: »

Are you ready for Lenny's Moose Milk (oh that sounds rude, I hope it doesnt offend anyone )

I'll have a bloody good try matey :beer:

Buffythedebtslayer

Bunnyinthelights wrote: »

For those of you asking-losing the weight DOES not help. I did it and was even more miserable-I lost 4 stone after DS and was equally miserable.

trouble is I really don't know what will,

job - yes I was !!!! at it and now that is how people see me, ok that is how the head sees me and I hate him so hey can deal with that. I know I don't want promotion and I LOVE tutoring. PLus which if it gets too bad at work I can leave!

friends - yes practically every single one of my friends is married or in a relationship or has had a relationship and has kids. But that doesn't make them bad friends (boring occasionally) and I have had a wonderful few nights out with them recently and can always call them if I need them.

family - yes there are problems but I am getting out of debt and learnign to drive so that is good and will change things. and I do love my family.

relationships - big area of hopelessness. men do not find me attractive and I don't honestly think the 3 stone extra helps!

I know its shallow. I know I am more than my weight but the first impression I make is of a short fat person who frankly repels men.

but if by some miracle I lost weight and still no one fancied me :eek:

kathfisch

Hello

Long time no chat... those of you who remember me!

Thought I'd drop in and say hello. All this talk of self esteem is really striking a chord with the way I'm feeling at the moment. No helpful insights I'm afraid, just hello again :hello:

Kath x

Bunnyinthelights

Good question-
Well, positive thinking, get active.

See the good things, concentrate on them.

You know.

jinky67

lennymfo wrote: »

Are you ready for Lenny's Moose Milk (oh that sounds rude, I hope it doesnt offend anyone )

sex life again?????:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

i might have to put you on ignore lenny:p