Money for having children?

Lillibet_2

I would second Matt's post, totally the same for me, I perserved but I would never ever blame a woman for not doing it after what I went through! Good for you Matt for sticking up for your partner, you sound very supportive & understanding:A My Hubby was the same, upset that I was upset & in pain & tried everything he could to help me, including inventing his own minced cabbage leaf poultice:rotfl:(it didn't work but I loved him for trying:dance:) I'm sure half the reason teh medical staff were so unhelpful was beacuse they expected me to give up. It was thanks to a wonderful person on these forums that I was able to keep it up as she talked me throguh the diffcuilt times, sometimes day by day!

mattt44

Lillibet wrote:

I would second Matt's post, totally the same for me, I perserved but I would never ever blame a woman for not doing it after what I went through! Good for you Matt for sticking up for your partner, you sound very supportive & understanding:A

Thanks, but an angel I am not.

I do remember now you say about cabbage, the frozen cabbage leaves as breast pain reducers, about the only thing we had to laugh about then. Always reminded me of that mermaid with a shell bra

davisneil

Just thought I'd tell you of our financial position, just to put into context...

We had Kayla in August, and we too were concerned about the 'cost of having a child' surveys....but remember these 'surveys are usually media groups with nothing better to do on a dead news day...probably the same people who surveyed 100 men who drank 5 pints of beer then 10 pints....and shock horror....their intelligence level went down!! :beer:

Any way, we did the following to save money:

1) Researched all the benefits we are entitled to, as it happens we claim Working families tax credit, and child benefit, which keeps Kayla in milk and nappies, plus a bit of surplus for clothes.
2) My wife is really good with the clothes. She has bought clothes on ebay, etc, and as Kayla has grown out of them, she resells the clothes on ebay, and using the paypal account, just buys new larger clothes and so on. Seems to work really well
3) She works 2 days a week when im off, and i talked to my employer about having a 4 day working week leaving 1 day free to spend time with my wife. But we are now actually looking into getting childcare and claiming this element of the tax credits, meaning she has the option of working a bit more or spending more time with me.
4) How about working as a childminder? You earn money by doing what you are doing anyway. You can become a state registered childminder in your own home. This is something we are also looking into...but remeber both parents and any adults in that house need to pass a CRB check (ie Clear Criminal Record) for this to be approved.
5) I think this has been mentioned, but I bought a 35mm SLR camera for under 100.00 and the pictures I take of my daughter look brilliant. No need for a photographer, also ppl more relaxed for pictures in their own home not a studio. 35mm film still has excellent results, and you can get your pictures on a cd for use on a computer, too. (we use truprint)
6) We use disposable nappies, which i know is bad, but if you can't face dealing with the poo, its wise to get your nappies from special offers in bulk, or, as we do, go to costco/cash and carry and buy 126 of em in one go!
7) Just a little thing we noticed, but if you make changes to your working hours, check your season ticket. I noticed I was arriving in london at off peak times, thus by buying a ticket just to euston then using oyster card (instead of travelcard) i only paid for the journey i needed to make and save 90 pounds a month (travelcard from watford to all zones £250 per month, cheap day return £7.60 plus oyster single £1.00 there and back=9.60 per dayx4=38.40per week=166.40 per month...not bad,eh?)

MrSmartprice

Breastfeed for as long as possible. Much better for them, my daughter never had a bottle at all.

When I was at school there was one lad who always had 2 black lines down the side of his face. Discovered it was from when his mum came and fed him through the school railings at playtime! :wall:

krisskross

Breast feeding seems to go in cycles. When my first was born in 1962 the maternity ward was like a prison camp with the babies kept altogether in a nursery, only given to their mothers every 4 hours when it was feeding time. I can still see one poor woman...her first baby, she used to start crying about half an hour before it was feed time. I looked over at her while she sat with tears pouring down her face while she tried to feed the baby. The baby had all blood round her mouth where her mother was bleeding. I cried as well but it took several of us absolutely bombarding the staff and saying we would feed this poor little mite ourselves before the nurses would give in and let her be bottle fed.The mother was so demoralised there was no chance that she would even consider using a pump for a few days then trying again. I am so happy to read how much attitudes have changed.

10 days we had to stay in after the birth and the final touch of sadism was an internal examination before you were discharged......I had loads of stitches and this was the most painful thing .

I have fed all 4 of mine and for convenience and lack of cost it just can't be beaten. However bottle fed babies thrive just as well, and Dad does get to have a go!

across

financially whatever you decide youll adapt to what money you have and WILL survive so dont worry about cost we've been on one wage for four years now and we are still eating!!
as for the feeding you do whatever suits you it is an individual choice nobody puts pressure on you either way when i had my first i knew from the start i wanted to bottle feed and the midwives were very nice and my girls are no different to anybody elses!!
very best of luck!

becky004

MrSmartprice wrote:

When I was at school there was one lad who always had 2 black lines down the side of his face. Discovered it was from when his mum came and fed him through the school railings at playtime! :wall:

I'm all for breastfeeding. Breastfed 1st for 3 months, 2nd for 8 months but that story is grim! Although 1 of my colleauges a very very large lady told us a story of how her four year old pulled her bikini top down on the beach for a breastfeed!

Karnam

there's a rather scarey loooking breast feeding docu on channel 4 on wednesday, with a girl looking around 8-10yrs old saying "its wonderful people should breast feed forever"....

personally i shudder at the thought of seeing a pre teen breast fed still but im going to be watching none the less!

D&DD

I had the same worries when we started our family.I was the highest earner too so had to go back out to work when first was 4 weeks old as he was late!After second was born tried to juggle but ended up giving in when he was 8 months and worked from home.Went back outside home to work when youngest (3rd) was 6 months through debts but after 2 years and a lot of health probs (them and me) was finally forced to admit defeat.Working from home isn't an option at the moment sadly so hubbie works and we get help through the new tax credits.Stupid thing is we are actually BETTER off..may be a few quid down financially but I shop more wisely, don't have a childminder to pay and best of all I'm here to see the boys grow up.When you actually take off the fares/petrol from traveling to work,lunch money,the childminders fees,the extra shopping money spent on fast food as you dont have time to cook,the 'guilt' trips to the toyshop(I am soo guilty on this one),extra clothes and hairstyling fees, would you be that much worse off?? My best wishes to you and well done for at least thinking about it first! Hope all fits in nicely with your plans XX

ALI1973

The decision to have kids is a tough one, but I think the answer is, you will never be able to afford to have kids lol.

The strange thing is Dh and I always said I would return to work to maintain our finances, and yet as it happened financially we werent that much worse off.

I did breast feed and I was lucky that I found it quite easy (Im not trying to brag), but BF is incredibly draining and especially with DD2 (she would not have a bottle at all). Having someone who can help you get it right is the key.

Also a biggy, try not to get sucked in by the idea that a baby needs everything everyone else has got. With DD1 we bought all the things recommended by the baby mags. a majority were not worth the money. Babies dont actually care if they are dressed in clothes from GAP or not!

As the others say, nappies are cheapest when bought in bulk, bottom creams can be got on prescription from your GP (I never found this one out until DD2). Second hand is good if its clean and been looked after (not car seats though).
I cold water sterilised and used the water after to clean worktops etc.

HTH Love Ali