Advice Needed for a 19 Year Old With Nothing

Peekay32

Make sure the guy stays out of the way of the predators who will try to make moves on him, i.e. loan sharks, dealers, etc.

Sarah147

A lot of charities like the NSPCC and Barnardo's have leaving care/first move/housing wings that help people like your friend. I would advise you contact your local charities and ask their advice, they will probably be able to help. Hope all goes well, lovely to see so many selfless people on this thread willing to muck in too. Well done everyone, gives you a bit of faith in humanity

onetomany

when i left care i recived a community care grant from ss, and a grand from the dss!

tesuhoha

Thanks to everyone.

Well, what's happening is that he is getting a furniture grant. He's filled out the form and is handing it in tomorrow. I asked him exactly what he needs this morning and it seems that its the bigger items of furniture, a sofa, curtains (which I can give), a fridge freezer (which he really wants because at present he has to use expensive local shops daily or walk long distances to the nearest supermarket. He also wants a cooker.

He has some relatives in the North and they have invited him for Christmas. He is going up there on the bus tomorrow. They are also going to give him lots of stuff, bedding, pots, pans, cups, plates etc. and he is getting a lift back. Thats what he has told me but I'll believe it when I see it as no one has ever given him anything before and last Christmas he went to a friend's house for Christmas dinner.

Right now my husband is helping him move his stuff out. He has taken the van because it has a roof rack and there is more room in it and he can help him lift the bed etc. He has a large coffee table which we saw last year outside someone's house with the notice, please help yourself on it. So I put it in the back of the car and he took it with him. Anyway, there is no power at the flat so it is a matter of him dumping his stuff there and sorting everything out after Christmas. He has spent the last week sleeping here so I imagine he will be here tonight. He is not sorry to leave the hostel because he says that the other people are there for a reason and its usually because their parents can't cope with them. I don't know the reason why he has ended up there because he is lovely.

I dont know what was said about him/me on this thread but I can imagine. This is someone who has been in care since he was 12. He is at college doing music so I fear there will be no job for him, although I think he would like to do a degree. He has applied for part-time jobs but he looks so scruffy, his hair needs cutting. He does not look well. He is also a bit proud about taking things. I once bought him a few bags of shopping and although grateful, I could tell he was embarrassed. He does not like asking for help. I told him I would take him to look at furniture but he went off by himself. He is a very nice person, but I think he has his pride. He is grateful for the help today and I can help him up to a certain point. I will certainly remind him about the tv licence but he is pretty mature and knows the importance of paying his rent first. I have told him to get a copy of his front door key cut so that we can keep them for him as he is always losing his keys. I will do my best.

Oh he also says he has tried Freecycle as I mentioned it in the past but that they want something offered and he has nothing to give. I asked if they knew his circumstances and he said he told them but they didnt seem all that interested.

I want to wait till after Christmas to see what he actually has and how much the grant is so I can take him shopping. Ikea has cheap stuff too. Also to see what help he gets. Its difficult because I don't want to appear too interfering and don't want to treat him like a child.

fizzel81

i still have some bits and bobs if he wants and the drive is not too far

got a double bed and new matress
a fully working computer
odds and sods of kitchen stuff, new trays a sandwich toaster but to name a few bits x

tesuhoha

fizzel81 wrote: »

i still have some bits and bobs if he wants and the drive is not too far

got a double bed and new matress
a fully working computer
odds and sods of kitchen stuff, new trays a sandwich toaster but to name a few bits x

That is a fantastic offer thank you. I'll wait till after Christmas though if you don't mind to see how he's fixed. Thank you.

tesuhoha

onetomany wrote: »

when i left care i recived a community care grant from ss, and a grand from the dss!

Well, if he gets that he shouldn't have too many worries. I'll talk to him to see if he knows his rights.

tesuhoha

RAS wrote: »

Nothing amongst these?

http://www.freecycle.org/group/UK/South%20East

Yes there is. I must have been looking in the wrong place. :rolleyes:

paybacktime2008

Without going into too many details I had a relationship with a man who had gone through the care system. It is admirable what are you doing to help him. I'm sure you are aware it isn't just practical 'stuff' he needs and it sounds like you and your OH are prepared to 'support' him long term. Good luck to him and to you. It's unimaginable to anyone who has grown up with a loving and supportive family, to realise just how different it can be for someone in care.

Happy Christmas.

Burlesque_Babe

I've not experienced how the grant works, but if it is pure cash, how about getting the stuff on ebay? I had to replace my TV this week and won an auction today for a 28inch fully working silver bog standard TV for £2.31 today from someone who lives nearby. Freezers etc go for very little as they are only available locally for collection.