Anyone else just finding it really hard??

famous.last.words

Thank you! thats so what i need to do.
I think my mum paraphrased it as something about about eating an elephant in small chunks! :laugh:

Loz01

When you get an essay/assignment, do what I do and start them ridiculously early. Weeks and weeks before they have to be in, if necessary. Then do a few paragraphs a week - Ive got two 1500 word essays to be handed in tomorrow and Ive just finished them off, having started them WEEEEKS ago, and it honestly hasnt felt like much of a slog at all. Just space it all out.

tr3mor

famous.last.words wrote: »

Sorry, but are you a student? Instead of coming here and having a go at people why not just go away! Sooo unhelpful and unnecessary to be such a jerk!

I graduated 18 months ago with a 1st in Maths from a proper uni. I didn't get the 1st by whinging about things being hard.

I'd much rather be back there now than working full-time. You should count yourself lucky and get on with things.

bestpud

famous.last.words wrote: »

Thanks to everyone for your posts. Contrary to some peoples beliefs i wasnt just coming on for a whine, i dont have many friends at uni and i just wanted to know if i was the only one struggling with with the workload. I have over 13,000 words in assignments due in next week, and i am doing it and doing my best... but that fear of failing despite me throwing everything i have at it just keeps me up all night, i cry inbetween essay writing because i am so scared of letting my family, and myself down.

Ughhh. Its just been a long hard slog this last few months. Loads of other things in life have been !!!!!! (such as my dad being diagnosed with a brain tumour, family deaths, my sisters illness..) and im just completely exhausted. I am SO looking forward to finishing for Xmas. I just need to bolster myself back up i think.

Good luck to you all. So many people will put you down when they dont understand. But keep on fighting, it will all be worth it in the end.

In my experience there is something about academic work that brings out the nervous wreck in some of us. I don't know what it is but some people can take it in their stride and be happy they have done what they can, while others will stress like crazy about it. It seems to make no difference whether the person has ability or not, although it tends it be the higher achievers who suffer most (in my experience).

I am one of those who finds it very stressful, although I do enjoy being at uni (daft as it may seem). I have decided, for some of us at least, it becomes a part of us, and that is why we get so wound up about it. It simply isn't a 'job', but an extension of our worth somehow. Do you know what I mean?

I get stressed anyway, but I can say for sure I am a very different person in the workplace - level headed, calm, nothing phases me etc, and I work (alone so no back up) with people who present some 'challenges'! I have all sorts of other things going on in my life too, but I think I would be the same with academic work whatever tbh.

There are plenty of people out there like tr3mor, who just get their head down and get on with it, but believe me, there are plenty more like you and I, and we all have our place. Some of us just need words of encouragement every now and again, and some don't (or argue they don't in some cases), and if you are someone who finds it helpful to speak with others then don't let those who are simply different (not better, just different) put you off!

You may find you are very different when you do get into the workplace, and have 'proved' yourself by graduating, but in the meantime, I hope it helps to know you are not alone.

Having said all that, I will add that people often want to be back at uni once they have left, and I can't blame - I am sure I will feel the same! Knowing that just doesn't make the pressures of 'now' evaporate, unfortunately!

I hope that helps a bit?

Good luck and keep at it - you are so nearly there now!

surfsister

famous.last.words wrote: »

Thanks to everyone for your posts. Contrary to some peoples beliefs i wasnt just coming on for a whine, i dont have many friends at uni and i just wanted to know if i was the only one struggling with with the workload. I have over 13,000 words in assignments due in next week, and i am doing it and doing my best... but that fear of failing despite me throwing everything i have at it just keeps me up all night, i cry inbetween essay writing because i am so scared of letting my family, and myself down.

Ughhh. Its just been a long hard slog this last few months. Loads of other things in life have been !!!!!! (such as my dad being diagnosed with a brain tumour, family deaths, my sisters illness..) and im just completely exhausted. I am SO looking forward to finishing for Xmas. I just need to bolster myself back up i think.

