Can Edinburgher be debt free and a mortgage holder by 30?

InaPickle

Oooh Ed!

First things first: Brussels is small and not too gorgeous: there isn't that much to do there.

HOWEVER...you are just up the road from Brugges, one of the more gorgeous cities standing on God's green planet. It's stunning and you can take horse and trap rides round the city. It's incredibly romantic. If a man proposed to me there I could almost see myself accepting, even if I didn't like it. GET THEE TO BRUGGES...NOW! (You won't regret it - you'll even put me on the wedding list for that suggestion. Seriously. )

As for the ring if you think your girlfriend was hinting, Ed, then get her that one: you probably know her well enough to get her little 'hints'. Give the ring to her with the provisor that 'I wasn't too sure what you would like so there is no problem whatsoever changing this if it's not to your taste' in such a way that she knows you mean it. She probably won't want to, anyway.

Or...and this is cute and funny suggestion I heard on this site: get her a sweetie jelly ring! (Only as a temporary measure, of course). Imagine the scene: romantic restaurant in a romantic city (Brugges!), chamapagne, great food, romantic proposal and then when you open the box...Tell her that it's only temporary until she chooses the ring she wants as you wanted to get it right and you think she should choose (then let her pick the ring she has already been hinting at, knowing how these things often work ). Of course, this depends on GF's SOH, but if someone gave me one of those in Brugges with champagne, I just couldn't say no!

(BTW, the added advantage of the sweetie ring is that if she loses it/a bird eats it etc. you can look really hurt and baleful and say 'That ring cost me a lot. I had to work really hard to save up the money to buy that!' Ooh, I'm wicked!

doodledo_2

:pOMG how did I miss this Ed, I havent been on for a day or so and you are declaring marriage proposals without me............tut tut.

The rule on engagement rings is all crap in my eyes and its all to do with the thought and the intent.

Ok so my marriage ended this year but we were together 17 years so think I can still comment lol. We got engaged very young and my ring cost a pittance but it meant the absolute world to me. I kept that ring on until the day we split, and yeah when we got older I could have replaced it for something more expensive but to me it wouldn't have meant the same.

Awwwwwwwwwwww love is in the air do you think its too early after a month to be hinting for my sparkly ring lol.

Propose on New Years eve awwwwwwwww so romantic :T

***doodles dashes off to look at hats******

edinburgher

do you think its too early after a month to be hinting for my sparkly ring lol.

Indeed - you might get a reputation as a crazy

***doodles dashes off to look at hats******

Settle down now - it was just a hypothetical question. Now I'm not sure as we discussed the topic in metaphors last night and the GF re-iterated the fact that she didn't care about having an expensive ring, but that she didn't believe that it's high up on my list of priorities...

edinburgher

Oh my word. Had a less than helpful e-mail from my elder brother who just got engaged re. non-diamond engagement rings.

He says that if I don't get a diamond I'll look like I cocked up the proposal, that she, her friends and family will doubt my commitment and that I'll look like a cheapskate.

Much as I love my bro, I'm not really used to taking his advice (he's very money motivated and equates almost everything in financial terms). On this occasion, however, he's definitely put the wind up me.

I know that my GF is far too grounded and loving to believe in crap such as love=money, but I also know that society can foist quite a lot of expectations on brides to be. I really wouldn't want to mess up something that I'm only doing once...

doodledo_2

I don't agree with that at all and from how you talk about your GF I don't believe she is that shallow either :mad: (that's for your brother)

edinburgher

doodledo wrote: »

I don't agree with that at all and from how you talk about your GF I don't believe she is that shallow either :mad: (that's for your brother)

Thankfully you were right. Had a quick chat with GF and she was disgusted that my brother had made such offbeat comments Ah, I really love that girl.

InaPickle

edinburgher wrote: »

Oh my word. Had a less than helpful e-mail from my elder brother who just got engaged re. non-diamond engagement rings.

He says that if I don't get a diamond I'll look like I cocked up the proposal, that she, her friends and family will doubt my commitment and that I'll look like a cheapskate.

Much as I love my bro, I'm not really used to taking his advice (he's very money motivated and equates almost everything in financial terms). On this occasion, however, he's definitely put the wind up me.

I know that my GF is far too grounded and loving to believe in crap such as love=money, but I also know that society can foist quite a lot of expectations on brides to be. I really wouldn't want to mess up something that I'm only doing once...

Nonononononono! :eek:

No offence to your brother, but he is talking horse-poo! The only thing that counts is that your GF likes the ring.

I have one friend who is really into human rights etc. and she once told me that if a guy ever bought her a diamond ring to propose to her with, that she would never be able to marry him however much she loved him as it would show that he completely didn't get her as she is totally against blood diamonds and knows that you could never truly be sure where a diamond comes from or how much human suffering lies behind it.

And anyway, you could spend exactly the same amount of money that you would have spent on a diamond ring on a ring with a different stone in: say you were hypothetically going to spend £1000 on a diamond, you could spend £1000 on a ruby instead. You might get more for your money, but that's all it is.

I wouldn't think anything wrong with having a different coloured stone in my ring. It's all a question of personal taste: your GF might prefer an emerald, say, to a diamond, as she may prefer that colour.

You know your girlfriend best, so you choose according to what you think she would like. After all, you aren't going to spend your whole marriage doing what other people do just because you are afraid they might think it's different to their way, are you? Start as you mean to go on, Ed - your way!

doodledo_2

edinburgher wrote: »

Thankfully you were right. Had a quick chat with GF and she was disgusted that my brother had made such offbeat comments Ah, I really love that girl.

And thats why you want to marry her............awwwww

edinburgher

she is totally against blood diamonds and knows that you could never truly be sure where a diamond comes from or how much human suffering lies behind it.

Me too! Ideally I'd be re-using existing stones from older jewellery etc., but as one of five kids the heirlooms are thin on the ground

beer_tins

InaPickle wrote: »

you could never truly be sure where a diamond comes from or how much human suffering lies behind it.

When I bought my wife's, the stone was GIA certified, which the guy said means it's not a blood diamond. I'm hoping that's true, if not I'd feel pretty bad...