It is tough NOW. So how are we coping

kidcat

lilac_lady wrote: »

Just popping back to catch up and am once again in awe of the strong (mainly women) posters who share their lives with us here.

Reading about the struggles of some of you, one thing stands out. Babies may cost money but they bring joy and a purpose in life to the rest of the family. Keep on coping!

Its so true about babies, I remember when I was pregnant with my son (now 6) my mum was not happy that we were having another baby, but when he was a few months old my grandfather became very ill and I ended up caring for him in his home whilst looking after my kids too. He spent two months in hospital until he died when my son was 8 months old, and my grandfather was so comforted by my sons presence it made my mum say that his birth had been such a blessing!!

Primrose

Sammy Kaye - if you want to sow salad leaves, Rocket is probably one of the easiest ones to grow. It germinates within two or three days and if you keep snipping off the leaves they will regrow. I kept a small trough going outside all through the winter and have just resown it with another batch. I keep the soil nourished by digging in small quantities of kitchen waste such as carrot peelings and you can often find cheap packets of Rocket seeds in Pound & similar shops. I bought 3 packets for a pound the other day.

Feeling chuffed that my OH recently found a virtually new pair of M & S Chino trousers in a charity shop for £3.75. They're too long but I can easily shorten them. I can remember the time when he wouldn't have been seen dead buying clothes in such a place. Now he's as pleased as I am when he spots a bargain. And no VAT to pay on second hand clothes either.

sammy_kaye18

Primrose wrote: »

Sammy Kaye - if you want to sow salad leaves, Rocket is probably one of the easiest ones to grow. It germinates within two or three days and if you keep snipping off the leaves they will regrow. I kept a small trough going outside all through the winter and have just resown it with another batch. I keep the soil nourished by digging in small quantities of kitchen waste such as carrot peelings and you can often find cheap packets of Rocket seeds in Pound & similar shops. I bought 3 packets for a pound the other day.

Feeling chuffed that my OH recently found a virtually new pair of M & S Chino trousers in a charity shop for £3.75. They're too long but I can easily shorten them. I can remember the time when he wouldn't have been seen dead buying clothes in such a place. Now he's as pleased as I am when he spots a bargain. And no VAT to pay on second hand clothes either.

Thanks primrose. Will most definitely give that a go i think. will probably save me a few quid and plenty of black buckets in work (coop) that i can steal a few of as planters.

I was happy recently a i went to visit my mum and found out she has a red cross furniture shop in the local town so asked her to keep an eye out for some nice bunk beds for the boys for me

puss14

hello everyone,
I am sure there is probably a thread somewhere about this, but I am not the best at search engines. I'm just wondering what you all do when the whole money saving starts to get you down. I'm finding it especially hard as we don't seem to be getting anywhere debt wise even tho I haven't brought any clothes for over 2 years and I have probably spent $10 in 2 years on things like haircuts, beauty products etc. do not go out apart from to friends places, park, beach, library etc
Anyway, anyone have some tips for staying upbeat?

BitterAndTwisted

It's very difficult to keep going sometimes when you feel like you're running faster and faster just to stay in the same place, isn't it?

By necessity I have to take pleasure in tiny victories like my windowsill garden coming along nicely or the feeling when I pass the bakery counter at the supermarket and buy nothing because I know I can make something better and cheaper at home.

Try not to forget that all the time you're keeping your head down you're not seeing the sky.

anguk

puss14 wrote: »

hello everyone,
I am sure there is probably a thread somewhere about this, but I am not the best at search engines. I'm just wondering what you all do when the whole money saving starts to get you down. I'm finding it especially hard as we don't seem to be getting anywhere debt wise even tho I haven't brought any clothes for over 2 years and I have probably spent $10 in 2 years on things like haircuts, beauty products etc. do not go out apart from to friends places, park, beach, library etc
Anyway, anyone have some tips for staying upbeat?

Even when money is very tight I think it's important to treat yourself every now and then, even if it's just a nice cake, a bar of chocolate or something from the charity shop. Even if you just put 50p or £1 in a pot each week it will soon add up and you can treat yourself to a little luxury.

puss14

Bitter and Twisted- yes it is difficult when trying so hard and not getting anywhere, I think I would be coping better if i was seeing the debt reduce. I do understand about the little things, my back is crap atm so i haven't been in the garden as much and this has always been my 'happy place'. I'll have to get my OH out on the weekend and order him around for an hour or so- thats bound to make me feel better:D I guess I should be pleased that with a reduced income we haven't got into anymore debt.

Anguk- yes I think you are right, I am going to start putting a $2 coin each week in a jar just for me, considering my OH is still smoking:mad: I think I should have something for myself.

anguk

puss14 wrote: »

Anguk- yes I think you are right, I am going to start putting a $2 coin each week in a jar just for me, considering my OH is still smoking:mad: I think I should have something for myself.

I've just remembered the "pin money" challenge, I'll have a look for a link. Basically every time you save a few pence put it in a purse or pot, so say you used a 50p coupon off something in the supermarket put that 50p in the pot. Then you can use the pin money savings for whatever you want, you could put it towards your debt or buy yourself a little treat or if your garden is your happy place buy yourself some nice new plants or pots!

Off to look for a link.

Edit: found one:
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/665439

Primrose

I think the 'secret stash' or pin money jar is quite an important psychological tool in trying not to let money worries nail you down. At a rather difficult time during OH's redundancy many years ago, I started charging myself for all the vegetables I grew. It's quite surprising how the cost of the odd lettuce or pound of tomatoes adds up and at the end of the year I had the satisfaction of concrete evidence of how much I'd managed to save. Keeping a record of it in this way helps guard against the negative feelings you inevitably sometimes get when you feel impotent to control your financial circumstances.

sammy_kaye18

Bitter and Twisted.

We found for a good while we were literally just keeping our head above water and we were really struggling - my partner lost his eye sight over night, I had to become the main breadwinner with a 2 year old, our tax credits over paid us and stopped our payments and it was right before Xmas 2008. I had just about given up hope. but I think its at times like that that you realise how strong and resourceful you can be. One of my favourite quotes that another MSE member sent to me (my guardian angel I swear it!) reads
“Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength.” It helped me through a lot. A few days later my best friend sent me a little poem with the poem 'dont quit' http://www.thedontquitpoem.com/thePoem.htm in it. It sits next to my bed for me to read every morning when I get up. Like you I don't go out, I only holiday to visit relatives, we don't go out to the cinema or lunch, I save every penny I can, I budget, I meal plan, I bake/cook etc, any clothes I get are usually for special occasions and are always second hand or cheap deals (2 for a £5 or off the sale rack) and I always double think things that I need myself in case my son, partner or bump need something first as I view them as my priority.

It is hard going but finally now our end is in sight - we have only 10 payments left on boyfriends debt and he will be debt free. I have recently changed my sim card in my phone thanks to a free one I was given so I now get orange Wednesday so we can at least go out and enjoy ourselves cheaply for once - which may not be a lot to some but the last time I went to the cinema was in 2004 and I was 7 months pregnant! Looking froward to being debt free and £200 a month better off - will help us immensely!