Drowning I think

top_drawer_2

hi,

I dont know where to start to be honest...

I just feel like i'm drowning all the time, I have a lot of work on (an essay due next Thursday which I havent got to grips with yet, 3 seen essays to write and revison for 3 unseen questions) and I am really struggling with loneliness. I am/have struggles with sleeping and the Dr has given me some Tamazapan (which is currently not working that well).

I dont have any friends really to speak (one but she is getting more and more distant, her choice and Im sick of always having to chase her now) although I attend a couple of social events for things I enjoy (I have done so much group joining for things around the uni which I just didnt enjoy that Ive chosen something I DO enjoy which isnt considered a average choice for someone of my age and I get a lot out of it). I just dont have people I can share things with/talk about personal stuff with, it doesnt seem to matter what I join it just never happens for me.

I wouldnt say I was desperate but it getting that way... I've just started feeling (again) that my life is rubbish. I've had AD's in the past and I dont feel that I NEED them as yet, they only lift you temporaily and I would prefer to deal with it in a more longterm way.

I just dont know how or how to get through my workload.

Jen

I would love a night in with a takeaway/movie etc or to be able to talk openly about things

slummymummyof3

Have you tried speaking to your tutor to ask for an extension - ask for further clarification of what is expected. Use the marking scheme and the essay description to help guide yourself in to including relevent and pertinent information. Also get someone to proof read your work....does it make sense, have you answered the questions you have been asked. Is it a reflective piece or academic?

dannymccann

Where I am we dont get given mark schemes to work to, we are expected to do it to the best of our ability based on what we have been told, 3rd year Accountancy and Finance and uni of Lincoln. If you get on with your family, go home for a night, and have someone else fuss around you, cook meals for you, sit down and watch a day fo telly, or play some games / do whatever it is that relaxes you in an environment you find easy and relaxing.

Best best best thing for me - if im struggling with essays, which I always am, make a superhuman effort to get the first one to be handed in started in a good way, when you sotp for a break you will see what you have achieved and you will feel the best

Try not to spend too much time in the library, unless you like it in there. I find it a very depressing place to be as I dislike reading dusty old texts and journals.

yully

Hi sorry to hear you're having a tough time. First you need to speak to your tutor and it might also be worth contacting module leaders just to inform them of what's happening. you also need to get extensions organised as soon as possible. Contact student services and have a chat with them, I'm at uni and they've been fantastic. Obviously all uni's have differing support systems in place but student services will be able to tell you what's available, such as counselling and staff who'll help with your assignments. I know from experience when you feel like this it's hard to get going but ring your personal tutor and student support this afternoon and then e-mail your module leaders to sort out extenstions, trust me after you do you won't feel tonnes better and know that you don't have to face things on your own. Come on, stop putting it off, get cracking!!!

robnye

yully wrote: »

trust me after you do you won't feel tonnes better and know that you don't have to face things on your own. Come on, stop putting it off, get cracking!!!

wise words....... my eldest is at uni, and this year has had a bit of a bumpy first 6 weeks, got very low, now climbing out of it with the help of the few friends she has made/contact with, also sees counsellor weekly - which has been the biggest help.

have you tried asking others in your study group for help or whether they fancied a joint study session.... maybe they are in the same position as you!

top_drawer_2

slummymummyof3 wrote: »

Have you tried speaking to your tutor to ask for an extension - ask for further clarification of what is expected. Use the marking scheme and the essay description to help guide yourself in to including relevent and pertinent information. Also get someone to proof read your work....does it make sense, have you answered the questions you have been asked. Is it a reflective piece or academic?

hi,

This is a repeat year as I suffered with depression the first time and they are less than sympathtic. period. They seem to want to drive me out in a way as they've had enough of all the "excuses."

I understand what I have to do - analyse studies which I am awful at... the question is one where the answer is not in a journal - its What do adoption and twin studies tell us about the heretibility of personality? the first sentence of every journal is that personality is widely accepted to be heretable .... which sort of leaves me a lack of things to talk about...

My parents are less than supportive too as they always said I "wasnt cut out for uni" and my depression is just something to make sure I feel bad about ...

I honestly wish I could go home and enjoy the home comforts etc but they werent there when I lived at home, much less now. My parents drink a lot to put it mildly and the house is a state, last time I was at home the bathroom should have been designated a health hazard and there was no cutlery or plates to eat with till I washed some of the mountain at the side of the sink.

I simply dont have any friends and I think I come over as old, desperate and a bit odd to the young ones (I'm 26) somehow although I dont think its a Single "thing" - just maybe im not at my best and people sense that... I act a lot older and take things quite seriously as I considered this degree my chance to avoid continuing life in boring office/call centre jobs with no responsibility or tax on the brain which i'd had in the past.

