Would You Buy For Someone Who Doesn't Say Thank You?

RustyFlange

MYLITTLESISTERLOLA wrote: »

My sister ( godmother to my son ) has opened a bank account for my son. She lodges a set amount every month and doesn't buy him anything. Kids get so much from Santa & other relatives it all gets a bit silly. She has said she decides when she takes money out for a treat, like earlier this year when we went to Jamaica to get married she got him some dollars. This suits me fine and I have no objections after all it's one less toy to tidy up !!!
On the subject of thank yous my son has been taught from the day he could speak that you say thank you for everything... in a shop when we buy something he says thank you to the person on the till, he says thank you when people do something for him no matter how small like getting him a drink etc. And as for please if he asks me to do/buy something for him he knows the answer will be no if I don't get the courtsey of a please & a thank you. God knows it doesn't cost anything, I was brought up with manners and my son will be too

P.s. he's only 4

Your post is spot on in my opinion. My sister buys a small token present and posts it over to both of my children, then any other money she puts in an account for them for when they are older or (in my sons case) to buy him a new bike once he has learnt to ride without stabilisers.

Both my son (6) an d my daughter use manners, My son used ta for everything from the age of 5 months, and my daughter has used ta from the age of 8 months (slow speaker) everyone comments on how well mannered my son is and how unusual it is. My daughter has just learnt please .. well pees! I know she doesn't fully understand what it means but she knows that if she would like something then she needs to say either pees or thankyou. Manners cost nothing!

miss_corerupted

my step son says please and thank you for everything when with us. He doesn't get anything until he does. he's 4 but he learned quickly

pollywollydoodle_2

An 18 yo step child in our family never said thankyou for any gifts. A few years ago he actually opened my present in front of me and I still never got a thanks out of him! I haven't bought him anything since. I buy they younger children individually and send a tin of sweets or biscuits addressed to the whole family at Christmas

We were always brought up to send thank you's, even in this day and age a text or email is not much to ask. Manners cost nothing and teach us a good lesson in life.

never_enough

If I don't get a thank-you twice then they dont get another present. It's that simple. Most of my friends children are good at writing, its our relatives that are rubbish!
Like many other people I'm using the credit crunch as a great excuse to pare my present list.

Margaret54

I was also brought up with good manners and always said thank you and please. I brought up my 6 children to have good manners as well. I find it so rude when someone does not say thank you, and as other posters have said good manners costs nothing. It comes from the parents, they ought to teach their children them from very little. I always taught mine to write a thank you note and post it if the person was not there at the time, and they said thank you very much when the person was there. There is such a lack of good manners today. I knit a lovely baby shawl which took some time, and bought another little gift and wrapped them up with lovely baby paper and wrote out a card and my husband and I took the parcel down to his neice's home when she was home with her new baby. I understand that women are very tired when they arrive home after leaving hospital, and so we left going until she was home a few days, but we had no intention of staying only a quick visit. She took the parcel from me and said oh right and we made small talk and the wee one was sleeping and we left about ten minutes. She did not even offer us a seat. Well that was 3 years ago and she is having another baby this month and guess who is not getting anything handknit this time? I have a small gift for the baby when it comes, and her sister is having her first baby same time and they live close by to each other. I am knitting for her wee one as she is a nicer person but I was so annoyed when all she had to say was thank you. When anyone took the trouble to knit for my children I not only said thank you but would write a little note and post it to say how much I appreciated the lovely garment as it takes time to knit, especially when you buy the wool and the pattern and decide what to make. That did it for me.

shiprob195

When i was a child i used to get a pack of "a note from Victoria" notes for my birthday. It was these i used to say thank you for my presents at Christmas and birthdays. This was 30 years ago though.......:rolleyes:

My two brothers also got similar cards.

I have also instilled this onto my 2 sons (10y and 18 months). We usually make the thank you cards in the days before they go back to school in January.

I have in the past taken photos of them opening their pressies and sent it as a picture card or even as an email to sat thanks.

My mum used to send pressies to her great neices and nephews. She never once had a phone call or letter of thanks for years and years.... she has stopped sending the parcels now.

never_enough

I also think that it's perfectly acceptable to buy for a God-child & not their sibling(s). Whilst you're probably close to the other children they will surely have their own God-parents? Being a God parent is a special relationship to have with a child & is not just about gifts. If you don't want to give a gift to one but not the other then maybe you could take your God-child out & do something fun together?

mrcow

Sorry just wanted to comment on the above post.

All my children's godparents buy for just them at Christmas. I don't expect them to buy for anyone, but they do tend to, but not for siblings. I mean where do you stop? You'll end up buying everyone and his mother a gift!

katholicos

If you have always bought presents for all the children then it is going to be a bit difficult maybe, to suddenly begin giving only to your God-daughter. Perhaos you could have a word with the parents and just say that with the credit crunch and everything, you are no longer able to buy for all the children and instead, you will be buying for your God-daughter and perhaps buying selection boxes for the other kids.

Or, just be honest and tell the parents you feel obligated to continue to buy for all children because its something youve always done BUT that you feel that they are ungrateful and will now only buy for your God-daughter.

maria_and_the_imps

my daughter is 2 and it doesn't matter if you are passing her a pen, giving her her dinner or giving her a present 9 times out of 10 she remembers to say thank you and if she doesnt she is reminded with a simple "what do you say" and straight away she will say thank you, my son was and is the same. manners cost nothing and i was brought up knowing manners were important as are my children. If it was me i would either have to say something or stop buying.