Money for having children?

BernadetteN

My 4 kids are aged 5 months through to 9 years old and they haven't really meant to any great extra cost until they started doing extra activities.

Our biggest expense is about £800 a year for the 2 older boys who swim 10+ hours a week, and around £150 a year for dancing lessons for the 4 year old.

Our other expense is clothes for which I spend around £400-£500 a year for 4.

Our food bill per week is £120 for 6 of us, hard to determine how much of it is for the 4 children.

When they were babies, I spent hardly anything at all, except for new clothes, which I could have got cheaper at boot fairs.

To repeat other postings, best savings in the first few years are if you :
1 buy secondhand baby equipment or get relatives to buy or donate
2 use cloth nappies
3 breastfeed
4 make your own baby food
5 buy clothes from boot fairs / ebay / donations

Our biggest expense has definitely got to be a LOSS IN INCOME. So far over 9 years, I have lost a potential £100 000 gross by choosing to put the kids first and going part time - working tax credit is wonderful for part timers, even though we don't qualify.

Good Luck

Gingham_Ribbon

The biggest saving we made was by using washable nappies (which was a doddle and I really miss them) and breast feeding. You can buy sealable, washable bags to put soiled nappies in when you're out. Or you can put them in a scented nappy sack to take home. If it's away from your pack up or drinks then it doesn't matter. Lots of changing bags have seperate pockets for this sort of thing.

I gave up work so don't have to worry about the cost of childcare. We got a lot of clothes handed down and bought for us and got a pram that was my neice's. People are happy to get rid of their stuff if you ask around.

Kids' shoes are expensive and so is a decent car seat if you'll need one. But I have a buggy for my son which converts to flat for newborns that only cost #80 so you don't have to spend a fortune if you don't want to.

With the amount of savings I make cooking from scratch, organising the shopping so I buy from 3 or 4 different places, not needing petrol to get to work, work clothes, buying lunch out or using takeaways or convenience stuff because I'm tired after work, we are actually better off than we would be if I was working part time, so look into it carefully.

If you're serious about not over spending on your kids, don't go for cutsie stuff because you think it will look good. I never used a cot bumper or a moses basket or nightlights, fancy bedding, daft gimmicks like bowls that have a sucker on the bottom etc. (Until he could eat off a plate without it being thrown off the high chair (given second hand) he had his food plopped onto the high chair tray and cleaned with vinegar and water afterwards. Less washing up and cheaper than buying things that don't work anyway. (Everyone I know who bought one of those bowls threw it away because it didn't work.)

We've not noticed an increase in spending since our 2 year old was born. In fact, we spend less because we never get to go out!

And I don't really see the point in expensive kids' groups. Local libraries and church halls do lots of toddler and baby activities free or for pennies. And they're just as much fun as the places that charge 3-6quid to get in.

Alleycat

redballoon wrote:

First year = £7,138 - the largest expense at this age is nursery furniture and equipment and child care

Blimey, over £7000!!!! I have just done a quick calculation and even overestimated some stuff like food and it has come out at just under £3000 for our daughter's first year (she will be one on 23rd January!). This includes new furniture, some new clothes (though only cheapish ones, the rest Ebay or given by friends), disposable nappies for the first three months and occasional useage the rest of the year, three or four jars of baby food per week. I have also included nursery fees. Not included loss of earnings at now being part-time, but we are nowhere near as hard up as I thought we would be. Not rich, but we can afford a few treats like takeaways, visiting family (400 mile round trip).

I think you will spend as you can afford. If you really have very little money then you will do okay (as long as you don't have too many massive debts to pay) but if you have loads you will/can spend loads. Don't buy into the must have thing which so many parents find themselves doing. I know there have been some things we have wanted that weren't necessarily that important, it was just nice to have.

Ebay is great for kids clothes, mum and dads may offer to get you a few bits and birthdays and christmas are great for a list of things you need such as clothes, bedding etc. We have been asked by family to write a list of things for dd's birthday and as it is so soon after christmas we have asked for clothes, growbag and vouchers. She got loads of toys at christmas and doesn't need anymore. Places like https://www.netmums.co.uk have nearly new boards for each area, look in your local newspaper for second hand and try the NCT nearly new sales for bargains. You DO NOT need the sexiest pram (we have a tank and a little umbrella fold buggy). £500 odd for one of those bugaboos all the celebs have???

Reusable nappies, making your own food, breastfeeding (if you can) are also great ways to not spend.

Lillibet_2

My son is now 5 months old & having had a quick scout around his room, the only things I can see that we bought new are a car seat & new mattressess for crib & cot (crib was an antique one that my parents used for me & cot was 2nd hand from ebay). These things were bought from new for safety reasons & it is recommended that you buy new for every child, even siblings. However, I am sure that there are some people who don't but personally I wouldn't take the chance. Everything else in there is either 2nd hand or has been bought new by doting relatives & friends! Even the push chair, which muy mother in law bought, is a ex display model bought from ebay for £75(this actually includes the car seat as it is a travel system).