I am on the waiting list to see a counsellor - one Ive seen before who was ace, but she is off ill herself at the moment and no-one knows when she will be back.

I dont want to use extensions (and theyre really unwilling to give them anyway) as thats possibly what my downfall was last time - one extenstion after another until I just couldnt catch up.

Jen

timnicebutdim_2

Hi,

From your posts it seems like there's a few things getting you down which centre on your workload and feeling isolated. Try and tackle things one at a time and don't dwell on the problem as a whole.

Having felt a bit like you did at uni myself, maybe try doing a variety of things in your spare time (...when you have some!) like swimming, volunteering or a part time job, you'll find plenty of 'mates' along the way and some of those may eventually become 'friends'. Also be positive around people you meet and don't take things too seriously.

I know it's easy to say it but with work break things down,
and try and engage with it so you enjoy it. If analysis is your weakness then see that as a challenge to make it your strength. If you don't enjoy it at all then maybe review whether you want to continue doing it after the first year. But remember at least your giving it a go!

bestpud

Having just spent half an hour bawling my eyes out over uni assignments, I know just where you are coming from!

The only answer though is to keep going when it starts to get tough - you know when you get to the point of despair ad think you will never get the bloody thing finished - just break through the doubt and keep going. I have found if I stop when I'm at the worst point then I put off starting again so I try very hard to keep going until I am feeling a bit happier at least.

I'm sorry you have no close friends you can talk to as I can see that won't be helping. I'm not sure what the answer is though...

I agree extensions can have a sting in their tail and are best avoided.

As for the twin studies, I have only done a little psychology but I thought there are studies where sperated twins have turned out differently? Have you tried searching under 'nature/nurture' type key words rather than personality?

It's the last thing you want to hear I know (been there and been told it myself!) but you really have to bite the bullet and get cracking with them, one by one.

I tell myself I will have to write it at some point so better now than a day before the deadline, when I will feel ten times worse and be more stressed - works sometimes, for me at least!

top_drawer_2

hi all,

I was feeling a little more positive and thinking of making lists of things to do, look to the future etc and then something and nothing which my housemate has said has had me in tears (she has no idea and believe me they would have me locked up if they knew as its beyond petty) and I feel awful. It just sort of highlights the current situation, both what she said and how ive reacted.

I just dont know where to start to be honest with the essay, with sorting my life.

Jen

top_drawer_2

timnicebutdim wrote: »

Hi,

From your posts it seems like there's a few things getting you down which centre on your workload and feeling isolated. Try and tackle things one at a time and don't dwell on the problem as a whole.

Having felt a bit like you did at uni myself, maybe try doing a variety of things in your spare time (...when you have some!) like swimming, volunteering or a part time job, you'll find plenty of 'mates' along the way and some of those may eventually become 'friends'. Also be positive around people you meet and don't take things too seriously.

I know it's easy to say it but with work break things down,
and try and engage with it so you enjoy it. If analysis is your weakness then see that as a challenge to make it your strength. If you don't enjoy it at all then maybe review whether you want to continue doing it after the first year. But remember at least your giving it a go!

hi,

Unfurtunately that boat sailed ... i'm in my third year now. If I had known what I know now I dont think I would have done this degree - the lack of contact time, the constant rounds of reading list (which cant be completed), analysis of everything and that nothing is ever made clear - the make scheme is intentionally so general it cant be applied by us students to a piece of work.

I did force myself to go out last night and it was a disaster - I went to a running group which turned out to be miles and miles out from where I live. I set off an hour before it was due to start, the bus driver said he would let me off when and forgot. When he remembered, told me and let me off I then got another us to go back where I spent the next 40 minutes walking round a industrial estate as "helpful" people kept telling me "its just over there" and "Oh it must be that ... " it wasnt ... I spotted some ladies out running with the branded jacket on but couldnt catch up ... I stubbled across it on the way back to the bus stop. I'd completely missed the group - but did get to speak to a lady and then went for the bus ... which I ran for when I saw coming ... the driver completely ignored because I was metres from the actual stop. I then waited another 30 minutes in the cold for the next one. I feel like i'm just a disaster area.

Jen

Girlzmum

Top Drawer - you said you're waiting to see a counceller, is this through your gp? Have you approached your SU - they should offer support and counselling.
I'm in 3rd year as well and there are times I get so stressed I can barely breathe but no matter how much you doubt yourself remember that you have worked your @ss off to get this far and you have succeeded so you can do it, it''s just getting that first step that is always the hardest.