Drowning I think

Ben84

Do something each day that makes your life better. Something, anything, whatever you like, but be sure to stick to it and do it without fail every day. However, it can't be the same thing every day, it has to be something new, even if you're still doing earlier things.

Don't underestimate how much this can do either, and don't quit doing it. It starts out pretty simple and gets interesting later when various things become more obvious, so aside from the benefits of doing stuff that helps you feel better, sticking to it has other benefits you'll almost certainly find for yourself later.

Volcano

If you're in your 3rd year (and half-way through it at that) then you really are on the homeward stretch!

Grit your teeth, dig in your heels and REFUSE to be beaten. Honestly, the feeling you'll get when you graduate will be amazing and once you get that degree, you'll have it for life.

If you're struggling with course work, it's far better to hand something in than nothing at all. Depending on how your uni course operates its marks, it may well be possible to pass, despite failing an individual module. Have a word with your course tutor and see.

Be strong!!

felcher

Dude, i can almost guarantee you that a large proportion of your fellow students are tieing themselves in knots about their outstanding assignments. So even though you feel alone, i promise you that you are not; there are many students sitting alone in their rooms questioning why they even bothered taking their course. But here's the thing, most of them somehow manage to complete their assignments, and ultimately their course, so it's not all doom and gloom.

Most students in a similar position to yourself, simply want to chat/socialise/occupy their time in an effort to avoid having to do the dreaded assignments. And this is normal. However, if you have issues with depression, i think you need to seriously establish whether you are simply avoiding doing your work like a lot of other students, or whether your depression is seriously impacting your ability to complete your work. Because if it's the latter then this isn't your fault and you are simply trying to fight the battle with one hand tied behind your back.

You've got to be honest with yourself and decide which catergory you genuinely believe yourself to be in. If you're simply avoiding doing your assignments until the last minutes, like many other students, then the best thing you can do is just start typing and see what happens. You'll probably think it's the worst thing you've ever written but then again who doesn't! But at least you'll have something to hand in, and you may be suprised by the mark it recieves. It really is better to hand in something than nothing, even though it may not feel like it.

However, if you geniunely believe that your depression is getting the better of you at this time, then stop punishing yourself and go and speak to a GP. Your health is far more important than any certificate. I don't know what your Uni's policies are on health issues and resits, but i'm sure that something can be sorted, even if it means having a gap year on health grounds or something.

Whatever you decide, i wish you the best of luck.

bestpud

top_drawer wrote: »

hi,

I do worry a lot about what other people think ... according to the Psychologies magazine test that was in this month I expect rejection and I have low self-esteem and worth ... there was more and it rung very true but then it didnt say how I could improve it?!?!

I love lists .... I am a complete control freak (also this months psychologies!) i love to tick stuff off and the feeling of havin "done" something towards a goal is fab.

I'm trying to focus on my work towards the exams and this essay as once the exams are over with (19th Dec) then Ive got until Jan to work on it as theres no looming deadline ...

Ive done a To do list breaking down some tasks, giving myself a break (to go to the post office) and then a clear line when to stop ... on two different things i need to achieve (of many).

Ive bought some valeriam today and ive taken some so hopefully i will get some sleep and wake up bright and early, i am more of a morning person, tamazapan did burger all last night...

Jen

Me too! I have major issues with rejection (or should I say perceived rejection). For me, the solution has been a very understanding counsellor who has forced me to challenge my perception of things. She just stays 'level' somehow, no matter how up or down I go, and forces me to stop and evaluate what the hell I am doing/thinking. Family or friends could never do that, no matter how much they wanted, as they are too involved and tend to move up and down with you, or react in some way, iyswim? It's working for me but it has been hell on earth and still is at times.

I think you just have to question yourself and try to see things for what they are. It helps if you can work out where the feelings originate too - for me there is a very clear reason why I have these beliefs and I just keep telling myself (like a broken bloody record at times!) I am placing past events and feelings onto current situations.

But it's difficult and tbh, a lot of the time, it is easier to do what I know best and believe the worst. It is very, very difficult to change such deep rooted beliefs but it is the only way, as we cannot change other people; only the way we see them.

I hope it helps a bit to know you are not alone - I'm sure there are many more of us out there! Sometimes it is easy to think we are the only person in the world who is struggling but in reality, almost everybody struggles with something, however small it may seem.

Also, I sometimes ask myself whether people would know I was struggling if I didn't tell them, and mostly the answer is 'no'. So then I think, if I can feel like I am dead on the inside, and yet fool people I am fine, then it is very likely some of the people I think are fine, are perhaps not at all. I can't seem to put that any better but I hope you can see what I am saying?

Good luck with it today - get going with that list!

top_drawer_2

Ben84 wrote: »

Do something each day that makes your life better. Something, anything, whatever you like, but be sure to stick to it and do it without fail every day. However, it can't be the same thing every day, it has to be something new, even if you're still doing earlier things.

I'm not sure where to start ... like what sort of things does it have to be out of the "norm" like I would normally file my nails etc anyway but theyve got out of hand recently (best way to see how im feeling is to look at how well looked after i am at the minute... :rolleyes:).

[/quote]
If you're in your 3rd year (and half-way through it at that) then you really are on the homeward stretch!
[/quote]

I read this this morning and have been thinking, thats its true and it worries me to death tbh as onece im finished what then... my degree is so general that i'm going to probably end up doing a job which has nothing at all to do with it, quite possibly something im not even interested in as I have rent etc to pay ...