By far & away the biggest expense so far has been the drop in income, only you can calculate if you can afford this. Try living on the post baby budget for a while & see how you get on. Then try factoring in childcare on your estimated part time salary & see if you can still afford this

I have tried washable nappies but so far have really found I can't cope with them (and I am usually super-organized so this was a big shock!) as I am constantly shattered from having a VERY sleepless baby. If he ever gets back to sleeping through the night I will revert to the washables but for now I am swallowing the cost of disposables (about £5 a week for brand name ones which are the best fit with least leaks). You may intend to breast feed but not every woman can, I don't want to open up the breast is best debate so please can we ALL avoid that, just saying it doesn't always happen (I am still breast feeding & it was a HUGE struggle at first, don't under estimate this) If you need to bottle feed formula is about £6.50 a can & one can lasts about a week(ish). I guess what I am saying is don't assume you will always take the cheapest/most ethical option becasue sometimes, with the best of intentions, it just doesn't happen.

The other cost which I hadn't thougth about until recently is the cost of activites whilst you are at home. Mother & toddler groups can cost anything from £1-£5 per visit, baby gym groups like tumble tots are upwards of £5 per class, baby signing & baby music classes are around £4 per class etc. Obviously you don't have to do any of these things & how much you baby actually takes away from them is debatable, but it is good for you to have contact with other mums & for your baby to interact with other chilren. There are limited free activites for young babies, it does seem to get a bit easier as they get to the toddling stage but by then your sanity may have waved good bye from a sail boat:rotfl:

SammyD_2

The two big costs were (as others have said) the drop in income (even if you go back to work as I did, you still have to have some maternity leave), and the massive cost of childcare. I live in outer London and I pay a childminder over £800 a month to look after my two wee darlings for three days a week care. The nursery I tried to get my (now two year old) son into was £1350 a month and that was two years ago. Having had baby two in August 2005, I still had to pay my childminder for my son (or else lose his place with her) and then also was on maternity pay so had a dramatic drop in income.

But I don't believe having a baby is expensive if you are sensible about things...we did what many first time parents do and bought far too much stuff for our son, and most of it new. I wish we had spent much less, particularly on clothes and matching nursery sets! And bear in mind you will get child benefit regardless of income which I find is more than enough to cover nappies and clothes for my children.

There is no "ideal" time to have a baby financially...but if it was about money, none of us would have them. There are some things money can't buy. If your only concern is the money, then just go for it!

stayathomemum

Hi redballoon

Couple of tips I've learnt from having two little ones!

Don't go out and buy everything new for baby. Clothes can be picked up either via charity shops or check out the local branch of the NCT for Nearly New Sales which usually run around March and September. Serious bargains to be had from clothes, equipment and toys. You can also get pushchairs and bigger equipment too but you have to be quick and know what you want.

Have a look at the NCT Website Events for details of all the local sales.

I could have saved a small fortune on things like a buggy. Having said that, I do get 95% of the clothes for the boys via the charity shop / ebay / Nearly New sale route. DS2 wears stuff that ds1 has used. They are only in it for a short time so very little wears out!

HTH
sahm

stayathomemum

Following on from my previous post - just seen the post from lillibet and agree with the cost of activites! DS1 is 4, doing swimming lessons at the local sports centre once a week. Cost of doing that and putting ds2 (2 years) in the sports centre creche is £75 for 12 weeks! My advice is pick and choose your activities!

If you can find a parent and toddler group locally, they are typically £1.50 a week - lots of toys to play with, cuppa for mum and conversation too if you're lucky.

Local NCT also run stuff for mums to be, new mums and toddlers which is either free or very reasonable (and you don't have to be a member either): NCT Events

(I am involved in my local branch of the NCT - great lifeline for me when expecting and now as a mum!)

Alikay

I'm always shocked by these "cost of having a child" surveys - most people use common sense and pay out a lot less. As everyone says,the biggest expense is childcare if you go back to work,or loss of income if you don't. When working it out, don't forget that if you have more than 1 child, you'll still only lose your salary once if you stay home to look after them. So you can have 2 kids for the price of 1! or 3 or 4 for the price of 1!!! If you leave a couple of years between each child, No 1 will have vacated the pram/cot etc so it can all be re-used for no 2 and 3. Bargain!!
Seriously though, going to work incurs costs too (lunches, transport costs,smart clothes,all those birthdays/retirement collections etc etc) so do consider this when deciding whether to go back or not. I stayed home for a few years, so we only ran 1 car, lived in Asda jeans & tops, and had the time to save money on household stuff & food. I got a part-time evening job in a callcentre (OH was at home with kids,so no childcare costs) which topped up our income just enought to manage. Some friends worked twilight shifts in supermarkets, even the ones who'd had good careers. These places are full of mums working while their kids sleep-you'd be surprised how many checkout ladies have degrees!
Living near reasonable schools is also important if you don't want to pay for education. Our local ones are not too bad, but I know its different in some parts of the country.
Good luck with starting a family!

redballoon_2

Many many thanks for all the replies, I nearly knew what everyone was saying, and i suppose there is never going to be a good financial time to start a family! I am going to to the 2nd hand thing where ever (i do that now!) and will make my own baby food and get as many hand me downs!
thanks again to all who posted!

mum26

Hi, we've got 6 children aged 10, 6, 4, twins of 2 and a baby who is one year old today! those are humungous overestimates!


I'm also a cloth nappy agent so if you'd like a comparison quote or any impartial advcie on cloth nappies, just let me know and i'll do my best to save you money