Would You Buy For Someone Who Doesn't Say Thank You?

KARENW_3

I have a dilema, i buy xmas and birthday presents for a close friend and her 3 children, one of whom is my god daughter. However, I very rarely get a thank you which is starting to really annoy me and I am thinking of not bothering at all this year, however I feel bad that I won't be buying my god daughter anything. If I don't buy anything for xmas do you think it is acceptable to buy the god daugher a birthday gift and not the other two? the god daughter is 3, the others 11 and 14.

Thanks for your thoughts!

discountshoppers

definitely!

I have friends who are godparents to one of my children and not the others and they only buy for the godchild.

Why don't you give the other 2 a selection box, something cheap?

Bunnyhop

I think it's acceptable! My Godparents sent me gifts and my sisters Godparents sent her gifts, we didn't receive gifts from each others Godparents and that never seemed bad to me

Liney_2

Just on the not saying thank you side of the OP's message - I think the parents are at fault here - my Mum nagged and nagged until my thank you notes were done after birthdays and xmas, her voise still reings in my ears to this day - these days you can buy a pre-printed card so there really is no excuse - try buying the mother a book on etiquete/good manners - or drop a heavy hint by refering to someone else who doesn't say thank you and how rude it is and see if she gets the message. Good luck. I still think you should get the kids (or just your Goddaughter alone) a gift if you can afford it. Otherwise it gets bitter...

QuirkyChemistry

Maybe you should buy one of the Oxfam gifts like a goat or school dinners for a child. That way someone somewhere will appreciate it and you will still have made the effort of getting a gift.

becs

I stopped buying for my friends children when they stopped saying thank you. AT 11 and 14 they are old enough to know better. I buy for my Godson's sister but she is older and I have always bought for her. They however are absoloutely fantastic at thank you notes. She often goes up to her room whilst her Mum and I catch up and she comes down with a thank you note. I don't even expect them if I see them face to face and they can say thank you only if I've posted gifts. Apart from anything else how do you know whether they've been received!
Becs

3_cheeky_princesses

I think as other OP said it is damn right rude if the mother doesnt encourage her children to say thank you. Also the older 2 are old enough to say thanks themselves or to make a thank you note / card.

I think the idea above of a cheap idea is a good one ~ selection box for the 2 older ones and a small gift for your god daughter ~

phunkles

Up until I became an adult i never sent a thank you note to anyone ? - my brothers godmother used to send us gifts in the post and my mother would send her children xmas gifts and there was never a thank you note exchanged between the homes???
I always thanked people face to face as a child and even now when possible.
Doesnt mean they dont appreciate the gifts - maybe its the opposite that they enjoy the gift(can be multiples of gifts from other people) so that instead of Xmas day being about enjoying your family and presents its not spent at a table writing thank you notes???
I dont always see my godchildren on their actual birthday or actual Christmas day so send the gift in advance or drop it round a few days before - But i wouldnt expect a thank you note. I didnt buy them a gift expecting to be thanked for it I buy for them because I enjoy buying gifts for 3 small boys.
However IF i do see them on actual birthday or Christmas they do thank me face to face and normally get me involved with playing with whatever I bought them.
I would never buy one child with out the other that would seem really unfair and I wouldnt of liked it if I was a child and my sibling got a gift and I didnt??

BUT if it bothered you that much Id down size the gift to all 3 children and just buy a token present to them all ie a board game aimed at your god daughters age range and upwards or a small gift to them all.

(Just trying to see the other side of it really)

I think it could look like your being funny if you only buy for your goddaughter thats my view though

[Deleted User]

I guess you could buy a box of Thank You cards as part of the present and see if they take the hint ??

agatha_misty

Our 23yr old nephew through my husbands side, will not be getting a pressie this year.
He has a very well payed job and owns his own home, car etc. He has NEVER sent a birthday card to our children or even a christmas card to us as a family and we have never been thanked.

I have always put it down to the fact that his a lad and it just slips his mind to do so, Until, last year when I noticed he'd sent gifts and card to his other uncle and uncles wife only bottles of wine but I was sooooo annoyed. I've always been the type of person that thinks it's the thought that counts but I have now changed my mind with him

So I would buy for the goddaughter a gift and for the others selection boxs. At their age they should say thanks to your face without prompting, but the mother should get the kids to write a little thank you to you if they don't see you with the gift. I always write thanks yous and my young daughter writes thanks you. The boys did write thank you's when younger but now they actually phone the person without prompting.


Aggie
:j

Siren137

I would be really annoyed if I went to the trouble of buying someone a gift and they didn't have the decency to say thank you. Its only two little words and is no trouble at all.

On the note of not giving any gifts to the other two children but giving one to the god daughter, don't feel pressured into buying something for the others especially as they don't say thanks. No one needs to buy extras in this financial climate, maybe you could use that as a reason, say you are cutting back this year and so are only buying for those who are grateful.