I've been thinking a bit today about how people protect themselves from stuff ... like holding opinions which protect themselves etc and I thought maybe thats sort of my purpose of depression. I'm not saying this is the case for everyone/anyone else. I'm just thinking aloud really...

[/quote]
Most students in a similar position to yourself, simply want to chat/socialise/occupy their time in an effort to avoid having to do the dreaded assignments.
[/quote]

No I actually enjoy most of my assignments, the majority are interesting, the writing up is a pain in the @rse though. I just struggle with doing it when i feel like this... i feel like my life is one long tedium. I dont have any friends at uni, there is no contact time and the friends who I moved through uni with have moved on, they found me difficult to deal with what with depression etc and we moved in different directions.

My friend from home (again the rest moved on; having children, getting married and we moved in different directions) is always busy/working/doesnt answer texts. I dont go out apart from town for shopping etc ... my Mum has just had a masectomy and I feel terrible as I feel worried etc but im also struggling and as always it all about her!!

[/quote]
I don't know what your Uni's policies are on health issues and resits, but i'm sure that something can be sorted, even if it means having a gap year on health grounds or something.
[/quote]

This is a repeat year ... you would not believe the grilling etc I had to go through to be allowed this year again.

[/quote]
I have major issues with rejection (or should I say perceived rejection). For me, the solution has been a very understanding counsellor who has forced me to challenge my perception of things.
[/quote]

I wouldnt know where to start! I will be so glad to get back to counselling ... its time in a week for me to talk properly about anything knowing that its not judgemental/no strings attached and I wont get a load of advice that barely accounts for me in the situation.

I have very clear reason why I have suffer with this too - attachment theory rung very true for me when we studied it in my second year. I read a excellent book awhile ago They (F)uck you up! He knows whats he talking about!

I dont think people see that im struggling ... i think they do reject me though - my flatmates sometimes seem to go out of their way to push me away, maybe its the way I come over, I find when i'm feeling positive, positive things seem to happen/come my way... but how the hell do you feel "positive" when there's so little to feel positive over...

Jen

felcher

Dude, you have a lot to feel positive about. For example:

• There are people is this world who don't know where their next meal, or drop of water, is coming from.
• There are people in this world who are blind and have never seen the world they live in.
• There are people in this world who are watching their children dying of basic, curable diseases because the don't have access to drugs/ high street chemists.
• There are people in this world who have never heard the sounds of nature or music or even their parents' voice.

The list is endless. It is so easy to forget how lucky we are because we take so many things for granted. This doesn't mean your problems are any less important but it's all about context. So yes, you've got some issues to sort out, but you're in a better position/place to deal with those issues than many others in this world.

Please don't think i'm telling you to stop feeling sorry for yourself because i'm honestly not. I really don't think you are feeling sorry for yourself, you are simply expressing how you feel and what you worry about. I'm just trying to point out, albeit badly, that you have choices, and that the power lies in your hands. That is a positive position to be in. Take strength from it.

moneysavingmackem

Glad you've found this forum to help you through this, a big hug from me just take it one day at a time, you're almost through a 3/4 year degree.
It's all part of life's rich tapestry, you're learning all the time about yourself and those around you. Good luck.

top_drawer_2

moneysavingmackem wrote: »

Glad you've found this forum to help you through this, a big hug from me just take it one day at a time, you're almost through a 3/4 year degree.
It's all part of life's rich tapestry, you're learning all the time about yourself and those around you. Good luck.

lol :rotfl::rotfl: I started my university "career" in Sunderland - it must be freezing where you are by now:eek::eek:

I guess it is all a learning experience ...

I've spent all day on one of my modules "seen" questions and i've done quite a bit - I'm worried im going to do rubbish in my exams as I just cant "do" everything ...

I have an essay due this thursday (read all journals, written notes on 3), three seen questions (started 2) and three unseen questions (O started) and i'm very worried.

I wanted the seen questions done by the beginning of december, giving me two weeks until the exams start .. I dont even know where the time has gone.

I've no idea why I feel better as nothing has changed;)

Jen

Ben84

top_drawer wrote: »

I'm not sure where to start ... like what sort of things does it have to be out of the "norm" like I would normally file my nails etc anyway but theyve got out of hand recently (best way to see how im feeling is to look at how well looked after i am at the minute... :rolleyes:).

If you feel like you haven't looked after yourself so well recently, then doing something about that sounds like a good place to start.

However, the things you do are likely to be quite personal. For me it has often been socialising stuff, but that might not be a concern at all for you.

Perhaps even my one thing a day, even if it's a small thing, is a bit too basic for you. However, it worked well for me when I was at a very bad point. Dealing with it as a whole was overwhelming so I decided to get there one step at a time. I could manage that, and I did get there.

Part of what's good (I hope!) about my advice is that it makes you think about what would help you. If you haven't been thinking about this then you need to start.

top_drawer_2

hi,

One a day sounds good because it sounds straight forward and I can make it as complicated as I like ... last night I steamed cleansed and put a face mask on. Not sure what I can do tonight but thats ages away yet.

I'm considering going for hypnosis, I dont think my counsellor will be back now until after Chrsistmas and I don't want to change so maybe this could complement it.

Jen