Honestly - tell me how painful childbirth is!

foreversomeday

I am completely rubbish with pain. I cried like a child when I slammed my finger in a door last year! My fiance thought it was hilarious :mad: I'm also completely needle-phobic and phobic of wasps and things like that because I just hate pain and am a complete wuss.

However, I gave birth to my DS with just Gas & Air, I can't explain it except fot that cliche, it's a completely different kind of pain and you simply do not know how you will react, normal pain tolerance levels don't seem to have any bearing on how easy it is to cope with labour.

Condensed birth story highlighting pain levels (for me):

Booked home birth with the knowledge always in the back of my mind that if I couldn't cope, hospital and my epidural (!) was 5 minutes away.

Went into labour in early hours of Friday morning, felt like bad period pains accompanied by a sort of itchy pain across my lower back. Within a few hours, couldn't cope with contractions without moving about. Within 12 hours, had to have someone rub my back or apply pressure through contractions. Used TENS machine as was told by everyone I asked that it was brilliant and they couldn't have done without it, after 24 hours of using it, ripped it off because it seemed to make the contractions more painful.

After 48 hours of contractions with no more than a 9 minute break between the furthest apart, saw a midwife who showed me how to breathe through contractions, found it made them a LOT easier to cope with and less painful, but the pain was making my body tense itself and I had to control that, too. After 48 hours with no sleep this was very difficult. Was advised by midwife if I really felt I couldn't cope due to exhaustion that I should go into hospital for pethidine to help me sleep. Didn't want to go in because I had a pool at home but wasn't dilated enough to be allowed in it! She mentioned that the pool at the hospital was free. Decided to go in like a shot, looking forward to my sleep (but not the pethidine injection)! :rotfl:

Arrived at hospital, midwives were so lovely, monitored for 20 mins, they said I was now 4cm and what did I want to do for pain relief. I was still thinking about an epidural but asked about the pool, they transferred me into the pool room, advised me to hold off as long as I could. I spent 90 mins walking around, on all fours on the bed, then got into the pool as I couldn't breathe through them any more. The pain of these ones kind of takes over so you have to be in control of your body which I was finding hard because I was so tired. Once in the pool I felt instant relief and was able to help my muscles relax, felt elated! After a few hours I started using the gas and air which means my memory of it is quite hazy. The funny thing is at this point just as you think, god, I can't do this much longer, the contraction ends.

I spent a long time pushing because it turned out my baby was in a bad position, and yes, ok, the actual pushing/head coming out was the worst pain ever, it felt like I was splitting from one hole to the next :eek: and probably lasted 30 seconds but felt so long. It took me 6-7 pushes to get the head out, but I later found out it was because baby's arm was by his head and that usually requires forceps or ventouse & is also rare, you will be pleased to hear!! Most people take 1-2 pushes for the head and it lasts 5-10 seconds. I can tell you all this because when it comes to it you will forget everything anyway. Also, I was scared before the birth of having an episiotomy (cut) but at the time I was screaming for one, lol, I did not care at all. The other thing is that although the pushing stage is horrible it's the only bit of the whole birth I felt *I* did and I knew what the progress was, the rest was my body. It's also bearable as you just focus on meeting that baby.

Actually being stitched up afterwards (I had a little tear, because of his arm, but apparently people who give birth to babies with arms by their head usually tear a LOT worse, so I think the water helped me avoid tearing.) was so much worse than giving birth lol.

My advice to you would be possibly:
- book a home birth, because that way midwives will come out to assess you and you won't have to go back and forth to the hospital to be checked, told you are in early stages and sent home, lol.
- Do a course if you can afford to (NCT ones are good & non specialised).

But definitely:
- Read up about active birth, hypnobirth, and relaxation techniques.
- express interest in a waterbirth, most hospitals and nearly all birth centres have got pools, you feel much more private, your partner can get in with you if he takes his swimming trunks, and if it all gets too much you always have the option of getting out and having an epidural or pethidine. You can use gas and air in the pool. You can also wear a tankini top (& bottoms for a while lol) in the pool if you want to.
- Stay at home as long as you can
- Stay off your back. If they want to monitor you, or you are tired, lie on your side. Pushing a baby uphill is generally harder and more painful.
- Have an epidural if you want one! It does not make you a failure, it's totally your choice!

