What have your parents taught you about money?

seaniboy

they never taught me, but I seen my dad spend it all & more and my mum hoard it all in the bank with very small rare luxuries, both were at other end of the scale to the max & I learnt to keep savings (at least 5-6 months wages after monthly rent/council tax, now at 4months due to car deposit, slowly going back up ) but also to pleasure myself when I felt the need.....

mentaljessie

My Mum always taught me to lie about how much you owe to people then smash plates at your Husband when he finds out. I've learnt to be a lot from my Mum and Step-Dad, they were both young when they got together (Mum had me when she was 16). I've learn't from my Mothers mistakes I'm quite good with money, solvent work very hard to have a good standard of living, and have no children at the age of 26. I learnt 2 years ago that the relationship I have with my parents is based around me being the parent. I no longer pay off my Mothers debts and confront my Step-Dad about my Mothers house keeping skills. In the end after my 2nd court appearance with Mum over her rent arrears I told her some home truths. I love my Mum please don't get me wrong but I was sick of bailing her out and having to dig into my tiny savings to get her out of trouble, when my parents earn 3 times more than me. I now take a firmer line and am no longer the bank of mentaljessie although my Brother and Sister are devastated at this fact. It seems that they have learn't nothing from my parents mistakes, coincidently my other Brother from natural Dads side has just been made a Bank Manager so perhaps it's in the genes?

Al_Mac

Both parents came from poor back grounds. Dad worked his way up, dragging mam along for the ride. They are comfortably retired.

My brother always saved, never earn't a large amount. Is OK

My sister had high potential, clever girl, has lived up to it. High debts, but high net property worth.

Me I earn't well and spent well. Had an accident, lived in debt for a while.

Now a combination of my siblings, but I think me dad taught me the logic of investment. But he does do the odd stupid thing.
:beer:

MooseRich

I'm 23 and my mum was a single parent for quite a while, when my stepdad met her, she had huge debts. They were only really paid off about 3 years ago. I never had holidays growing up and only actually had 2 with my family. I had school uniform grants for primary school and very few clothes for secondary school. I think it has rubbed off on me though, with my earnings my parents expected me to have a flash car, be saving up etc etc. But I can only so much and they can't see that and they still can't. Their idea has always been get the 'buy now, pay later' and only recently changed. I know how much trouble they were in as when I was 18 I got a credit report and didn't realise they were on it. I don't think it's much suprise that I don't get good rates on CC or loans even now.

I hope that now my debts have almost gone, I can be better than them, they do appreciate me getting internet plumbed into the house though, they have realised how much we actually save by buying things online and the £17.99pm is quickly surpassed by the savings. They won't listen to me to sign up to here though and get help to make the most of their money.

My sister however, is completely the opposite, she owes money right, left and centre. I'm just glad that she doesn't live here and affect my credit rating.

Zoetoes

iwanttosave wrote:

My mum taught me everything I need to know abot money, I just saw what she did and did the complete opposite. We had loads of money when growing up and had lovely holidays but when she remarried it all went down hill, she got in loads of debt, the phone bill went in so many variations of her name, my first reaction to this day when I hear a knock at the door is to duck in case its a collector or bailiff.

I on the other hand, have never been in debt, the only thing that isn't prepaid is the phone and my mobile, I own everything in my house, I worked since the word go, i pay more rent than I should incase I am ever short one week.I never buy anything I can't afford, if I need it I save. Watching her and knowing how I felt has made me want to do everything in my power not to let my kids grow up like that, I am so sensible with my money but still manage loads of treats for us all, weirdly I thank her for this, I myself could have easily gone down that route

I felt like crying reading this! It's been like that for my kids in the past because of my debts, I didn't realise how they must have felt. I've never had savings etc until now, after reading threads on here, I've opened the kids Halifax Regular savers accounts & set up standing orders from my account to theirs & also opened myself a savings account to save to take them to Disney Florida, it's going to take about 30 months but it's the only way to do it. I just hope when my kids are grown up they don't look back & think I was a bad mum!

Bargain_Rzl

seaniboy wrote:

they never taught me, but I seen my dad spend it all & more and my mum hoard it all in the bank with very small rare luxuries

Not too dissimilar from my parents, as my dad was the sole breadwinner and "financial controller" throughout my early childhood. I remember him having to have decent suits for work, while my mum struggled on a small amount of housekeeping and all our clothes were hand-me-downs. I wouldn't say my dad has ever been stupid with money, mind you, but even though he's quite secretive about his finances I know (from my mum) that he's spent most of his life in substantial debt.

Mum was always quite happy with her lot and content just to have a comfortable life; Dad always aimed higher and wanted luxury goods... they're now divorced.

Specific parental financial attitudes which have influenced me include:

Mum's borderline obsession with spreadsheets, taking pleasure and satisfaction in making them add up (=agree)

Mum's general contentment when in a state of equilibrium in life, rather than constantly seeking more (=agree)

Dad's constant insistence that if you were going to buy an item it was always worth getting the best, even if you couldn't really afford it (=disagree)...

