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blacksheep101

pinkshoes wrote: »

Why is everyone being mean and judgemental??

pinkshoes wrote: »

The OP wants to know if her husband can stop paying his ex wife IF she now has someone else living with her. That's a fair enough question, as why should he now have to miss out on that money when she now has someone else to provide for her. She can't have it both ways, and she's already got mortgage free accomodation, which is more than most people get!

Blacksheep, I would check the electoral roles, and perhaps do a few drive bys to see if there's signs of someone else living there!

Thanks pinkshoes - yes I feel some people have misunderstood my question. I have no gripe about my husband providing for his ex but just wanted to know the legal position if the ex has indeed now got someone else to provide for her. Thank you to all who have made helpful suggestions which I have taken on board.

Errata

If the alimony was decided by the court at the time of the divorce, only the court can change it. My reading of the situation is that the alimony was to be paid until the woman got married. It makes no difference if she's living with someone or not.

blacksheep101

cheepskate wrote: »

Got to agree withy loulou, and it does seem from your other posts about your isa's new big telly and holidays that money does not seem to be such a big issue as you are making out.

Not true - have you ever put a child through university? (and another one soon to follow) - plus the ex-wife actually gets more in benefits than I earn in my job.

Masquerade_2

blacksheep

You basically need to check the final Order to check how long maintenance was to be paid for.

It is common for spousal maintenance to cease when a wife has been cohabiting for 6 months or more. However this is not set in stone and depends what was agreed between the parties at the time. It is more common that spousal maintenance ceases when a wife re-marries - not cohabiting.

If the order states that it should cease after six months of cohabitation then you will need to prove it. Your first step should be to seek legal advice. A solicitor will probably initially write to the ex wife and simply ask the question.

Proving it can be difficult and if all else fails then a private detective is probably the answer.

Good luck.

blacksheep101

Masquerade wrote: »

blacksheep

You basically need to check the final Order to check how long maintenance was to be paid for.

It is common for spousal maintenance to cease when a wife has been cohabiting for 6 months or more. However this is not set in stone and depends what was agreed between the parties at the time. It is more common that spousal maintenance ceases when a wife re-marries - not cohabiting.

If the order states that it should cease after six months of cohabitation then you will need to prove it. Your first step should be to seek legal advice. A solicitor will probably initially write to the ex wife and simply ask the question.

Proving it can be difficult and if all else fails then a private detective is probably the answer.

Good luck.

Thank you Masquerade - yes I realise it will probably have to go to solicitors eventually but for now had hoped to save that expense.

Thanks to all who have advised.

Mojisola

Masquerade wrote: »

If the order states that it should cease after six months of cohabitation then you will need to prove it. Your first step should be to seek legal advice. A solicitor will probably initially write to the ex wife and simply ask the question.

The problem is that as soon as the question is asked, she will be warned and willl take steps to make sure that it can't be proved - if it is happening.

Masquerade_2

Mojisola wrote: »

The problem is that as soon as the question is asked, she will be warned and willl take steps to make sure that it can't be proved - if it is happening.

But that will always be the case. Even if you get proof now she may well then ask her partner to move back out to prevent the maintenance ceasing. She won't be able to hide it forever.

Proof has to be obtained legally and through the proper channels. If she continues to deny the cohabitation then a court will have to ultimately make the decision whether it has been proved or not.

Cohabitation is always a problem in cases like this. Cohabitation is not really defined anywhere either. Many cohabitants insist that they only stay with their partners 4 or 5 days a week - is this cohabitation? It can be a very grey area which is why I recommend legal advice in the first instance.

silvercar

But that will always be the case. Even if you get proof now she may well then ask her partner to move back out to prevent the maintenance ceasing. She won't be able to hide it forever.

Too late. Once its proved that she has had a new live-in partner the spousal maintenance ceases. Even if new partner goes she is not entitled to maintenance from ex.

kayaitch

[money does not seem to be such a big issue as you are making out.[/quote]

Money is always an issue - isn't that what this site is all about?!!

margaretclare

I basically feel that my husband walked out of that marriage with just a suitcase leaving her everything else he had worked for all his life, and still has to pay her a large sum of money for support every month.

Similar to what my DH did back in 1997, although he took the old rusty car and whatever he could pack inside/on top of it, including his desk, in bits, and his obsolete computer.

He has never had to pay madam one penny-piece from that day to this. Although he did give up his half of the equity in the bungalow in return for keeping his annuity from a previous employment and she was left with the mortgage to pay.

I cannot see why it is a foregone conclusion that anyone has to pay anyone else long-term when a marriage fails, unless of course there are dependent children, when it's a little different. Your husband should have fought this at the time.