Honestly - tell me how painful childbirth is!

fattyc

We are about to start trying for a sprog of our own. Please tell me honestly how painful and humiliating childbirth is. Mum and sisters say "oh, you forget all about the pain when you see their little face", but am sure they are lying. It must be horrifically painful???? That is the only thing putting me off, I'm terrible with pain, and the whole experience is freaking me out. Am I over reacting, am I abnormal???

Krystaltips

I once read somewhere... It's as much pain as the body can handle without passing out....

I didn't think it was as painfull as that... But it did hurt... But I got over it... And now expecting number 2... I didn't forget the pain but I'm willing to go through it again...

Ephemera

Hi there,

I haven't had any kids but my Sis has six, nearly seven...and both parents work...!!!!!

If the discomfort is worrying you, then there are some things to consider trying...

Breathing exercises
Visualisations
Hypnosis
Relaxation exercises

I mention these as I qualified as a Hypnotherapist and will certainly be considering hypnosis myself as a method of making the whole experience more pleasant if/when I decide to have children. There will most likely be info a your local library, or have a chat with other Mums to see if anyone can recommend anything or a good therapist if that's the way you want to go...

Hope that helps, and if you have any questions at all on how it works or what questions you should ask of a prospective hypnotherapist please feel free to PM me.

Eph x

hamstercheeks_2

everybody is different. my mum had all of us - no drugs at all.

I had a difficult time with both my boys - very long labours. My sister had an easy time - so as I say just cos your sis had it painful doesn't mean you will.
In this day and age there shouldn't be anything painful about childbirth. Go with the flow but I would definitely recommend an epidural.

I'm not good with pain at all but it was more exhaustion with the lengthy labour.

Good luck and have fun trying lol!!

jackomdj

It is different for everyone & different for each pregnancy....but like everyone says if it was that bad you would not do it again.

Personally I think make a birth plan but be flexible & if you need some extra pain relief accept it - remember the midwives deal with it every day.

DD1 was back to back & I was in agony, tens machine took some of the pain away. 2 hours after getting into the hospital I had an epidural & it took the pain away, although I suffer from a bad back & had an awful pain in my back.

DD2 I was over 4cm dilated for a week before she arrived (no paid but they said they could break my waters using their fingers she was so low (sorry TMI)), when my waters broke we went in & they said to OH to stay as it would happen quickly, 18h later, about 6cm dilated & still no pain (people kept coming to look at me as I was a bit of an oddity!) they had to give me an antibiotic jab as my waters had been broken for so long, they started labour with some drug & a very painful hour later DD2 shot out!

Don't let the pain factor put you off they are worth a few hours of pain.

HTH
Nicky
(Mum to Ellie 4 & Katie 20 months)

fattyc

For those replies. True, it cant be that bad if women keep doing it more than once. Its more the humiliation factor, the midwife, doc etc, not to mention my other half seeing me lying there with my legs in the air, not very pleasant! It takes me months to gear up to go for a smear test!!!

Am I being pathetic!!

skylight

Just had number 5. The first was with an epidural the rest gas/air. Short labours. My shortest was so quick that I didn't even have time to abuse the OH and it was a lot of pain in a short period of time (less than 5 minutes for all of them with the really "harsh" stuff).

Yes it hurts. Yes it feels like nothing you have ever felt before. Then suddenly you get past the "pain barrier", baby pops out and you really do wonder if the pain you felt a few minutes previously actually really happened.


And we are women. We are built to cope/last/manage etc. And it proves that if god existed, then he is definitely a he - as a she would have stuck with the stork idea! LOL!!

Nicki

It is possible to have births with not too much pain, provided you are happy to have pain relief in hospital. I had a planned c section with my first child, so no labour, and the pain after the birth was really well controlled. No worse than mild period pain, and only when the next lot of pain killers were due. With child number 2, early labour was like moderate period pain, easily relieved at home by a warm bath. I went into hospital after my waters broke, and my contractions were about 5 mins apart. By this point more like severe period pain, but only lasting for about 30 secs at a time. They offered me an epidural, which I took, and had no more pain, until the very moment of giving birth to the head, which was probably the most pain I've ever experienced in my life, but only lasted about 1 minute. The piles and stitches afterwards were the most uncomfortable thing of the whole birth experience!

The mums I know who have had horrendous birth stories have all either gone in with plans to have a completely natural birth and given up after long painful labours (so have been exhausted and disappointed with themselves as well as in pain), or have laboured for a long time at home, so got to hospital too late for pain relief to be administered.

It is possible (I'm told!) to have an OK natural birth btw, but if you know in advance that this isn't your thing, the pain relief that can be offered is excellent. Even if you think you'd like to try for a natural birth, I'd always recommend keeping an open mind on the subject as especially with the first, you have no way of knowing what its going to be like and how you're going to cope in advance.

oystercatcher

You're not abnormal or over reacting, lots of women are worried about the pain. Some so much that they actually develop a phobia about it and need serious counselling.....

It's actually very hard to predict how painful it will be. I've seen women come in saying they are really good at coping with pain and they won't need anything and then be 'totally floored' by how bad it is. Other women in come in saying they want everything available as and when needed and they get by with a quick whiff of gas and air.

I believe that fear makes the pain worse, so research everything as much as you can, look round the hospital etc (when you are pregnant) so it all be comes less scary. Read lots of books so you know what is likely to happen and make a very flexible birth plan. The women who plan a natural birth with minimal intervention and no pain relief are the ones who end up needing all sorts of technology and feeling disappointed and maybe guilty that they 'gave in' and needed an epidural.

We're not demons at the hospital and if someone needs pain relief then it's there.
The best pain relief you can have though is a supportive partner, someone there to rub your back, pass the water mop your forehead etc etc.

It's not that bad , most people go back for a second 'dose' if not a third.....

Try not to worry too much in advance, first thing is to actually 'make' the baby !! Have fun !!

Oystercatcher
(Baby catcher in real life!)

smileykylie_2

They were talking about this on Radio 4 today quoting a recent study. I think this is a link to the story ( i say 'think' cause it may not work!!!)

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/3699357/One-in-six-mothers-remembers-the-pain-of-labour-five-years-later-as-being-worse.html

hellies

I feel for you- this was all i wanted to know when i was pregnant with dd1, lol!

I will be brutally honest:

With dd1, It started with crippling period-like pains, which got worse and worse until I was rolling around on the floor. Then I had an epidural and it was painless!! 2 and a half years later I had dd2 and had tokophobia (fear of childbirth) for the duration of my pregnancy, which for me was about the pain of the baby actually coming out, as I had not felt that with dd1 due to the epiduaral. When dd2 was born I had a similar labour, except for an ineffective epidural (had been put in wrong) so I had the contractions(with which i was crying like a baby and thought i was dying!) and my 'down there region' was not completely numb. However, I did not feel anything more than pressure down there, and can 100% honestly say that the trauma was forgotten instantly.

I do not abide by this womens law of never telling a new mum the horror of childbirth, I coped much better the 2nd time just for knowing what was coming. When I had dd1 i was traumatised for days afterwards, i think because I had never in a million years expected it to be so bad. when i had dd2 i was laughing and cracking jokes when they were stitching me up and putting my womb back in place, lol!

Please do not worry, it is a whole new experience that you can never imagine until you have done it, and your body (and mind!) will cope like you never thought it would. I was so petrified of having dd2, but now i would go on to have 10 more... if only i could afford it :rotfl: !