...and his constant reluctance to buy/upgrade electrical equipment because "there'll be a much better one available in six months' time for the same price (=see his point but disagree because you never end up buying ANYTHING you want!)...

...and that it's not worth investing in the stock market unless you've got a major lump sum to invest (=disagree but would have to take situation on own merits)

The above may all sound like all the good stuff came from my mum and the bad from my dad, but my mum (who is still very frugal by necessity) constantly asks me why I don't spend spend spend, now that I'm on a good salary with VERY low living costs. Simple answer - parents bought first home at age 23 for £5k. I'm 27 and property ownership would be an enormous financial struggle, if possible at all (either I stay in London earning reasonable money but unable to afford a flat, or I move somewhere where I could get a flat on my current salary but where there would be no chance of earning my current salary :rolleyes:). So I have what I consider to be a good if non-extravagant lifestyle and am currently saving £500 a month (though when I come to move out of current v.cheap accommodation I'll probably only manage to save £200 a month). Until I can buy a flat, saving is one of my highest priorities.

Savvy_Sue

zoeleigh wrote:

I felt like crying reading this! It's been like that for my kids in the past because of my debts, I didn't realise how they must have felt. I've never had savings etc until now, after reading threads on here, I've opened the kids Halifax Regular savers accounts & set up standing orders from my account to theirs & also opened myself a savings account to save to take them to Disney Florida, it's going to take about 30 months but it's the only way to do it. I just hope when my kids are grown up they don't look back & think I was a bad mum!

Aw, Zoe, I don't know how old they are, but you've learned, and they'll see the difference. If you think they will remember bad things happening, it might be worth asking if they do, and apologising, and saying how things have changed so it won't happen again. You're the best mum they'll ever have, remember that!

superscotsman

They taught me the Solidarity principle:

It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.

System

Both my parents were born soon after the war, and this was evident in my dad particularly. He wouldn't waste any food. If there was mould in the jam, he scooped out the mouldy bit and ate the rest.

This is soooooo my Mum!!!! She is so tight with money she squeaks - but then again, she is quite wealthy because of it. However i hope i dont follow to the extremes of my Mum as the amount of rotton and mouldy food she has eaten over the years makes me sick to think about it.

HappySad

waterbaby wrote:

Economy was part of it, but to be honest I think there was a bigger issue. She is very interested in education, and so it was important to her that we didn't grow up playing with expensive electronic toys etc., which were produced for the sake of making a profit. Basically, security was about money but happiness and learning was not.

It could get a bit annoying sometimes, but the hurt and confusion in my dads eyes when he thought I had wasted my money really taught me a lesson.

For example, when I began working, he didn't like the fact that I often bought lunch from the restaurant. If he had argued with me, I would have been stubborn (it's my life etc), but the look in his eyes said far more.

And now I see that it was their instinctive reactions to my actions that taught me the most; not their words. When I disappointed them with the way I dealt with money, I hurt them, and that hurt me, and that's what shaped me, because I love them so much.

So as an adult, while I might not make the same decisions that they would, I share their basic values.

When I read what every one says about their parents really remind me of my parents.

Also waterbaby.. I can really see in your words how much you love your parents and value their feelings.

My parents where poor .. my dad was very poor and it as normal to eat every bit of the animal. I hated eating the fat and when the "lets be healthy" programs came on I learnt that it was not good to eat fat and I had a good reason for not eating it.

We did not waste anything. Everything that broke could be used for something else around the house. Old food went to the dog/cat/rabbit. Old clothes used as dusters. We had to buy quality at the lowest price possible which meant spending the rest of your life walking around all the shops in town to get the best deal (now we can look at home on the internet!!!). If we bought a low quality product, especially clothes (my mother know alot about making clothes) then this was frown upon.

Being like this meant that I lived well as a student as I know exactly how to budget and get good deals for food, clothes etc. But later in life I found that my waste not meant that I ended up with loads of clutter in my place.

I learnt about the value of saving, not getting in to any debt (never owned a credit card), shopping around and getting a good bargin. I thought that there was not much more do learn.. BUT how wrong was I.. being a MSE has taught me that there are many more people out there who want a good deal and also want to save money and will take action to do so. I have learnt so much from MSE. I feel that my parents have given me a good background knowledge on living well on less and being a MSE has refined my skills.


I have now found myself being a bit like the parents in this discussion. I try not to buy unnnessary stuff for myself or the family. I am really guarded about advertising trying to convince us that we need their next product that they have launched and of course the previous product is now old and useless. I still don't like to waste anything, but I feel better giving things off to be recycled or charity... which has helped greatly with the cluttering habit.


I learnt that with very little money & a lot of know how, you can live a much better live (material wise) than someone with double the money and very little know how. My friend use to say "why spend £100 on a £100 suit, when you can spend £100 on a £200 suit?"