Depression Support Thread

budget_budd

I am so jealous of everyone. I have to pretend I am happy all the time. I feel sick inside. I have forgotten who I really am or it was scared out of me by others. I work hard for nothing, barely keeping the roof over our heads, surely there should be more to life, or maybe death is better.

geminilady

absolutebounder wrote: »

Well christmas is gone and as Sssssss says you got through it and some might have enjoyed it and others hopefully it wasnt as bad as you thought it was going to be. new years next and a fresh year is time for a fresh start. 2009 can be a lot better if you want it to be.

However one thing concerns me. Does any one know what happened to Miroslav? has anyone heard from him? I think his absence is a little worrying.
Oh and with a bit of luck Tiffs mum is better.

I am also worried about Miro after his last post.Somebody did post saying he had been having internet problems and had aquired a girlfriend,it did not add up somehow but i will apolagise if i am wrong.Miro if you are reading please post to say you are ok,you have a lot of concerned friends on here.

geminilady

budget_budd wrote: »

I am so jealous of everyone. I have to pretend I am happy all the time. I feel sick inside. I have forgotten who I really am or it was scared out of me by others. I work hard for nothing, barely keeping the roof over our heads, surely there should be more to life, or maybe death is better.

((((hug)))) Sorry you are feeling so low,any particular reason?Nobody is happy all the time so do not think you have to pretend.I can empathise with you feeling you are working for nothing and there are a lot of people in the same boat so please don't think you are alone.

Sugar_Coated_Owl

Hi Shaz I am OK thanks. It's nice that the boys get on well with him Hopefully you'll all be able to go out again sometime.

So many people are ill with colds atm. I hope you fell better soon.

Sssssss It's good to see you back How was your Christmas?

Miroslav If you're reading this please post to let us know you are OK.

Budget_Budd Has something happened to make you feel so down?

BizzyBek

Budget_Budd - so sorry to read you are feeling so low. Why not let your thoughts out here. We care.

Sssssss

budget_budd wrote: »

Ive had enough my head is so confused, I don't want to be like this anymore, I can't see things getting any better something is always going to happen when I start building myself up again, I hate myself. I am a waste of oxygen.
I am not meant to enjoy anything.
WHY DO GOOD PEOPLE DIE

Hi budget, this could have been me writing the same thing last year at the height of my depression.

I'm no expert but can only share my experiences with you, first look at the postive in your post 'you don't want to be like this anymore' 2009 is only around the corner, new year new start maybe

Things do get better but yes also sometimes worse, but it's these moments that help us get stronger to deal with them next time, I had the worst year ever 2007 to the point I wanted to kill myself, but now having been through it I feel much stronger.

I see from your other posts you have kids, well they are the best, I know if it wasn't for my son I would not be here today, think of all the good things you do for them and how much they need you. I don't think they would agree their mum is a waste of oxygen.

Please take care.

KentishLady

Hi Guys

Just popped in to wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy(er) 2009.

Hope you all had a good time with your loved ones.

We have only just got back from "up North" to spend time with DH's brother's family (hence the delay in my seasons greetings!). Am glad to be back home and to be honest I probably could have done with having a rest instead of traipsing to Yorkshire and back as I feel so drained it is untrue!. On the other hand with us losing one brother so close to christmas it made it even more important DH spent time with his family.

Only a few more days now to the new year. It HAS to be better than this year so I am just going to view it is a fresh start.

Tiff - I hope your mum is feeling better. Big hugs.

KL.

Tiff_2

Hi guys!
I hope we're all in fine fettle this evening folks.
I'm sending a Tiffy to our new clan members notsosharp, mandi and doelani. You're all very much welcome here and your posts are much appreciated. I'm sure the lovely guys here have made you feel at home.

Thank you all for your kind thoughts and wishes for Mum and I, guys - I'm honestly humbled by your messages and they really mean a lot to me. It's so lovely of you all to take time out of your holiday to hug and support a Tiff.

My brother took me to the hospital to visit Mum on Christmas night. Yes indeed, the Tiffster has siblings - but that's a whole different course of therapy!
I'm the eldest, then there's my sister who's 2.5 years younger than me and finally there's my brother who's 6 years younger than me. Personally, I think my parents should have stopped at the prototype!

She was so happy to see me, as I was her. Mum said and they'd had a really nice Christmas lunch. The nurses had been lovely and were so friendly and funny. I told Mum about our little thread and about you wonderful people sending their love and support to us both and she was all teary and smiley and was sincerely deeply touched that you guys would do this, especially as you don't know her. Mum made me promise to say thank you very much to you all. So from Tiffy's Mum - and from Tiffy - thank you all very much for your kindness. Your messages mean more than you know to both of us.

I felt too rough to make it to the hospital yesterday. Sadly, tonight she's no better, bless her. Mum's still on oxygen, plus they've got an 'air' mask for her and she's also got a nebuliser and another mask around her and drips and meds, so there's a lot of wires and equipment etc around her. She hasn't slept for 4 days now. She manages a few minutes of catnaps but then her breathing is waking her. She's getting more and more confused because her brain is being starved of oxygen.
She's had a rough day today. She's trying to be brave and positive and everything is ''When I go home...'', but, - God I don't quite know how to describe it - she sounds so weak and tired and unconvincing when she says it. We're staying positive with her but it's so hard, iykwim? I'm sure you can understand what I'm trying to say despite my weak attempts.
I'll be going to see her tomorrow with DS, so I'm hoping for an improvement of some kind that shows she's going to survive this. It all takes time I know, and hopefully the meds will make a difference soon.
God, I'm sorry for the length of this guys - I didn't realise.
I'm so glad to see everyone here seems to have survived Christmas some kind of way - I knew you could do it, guys!
I know this thread's not all about me and I'm not the only one who's found the holiday hard, and so I am sending Tiffy hugs out to all those who are struggling. Please hang in there, peeps.
Try and take comfort in the fact that nothing stays the same, everything changes and those changes really can be good ones. Everything is heightened at the moment and it's natural that if you were already low, then you're likely to be feeling a whole lot worse right now. But trust Tiff, it will change and no-one's life is going to be constantly negative. If you can, start to look for the really simple positives - like birds singing or a favourite food or piece of music for example - they'll all start to add up and you'll begin to notice even more. Just as no-one becomes instantly negative, no-one becomes instantly positive either - you have to look for it.
And yes, before you slap me with a soggy Brussel sprout, I know it's not going to be easy, but try and hang on to the survivor that's inside you.

I wish you all a really lovely holiday weekend and I'm thinking of you.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

slowlyfading

(((HUGS))) to you Tiff, I'm glad you're still here. Things must be tough, I'm thinking about you xx

shazrobo

(((big hugs))) tiff, and lots extra smarties for you,
shaz xxx