It is tough NOW. So how are we coping

sammy_kaye18

anguk - I think I will start saving myself a pin money pot and then treat myself to something - or treat me and my partner to a night out together etc. I think it is a good idea to at least treat yourself even if it is once a month or set yourself a limit of how long - say every month, every 3 months, etc. For me at Christmas I like to go to Bath and meet up with my nan so maybe I will save for that and then treat her to lunch.

I already have a credit union account in place that I plan to start saving money for Christmas into once my birthday and little misses birth is out of the way!

BitterAndTwisted

puss14 wrote: »

Bitter and Twisted- yes it is difficult when trying so hard and not getting anywhere, I think I would be coping better if i was seeing the debt reduce.

I guess I should be pleased that with a reduced income we haven't got into anymore debt.

But you ARE getting somewhere, you really are. Managing on a reduced income and not increasing your debt at the same time is winning a victory twice over and probably three times as hard to do than paying off debt alone, so please give yourself a huge pat on the back. That's the way I'd be trying to look at it, in any case.

You are winning, it's just that the race is a bit slower than you would like.

kidcat

I agree with Bitter and twisted - sometimes just standing still is the greatest achievement we can hope for.
Eventually you will move forwards again

I realise now that its only having experienced all the great lows and difficulties that makes me fully appreciate the good stuff. I know friends who have twice as much income as we do but who really do not appreciate anything - spend in the first shop without price checking and then complain they are broke. Whereas every time I manage to get an item cheaper I am thrilled -( its me against the shops )and I take real pleasure at Christmas and Birthdays when the kids open their gifts and have got alot to show for the money I have spent and I know I havent gone into any debt.

the title of this thread is It is tough now. and that is so true, but it cant last forever.

Sending hugs to everyone.

charlies-aunt

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

It's very difficult to keep going sometimes when you feel like you're running faster and faster just to stay in the same place, isn't it?

By necessity I have to take pleasure in tiny victories like my windowsill garden coming along nicely or the feeling when I pass the bakery counter at the supermarket and buy nothing because I know I can make something better and cheaper at home.

Try not to forget that all the time you're keeping your head down you're not seeing the sky.

For me, it is extremely difficult to get out of bed at 5.45am, rush round to get to work, work a full day before getting back home to start the housework....knowing full well that when the bills are paid at the end of the month there won't be anything left ...and you still owe on things...

Its tough, its hard and its depressing - totally and utterly agree.

What keeps me going is that a couple of years ago, we were in deep financial trouble - and I suddenly became very ill and had an agonising few months being tested for various types of cancer..... I was finally diagnosed with Leucopenia - it's a pain in the posterior and a life long inconvenience to have it because it interfers with my RA treatment but given the alternative option - I'm not complaining.....and we paid our debts slowly and methodically - all the worry in the world wasn't going to get them paid quicker so we made a plan, stuck to it and ceased to lie awake at night

The whole experience brought my life into sharp focus and left me with a determination to embrace life & get as much pleasure from every day and everything that I can.... enjoy the things that money can't buy.

Its lovely to have money but its not everything - the sun shines on rich and poor alike after all

Any fool can buy a cake from a bakery but you and I can bake a better one for a fraction of the cost...... and we know what's gone into it and that its been done with clean hands! :rotfl: I detest these damned TV cookery programmes - given a basket of the finest ingredients, anyone could knock together a one-off tasty meal - the trick of being a good cook IMHO is to make a varied selection of decent meals day-in, day-out with restricted quantities of cheap/basic ingredients....I'm sure most of the posters here could give Jamie, Nigella et al a good run for their money on that one.

Hang on in there Bitterandtwisted - keep enjoying your small pleasures - things could be better ... but they could be a lot worse too.

puss14

Primrose- I like your idea of paying yourself for your vegies, it must be very inspiring at the end of the year to see actual dollars saved.

Anguk- Pin money challenge, what an excellent idea thanks so much for posting the thread.

Sammy kaye- You are right about just keeping on, you have done brilliantly to get to where you are. I have printed out the poem to keep me on track, thank you for posting the link.

Bitter and twisted- thanks so much for the encouragement, I think I can be a bit hard on myself, I always want to be doing better then I am. Tbh I should be pleased that finally all our bills are up to date and paid as we were seriously chasing our tales for the last 6 months, always being behind with payments and now we are 100% up to date so that is very good:)

Kidcat- I agree that you do appreciate the little things, my OH made a green chicken curry as a treat for us last night and it was soo good, I enjoyed it just as much as any meal at a restaurant.