Dave_®f©

I'm only a mere man but imagine it would be like crapping a bowling ball :eek:


Good luck when it all happens...

*shudders*

JoolzS

I knew someone many years ago who was sterilised as soon as she could be after the birth of her first (and only) child because she never wanted to risk going through the pain again. A close friend of mine had complications from her epidural - she lost her sight for an hour or so and then went into what was essentially a coma for 48 hours after giving birth.

I curl up and cry with period pains, so one of the (many) reasons I am childfree is the thought of the pain of giving birth.

Julie

IWasWondering...

I am, so one my friends told me, one of the lucky ones.
I experienced totally pain free childbirth when I had my son (normal delivery).
Gas and air + Tens + Pethodene (Wonderful stuff! Whoever invented it deserves a medal.)
It was hard work, all that pushing wore me out.
And it's not humiliating - it's undignified (IMO).
So try not to worry, and should you decide to go ahead, Good Luck, I hope all goes well.

natalie1974

I am passing this message on from my OH , he states it no more painful than falling off a bike , us women just make a big song and dance about it in the hope of getting more sympathy from our OH's . Well all i can say is we will see how painful his testicles are once they have been squashed between 2 house bricks , personally I reckon it will be no more painful than a paper cut

liney

The worst thing about labour was being given a Spinal Block as i was prepared for an emergency c-section. fortunately i had a forceps delivery in theatre, but the spinal block ment i couldnt move for litterly hours, and hours. I never wanted an epidural - the thought of being injected in my spine and the possible complications scared me to death, so the spinal block was most unwelcome.

I don't actually remember the pain of labour, but i know i will not be having another child after being in hospital 4 days prior to birth for induction, a dreadfully slow labour, being rushed to theatre, spinal block, forceps, cracked coccyx, lots of stiches....... no way i'm doing that again.

But again, i don't actually remember the pain, it's the while experience that i am not willing to repeat.

ginvzt

I can't believe no one yet suggest you read this thread:

Pregnancy's best kept secrets

Someone said that teenagers should be made to read it - there would be many less unwanted births. It is well worth a read - and even after all these stories, I still want a baby...

SarahNeedle1872

I have to say, no horror stories here about the birth...... DS was 9lb 3.5oz, and I only had gas and air. I decided when we did our pre-natal classes that I didn't want an epidural (don't do needles!) so that was the only thing I did write in my birthing plan! Good job I didn't in the end or I would have had to have an emergency c-section
The best thing we did was an active birthing class (cost £10) because they showed you ways of managing your pain yourself.... for example, what worked for me was being on all fours and swaying my hips with OH rubbing the small of my back. I spent most of my time in labour doing that..... it hurt more when they eventually laid me on the bed for the snip, if it hadn't have been for that, I would have been stood up when DS was born.

I would say, listen to your body and decide how much/little you pain relief you want from there. As for the embarrasment, don't worry about it, they've seen it all before! The midwife was chasing after me with a sheet because I kept trying to go to the loo in the nip! I was high on gas at the time!

bestpud

Princess_Jane wrote: »

My grandma who is 87 had my mam at home and says she "screamed a bit, but it was alright".

She sent my granda out for a walk with a stack of banana sandwiches during the birth and reckons the midwife came round once a week afterwards to pour boiling water and disinfectant on your "bits".

With family tales like this it's hardly surprising I am 30 and planning my first child in about ooooo 10 years

Ouch! :eek:

bestpud

I think there are too many variables involved to work out how it will be for you in advance, so, as said, just try and work with it and you will be fine. Humans would be extinct if it were that bad!

One thing I have noticed with this thread though, is most talk of the 'instant love and melting moments' when the baby is born. While I am sure it is like that for most women, it is not for all, and not because they are bad mothers or anything like that either.

For some women it takes a while for that love to grow and I'm mentioning this not to put you off, but to make sure there are no new mums, or mums to be, reading this, and thinking they have, or will have failed, somehow if they don't feel that much talked about rush of love.

Have a good time in Florida!