Good luck to you all. So many people will put you down when they dont understand. But keep on fighting, it will all be worth it in the end.

I'm an undergrad and know how you feel but please don't get so low you have tears, go talk to student support or your tutor ask for an extension to the deadline. Do you have a study buddy? Our uni encourages us to group in twos or threes and have regular meets for study. Not to copy each other but to proof read essays provide support pass on notes missed etc. It nake it so much easier as we can laugh at probs so we don't cry!


Please get it done so you can enjoy Xmas, will be thinking of you!

bestpud

Loz01 wrote: »

When you get an essay/assignment, do what I do and start them ridiculously early. Weeks and weeks before they have to be in, if necessary. Then do a few paragraphs a week - Ive got two 1500 word essays to be handed in tomorrow and Ive just finished them off, having started them WEEEEKS ago, and it honestly hasnt felt like much of a slog at all. Just space it all out.

Oh my word, if only!!

I have grown to hate students like you, but please don't take that personally!

Out of interest, have you always done assignments that way, or is it something you've learnt to do along the way?

astrocytic_kitten

I haven't quite worked out how to quote multiple people yet So...

Bestpud, you've just said what I wanted to say so much better than I ever could. I had a very responsible, highly pressurised job in between finishing my undergrad and starting my MSc, I prided myself on being calm and in control and on top of things at all times, and I always got fantastic evaluations for being so unflappable when dealing with high workloads and constant crises.

So even though I found finishing my undergrad really stressful, I thought that after working I should find going back to uni a breeze... after all if I could cope with that job then essay deadlines would be no problem, right???

Nope! I'm exactly the way I was the first time round and it's a bit depressing. On the bright side I actually look forward to going to work now, even when I've got masses of uni work and really can't spare the time, because I actually feel like a fully functioning human being there instead of a nervous wreck!

famous: hang in there, I think you've done amazingly well getting to where you are and still keeping going with such a fighting spirit! And mutual support's so important, I think talking to people who are also finding uni hard and knowing I'm not alone in it makes such a difference. Good luck

And Catzeyez: I've been thinking of my workload as a sum of words too and silly as it may seem I didn't realise it was really unhelpful till your post. Thanks!

mariajose

Liz_M wrote: »

Sally - I think it might be a case of the worst is yet to come . I hates 2nd year but now all my friends are in 3rd year they tell me it is SO much harder.
I am in my 3rd year but it's kinda a break for me (I am doing languages so my course is 4years and the 3rd year is a year abroad to improve my languages.)

And to OP and all the others who replied:
The work in this year abroad is not hard at all as the main focus is that my language gets better so I can do well in 4th year..but even with the small amount of work I have found things hard because of other issues I have at the moment.
Hearing from my friends about how hard 3rd yr (4th year for me) will be has actually been making me seriously consider quitting, and nothing I tell myself seems to make it feel any better. I think that my problem is lack of motivation - or sometimes I think I am just lazy. I think that I know really (or hope anyway) that motivation is the real issue for me.
For some reason, reading this topic has actually inspired me to work hard and think of the results at the end. I have been trying to think like this for a while but it doesn't seem to work. Maybe seeing other people struggling and getting through give me hope that I can get through it to. Or maybe I'm just thinking now 'wow thats motivated me' and then all the motivation disappears tomorrow. I always tell myself 'right, I'm going to try from now on' or 'this year i will work harder' but it never seems to happen...and I don't know how to motivate myself.
Anyway, thank you for this thread and all the replies, as I (THINK) it has inspired me.

I'm glad the year abroad isn't so bad. I'm in the 2nd year of a languages degree and really struggling - it's so bad that I've been talking myself out of quitting all weekend - just one more week (and 2 oral presentations, a grammar test and 2 written projects - eek) to go then a few weeks off for Christmas and revision - I really need to get this together because it feels like I'm sinking and that I'm way behind everyone else, and where I should be.

I seriously can't imagine going abroad in a few months and having to read/write/speak and mostly, listen to EVERYTHING in a foreign language :eek:

famous.last.words

tr3mor wrote: »

I graduated 18 months ago with a 1st in Maths from a proper uni. I didn't get the 1st by whinging about things being hard.

