Honestly - tell me how painful childbirth is!

Nikabella

I had my DD nearly 2 years ago & I didn't find the birth painful apart from a little discomfort really. I was in labour over 22 hours & we spent most of that time chatting.

After my waters were broken artificially at 4cm dilated I laid down & sort of drew into myself, got into the zone & had a little sleep for 40 minutes. I was woken up by my body trying to push on its own & I gave birth 40 minutes later, having dilated the extra 6cm in the 40 minutes of sleep!

I did not find the experieince humiliating as we spent 99% of the labour on our own with the midwife coming in once I told her I was going to push - now. I didn't open my eyes or talk at all during the end of the labour so I wouldn't even know who my midwife was (they had changes shifts)! I found the whole experience very personal & barely noticed anyone else was there.

Now we are planning number 2 & logic says that I should be really relaxed about the idea of giving birth again as my first experience was so pain free but I am in fact the opposite. I keep worrying that I obviously missed out on this horrendous pain & that next time will be really bad as the first birth must have been a fluke.

BTW my daughter was 8lbs5 so not small!

debtfreein4years

im looking forward to getting pregnant.

dont know how im going to feel about the pain, but i know i dont want a c-section but other than that im quite happy to have every drug going lol

gxx

manda1205

Its obviously very different for everybody, but my labour was horrendous!
I got to hospital 4cm dilated got given pethadine, midwives just flittered in and out, this went on all day till I demanded an epidural, when they did this I got the urge to push but they wouldnt listen and said they had to carry on, he then proceded to hit a nerve in my back making my leg jump irracticly. I wanted them to stop but they wouldnt. Then once it was all in place, the urge to push went and I stayed 9cm dilated with nothing happening. This then went on into the evening when finaly someone came in to try and use suction and forceps, still couldnt get her out, so in the end had to have a c-section!
This was terrible too, stuck in hospital without OH cos theyd only let him in at visiting times.
As you can see I hated the whole labour thing, pain and the way hospitals are run! Needless to say no more children for me, and I pity anyone who has to give birth in the hospital I had to!
BTW this was 4 years ago and the pain and the whole experience is still fresh in my mind!
This is not the only reason I dont want any more kids though, I love my daughter with everything I have, but I think 1 is enough and I want her to have my full attation and bring her up best I can!
Good luck to OP though!

bestpud

Broken_hearted wrote: »

At risk of a slap from others. It was nothing much at all, never had anything other than a bit of gas and air. Have very quick labors anyway, no damage, give birth have a shower then a meal not even tired at the end of it.

You always get one you want to poke in the eye with a sharp stick don't you...!

tiamai_d

DS1, an induction at 35 weeks. 12 hours of drug-induced irregular contractions with an epidural that provided no pain releif (I had pre-ecclampsia and my body was so swollen the epidural was to control my blood pressure and would not work for pain releif, nothing would).

Contractions are painful, but not a pain you can imagine. It comes in a wave, sweeps over you then goes away. It takes your breath away and you can't form a rational thought except 'keep breathing'. In between contractions I feel asleep, was wonderful.

To be honest, it was not anywhere near as painful as everyone told me it was. And I have had the nasty comments that I am lying and that really it was horrific and I just forgot. Most painful was having my waters broken when I was not near dilated enough.

Breaking my toe was worse!! That was a pain that lasted for days and didn't go away at all!!!

DS2 was horrific. A nasty emergency c section, lots of bruising, lots of horror afterwards, PTSD.... I'd give birth to DS1 every day for a month before I would [STRIKE]have DS2 ripped out of me[/STRIKE] give birth to DS2 again.

Tinka21

When I had DS1 it was quite a long labour and I think the worse part was being so tired! Didn't have any pain relief as didn't really need it. Like someone said earlier you get into the 'zone' almost!
With DS2 it was really fast and found it more painful! I only had some gas and air though and preferred to concentrate on my breathing instead of doing anything else.

Also i didn't find child birth humiliating at all and i am a very shy person! I couldn't give a toss if Prince Charles was stood at the bottom of the bed providing he could help get the baby out!

I am a wimp but i did it twice and would probably do it again as well!

sarymclary

I've had 4 babies. 3 natural births, which I can honestly say I rather enjoyed, especially No.2. I had DS3 by planned c-section due to him having an 'unstable lie'. That was completely pain free afterwards, but inconvenient because I wasn't allowed to drive for 6 weeks. I also felt much more tired afterwards, which wasn't ideal with 2 other young boys.

Before having DS1 I was too young to have even had a smear test, so flashing my foof to a doctor was alien to me. I had the same fears as you, but realised that the trust you put in the midwives and doctors just helps you forget to be embarrassed. You don't get examined 'down there' generally speaking prior to the birth anyway. Ante natal appointments deal with testing your urine, blood pressure, baby's heartbeat, measuring your bump, etc. Once you're in labour, it will seem perfectly normal to then be examined - and they do it only a few times to check dilation of the cervix. So, probably 3 times for me as I was 3cm on admission to hospital, went to 7cm, then was fully dilated.