Charlies aunt- I love your reasoning "the sun shines on rich and poor alike after all" this is so true and when i was outside getting the clothes off the line I really appreciated the sunshine and lovely weather. I guess I want it all gone now but it doesn't work like that, slow and steady wins the race:)

I feel a bit more cheered up now, what a lovely bunch of people are on this site:T

thriftyscotslass

puss14 - thankyou for your posts earlier today - everyone's replies have really helped me today.

A little about myself - two years ago dh and I (mid 40s) were both working full-time. This time last year ds, now 18, was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome & associated mental health problems and had to drop out of 6th form to go on dla. I left my full-time job to become his full-time carer.

My mother and brother (our only extended family) kicked off with their own issues - brother is an alcoholic, Mum is his enabler. Mum was looking to me to take care of the two of them - she had spent all my dead father's money (he was also an alcoholic). So, no support for me from them. I have dropped all contact with my brother and see my Mum once a week, God knows why as all she does is complain about how hard her life is - she owns her own bungalow, she has a timeshare appartment and goes on holiday 4 weeks a year and has a very good social life.

After a year of trying to get support for ds so that I could back to work, it has finally sunk in that we are on our own. Over the past year, we have been overpaying on our mortgage for our 70s concrete Mews house - a first-time buyers house that we never managed to move on from but it is our palace :rotfl: (our only debt).

Last week, my dh's company has started making serious noises about redundancies and although his boss has assured him otherwise, dh thinks he may be in the line-up as his job is becoming increasing automated. So after one hell of a year, this last week has completely frozen me and I do empathise so much with that feeling of how do you keep positive and how do you keep going. I hate feeling so vulnerable and the possibility of our house being at risk makes me feel sick with dread. The depression is just crippling.

So I am now on a serious mission to save every penny that I can manage and hope to join you all moving forward to happier times. Thanks for reading xxx.

kidcat

I started seriously saving last year for a rainy day and then suddenly out of nowhere we were evicted from our home as the landlord wished to use it for something else. We had looked on it as a forever home and had been encouraged by the LL to think like that but these things happen- it was such a shock and as we had only recently got out of debt I believed we would struggle to get a private rental again and never believed we would get a mortgage. However a minor miracle happended nd we discovered that although we had just finished paying off the debts- the defaults had all fallen off our credit records and we were therefore able to get a mortgage - provided we could achieve a deposit. We managed to get another rental from our landlord that will be for twelve months maximum (we are now 6 months into contract) and I have managed to save almost half of the deposit needed - something I have not told my DH as he would automatically hit the savings when things are tight. So we ae now starting to look at houses to buy which is something I had never even dared dream for (my DH thinks my parents will be lending us the deposit!!).

I guess what I am trying to say is that starting small can bring huge rewards, my small savings pot has blossomed into half a deposit on a home.

Keep making your small steps guys even when you cant see a difference, it will eventually blossom into something wonderful.

taplady

kidcat - well done on your achievements!:T

Lindy_-_Loo

Hello everyone,

Joined the grocery challenge for the first time this month as we have claimed for housing benefit and been awarded £59 per week (OH works full time and Im a full time mum). Hoping that we can use this for shopping and not use the credit card 2 or 3 times a month and then only pay the minimum off which isnt seeing the debt go down. Got around £4000 on CC, mainly with food, christmas, no luxuries!
Im hoping that by not adding any more on to the cards, we can see a way out of the debt even if its not getting lower - i guess its not getting higher.

slowandsteady_2

Hello everyone,

Have caught up on thread, hugs to everyone experiencing difficulties at present, sometimes it feels like one step forward and five back.

I think there is a lot to be said about appreciating the small things, i drove past the library the other day which is set at the front of a park and all the beautiful trees had all their white and pink blossoms, it was a beautiful sight, and made me so happy that day.

I have been given lots of pots off my sister and im going to have a go at planting my BBC Dig In seeds, it will be the first time i have ever tried to plant anything. Our back garden is still in a state, we moved in a year ago and the house had been empty for a long time according to next door and the back garden was appalling, dh has been doing what he can but its certainly no good for planting this year, maybe next with some hard work. So im going to see if i can grow anything successfully in my pots. I also have a childs paddling pool , just one of those small ones that can go in the garden and was thnking i might be able to use that too to grow something in.

Small pleasures eh!

Hope everyone having difficulties will soon get through them, and no doubt come out stronger the other side

night xx