I'd much rather be back there now than working full-time. You should count yourself lucky and get on with things.

I go to a proper uni too. Not sure what your trying to infer there.

I don’t know what’s given you the !!!!. You didn’t have to come into this thread or comment. I am carrying on, I am working hard and i am getting by. I am just struggling combining the academic and the personal, and i wanted to know if other students were feeling the same. Not ex-students with a 'grass is greener' complex. I work now and I worked full time before I started my degree. I know exactly what that feels like thanks very much, and I prefer it any day.

You may not of whinging then, but you sure are making up for it now.

If you had actually read any of my posts you would know why im ‘whinging’. So kindly, keep your nasty, grumpy comments to yourself.

**** Loz01 - 1500? ooo those essays are the best! Actually, im one of those people who always got widely over the word limit, so maybe not! I am improving on spacing out my work. I have done several of the other essays due for the same day over the past two months, its just this 6000 wedge of an essay im struggling with. Going through though and as usual, im nearly over the word limit again now so will need a day of cutting it down! thanks

**** Bestpud - Thank you so much for your post. You just 100% summed it up for me how im feeling and what i was trying to get across. Im not avoiding work or being lazy, im just terrified of failing as i now connect it so closely with my sense of worth. Too many people to let down, and that is what terrifies me.

Thanks for being so kind. Too many people are so harsh and judgmental when you try and reach out for a little support and its people like tremor, and all the people who instantly jump on that boat without actually listening to the reasons behind why someone feels the need for some support. Your post eloquented what i wasn’t able to. Thank you.

**** Surfsister- what a fantastic idea. I would love that, just a little feedback from your peers to know you arnt the only one who is finding things hard, or not coping. That really is a fantastic idea. Im a student Ambassador (grand title for an essentially crappy role1) and im going to suggest that at the next meeting. I think the hardest thing is feeling like your the only one not coping, when in reality you are very much not alone. thank you

**** Kitten - thank you for your kind words of support also. I completely admire what you are doing and emphasise with the pressure your under. Like you and bestpud, i also have a high-pressure job with bags of responsibility but i seem to be able to take all that in my stride, and even feed from the pressure to achieve more, but with uni... i fall flat on my face again!! chin up and if you ever need someone to rant things through with, im only a PM away.:o


**** Mariajose - Honestly, i 100% relate to what you are saying. Sometimes things can feel so stressful you think its better to throw in the towel and give in rather than fail. Im not doing a languages degree but i took two language modules in my free choice last year... BSL went really well and i loved it, but the A Level German just through me down. It had been over 6 years since id spoken any German at all and that was only GCSE. very stupid choice for me and it dragged all my grades down.. grrrr!!

But i would strongly suggest and implore you not to give in. This pre-xmas slog is always said to be the hardest. But putting the work in now means a lovely long xmas break to relax and recover for the summer term (which somehow seems to spread itself a bit thinner) If you ever need a friend, PM me

*** again, thanks so much to those of you who have not judged me and have just offered your experiences, Uni can be such a lonely place and as much as i wish you all didn’t relate (!) Its re-assuring and comforting to know im not alone. I WILL do this - we all WILL do this. If any of you need to chat anytime or are feeling down, please PM me - we can get each other through

[FONT=&quot]wooooow. long post! sorry[/FONT]

Keeping_Motivated

famous.last.words your last post really got across what a caring sensitive person you are and it also comes across that if others are not then you are insensed as that would never be in your nature. It might help you to accept there are some very ignorant/uncaring people and with that acceptance might come some kind of ability not to take it personal and see that it is THEIR 'stuff' not yours. Hope that made sense.
You sound lovely, you are obviously hard working and also want to do well hence the anxiety of failing/letting people down. You can tell there is strength of character in you it comes across in your posts and that will see you through this.

I hope when you have finished it you manage to have a good christmas. And don't forget to make use of the counsellor for someone to talk to.

KM x