I had such a good experience with my 2nd, that I stayed friends with my midwife, and she is now godmother to my 4th son, and was my midwife for his birth too.

I would recommend educating yourself on the actual 'mechanics' of birth, so that you understand what your body's process is, so get a few books to read. I found it quite fascinating, and I am absolutely convinced that my positive attitude, and acceptance that what was going to happen would be natural helped me cope enormously.

I found that during stage 1 (contractions) of labour using breathing techniques to control pain was invaluable. Stage 2 (pushing) lasts a relatively short time - I think about 15 mins for me. I recommend doing your pelvic floor exercises to help with that! I was encouraged to be as active as possible during labour, was offered ideas for positions to sit, kneel, lean in, which helped not only with pain, but to aid progression quicker. I'm not a big girl, and only have size 3 feet (it is relevant, my Consultant asked me because I am small, since it relates to frame size, therefore pelvis width), I barely scrape 5', but my boys were all good sizes: 7lb 9oz, 9lb, 7lb 11oz and 9lb, respectively, and I coped with breathing techniques, then gas & air.

I don't know if I was just lucky, but I had wonderful pregnancies which I thoroughly enjoyed, and I found the births of all of them to be positive experiences. I'd never held a new born baby before I had my own, and wasn't exactly a very 'mumsy' person, but I have to say that becoming a mother, and having my children has been the most wonderful and rewarding experience, and the greatest achievement of my life.

mspig

I have three kids - 1st labour went quick(4 hours from first contraction) - it was uncomfortable but not very painful, i was told to have a hot bath(as hot as i could stand it), it was lovely i felt no pain atall whilst in it, i then went down to the labour ward and had an epidural(full one) so no pain atall after that - on the embarrassing side i couldn't stop throwing up all the way through giving birth(not good when i had esten curry for my tea).

2nd my waters broke but no contractions started so they took me in gave me a full epidural and was induced - we were sat playing cards on the bed when the midwife came in to get something for the woman next door, she said"i'll have a quick peep and then ran out and came back with another midwife, it turned out my sons head was out and i hadn't pushed or felt it - it was 20mins from being induced - however because he came so quick he tore me to shreds(i had 8 different rips that had to be sewn up) i also haemorraged, it was mad in the room as there was so many staff trying to get fluids etc into me, trying to stop the bleeding and i was in and out of conciousness(hubby thought i was a gonna, he sat crying in the corner holding the baby).

3rd time - i was taken in due to the probs with number two to be induced, i was taken to the delivery suit(this was also the 3or4th time i had been to the hospital to be induced but each time there was no room etc) this stuck up midwife came in and said "the doctors brought you in to be induced but i don't agree with the reasons so i'm refusing to do it, so you'll have to go home" after me refusing to go home and asking to see the doctor i was sent up to the maternity ward, where i waited in the day room for 3 hours until one of my doctors associates came to see me, who said that they will induce me and found me a bed - my hubby was told to go home for a bit as they wouldn't be taking me down for a few hours, once he left the doctor came and asked ot do an internal examination she then stood up right and said "right we've induced you"(the midwife in charge went mad at her telling her she shouldn't induce people in the ward, anyway they took me down to the delivery suite(no hubby) and told me to sit on a chair - i asked to sit on the bed they said no you can sit in the chair, i was then left alone for just over and hour, then a trainee came in and asked me if she could try to feel the babies head as she hadn't managed to feel one before, i said no at that point she left and it was another hour before someone else came back, i had asked for an epidural which they did but they only gave me the half one(i wanted a full one) - My hubby arrived after nearly 4 hours in the room on my own when someone remembered to call him, lets just say 7 hours later my son still wasen't put the epidual lept running out and the midwife didn't have any gas and air in the room (so she said), in the end i refused to push until they gave me the gas and air and called the doctor, which they did and once he had arrived took the bed apart ready for using foreceps my son came out all on his own.

I'm just glad that my labours didn't go the other way round or i would only have one son.

Toothsmith

For me - the worst bit was when Mrs T.S. REALLY dug her nails in!

That was sore.

hayley11

I'm glad somebody posted this...i'm trying for a baby and was wondering what it was like for other people too. I was with my sister when she gave birth to my niece, she was in labour 82 hours (they were trying to stop it because she was so early) and it did look pretty painful.

Somebody said...sorry can't remember who...that when somebody asks what labour is like, "all the horror stories come out" But I don't think any of these are horror stories, they are just saying what happened to them. Doesn't mean that's whats going to happen to me (or you).

After reading threads like this (and the pregnancys best kept secret one) I just feel more excited about having a baby. I don't know if that's weird