It is tough NOW. So how are we coping

Pitlanepiglet

gorgeous_gwen wrote: »

I'm so soppy I swear a tear started to form in my eye!

Now worried I might have overemp

Aw bless, well you made me cry, but then so are most things this weekend.

Well done on making your son a well rounded lad. What a sweetie he sounds!

calleyw

Pitlanepiglet wrote: »

Sorry to hear of your husbands problems.

Unfortunately for some of us a "roof over our heads" is going to be a real problem. We rent currently and if I get made redundant we won't be eligible for enough in benefits to pay our rent etc. here so we will have no option but to move 90 miles away to my Dad's as we would struggle to rent privately on housing benefit and no jobs. We won't be be eligible for local authority housing as we have no children so we're clearly a long way down the list.

I know things could be worse, we are happy and healthy, I think it's just that after four years of struggling, the thought of going through it all over again is pretty soul destroying.

I do understand that it is hard. The last two and bit years have been rubbish for me. As well as my husbands stroke, and having our lives ruined physically, emotionally and financally for ever, I lost my beloved grandmother as well other stuff going on including a couple of health problems for me.

But hey I am still here and still keep going. I am not going to trot the old it will make you stronger as even I don't believe that.

As I said it is going to get harder and as long as you and your partner pull together you will get through it. It might not be pretty but you/we will all get through it.

I do wish everyone having a hard time now all the best. I always knew life was not meant to be easy but sometimes wish it was not that hard.

We Old Stylers will weather the storm better than most as we already know how to live on nothing anyway.

Everyone take care.

Yours


Calley

Primrose

I really do feel for everybody who has been made redundant recently or who has the prospect of unemployment looming over them. Once this has happened to you it can change your financial outlook on life. Even if you get back on your feet again it does make you watch your spending more carefully. In the past I've found myself wandering round the supermarket, hand hovering over a bottle of wine and thinking "this would pay for one day's central heating, or a couple of meals if I were redundant" and have been reluctant to buy it. I suspect this is why the economy has just frozen. Everybody is walking around wondering what they can do without and thinking of the fundamentals they will need it for if they lose their jobs.

Maxjessdru

Been reading through this thread over the last few days and just wanted to add my ((((((hugs))))))) to everyone who is going through a difficult time. I (should) be ok this time round but really struggled to get through the last recession in 91 - OH was laid off 3 months after we moved into our new home, cutting our income by 2/3 and he couldn't get a job for ages (went to college in the end for 2 years). However, I do think some people (MSErs!!!) are more prepared now, with special thanks to websites like these! In 91 there was no ebay, no freecyle and few car boot sales. I managed then on £100 per month after bills for all food, clothes, petrol and emergencies - and a lot of goods were more expensive then, I remember our kettle breaking and we couldn't get another one for months because they were £20 for the cheapest.

I do wish everyone the very best in these tough times.

Maxjessdru

mardatha

I do wish everyone having a hard time now all the best. I always knew life was not meant to be easy but sometimes wish it was not that hard.

**********
Calley I agree totally with that !

ceridwen

Hi Mardatha

True! As my mother said to me once "well - its all character building they say - surely I don't need any more building my character?"

On a positive note personally - just been doing a bit more decluttering today....so a load of ceramic garden pots I had has just gone out the door to the home of another LETS member - and I am "better off" in my LETS account by 53 Lets Credits (ie the equivalent of £53). She's happy - she has a load of the type of pot she wasnt buying because of the use of world's resources involved, but felt okay about "buying" from me (as I'd already "used" those resources and they would only have gone to waste if not "bought"). I'm happy - I've reduced my LETS debit balance.

Just a typical example of a LETS "trade" - and I think barter schemes are going to come back into their own again now. I am sitting at a p.c. that a LETS member came with me to buy and then got sorted out for me, looking at a few items I "bought" from other LETS members and will go and check out my garden properly again in a minute - where I have a couple of plants "bought" from LETS members and I have evidence of LETS "trades" all round my home one way and another. So - it is a helpful idea. The friend that just "bought" my plantpots from me said the other day "We have been keeping the scheme 'warm' for when people join en masse again - so now the doors are open and waiting for those new members to come in" or words to that effect. So - come on in - the water's lovely - we're ready and waiting for you all:D

www.letslinkuk.net

jan2januk

Hi,

Hugs to all who are facing difficult situations. We as a family have had such a hard time over recent years that I feel we have a head start really in dealing with problems.

This is such a lovely supportive thread. I feel in these times we've got to be like the Emperor Penguins who huddle together in winter protecting their eggs - they could not survive on their own, but together they get through!

I have two sons in their twenties and when asked what they wanted for Christmas one said thermal underwear and the other asked for books from the classic range which cost £1.99 each. I was SO PROUD! Our hard times have produced two very caring, considerate young men.

Best wishes, Jan

Guapa1

nannaC wrote: »

Hi Guapa1,

I know you have probably already thought of this but just in case hope you dont mind me trying to help a little. As your accident was at work, did you fill in an accident form at work, if you were you off work for a while after the accident then the firm should have informed the HSE. Also if you pay full stamp then the sickness benefit people should have sent you Incapacity claim form after 26weeks off work instead of statutory sick pay. This is payed even if you get half pay. Also if it was a work accident it might be worthwile asking them about industrial injuries. If you need advice then the CAB are wonderful, I know because I too had to finish work on medical grounds and they helped me. Whatever you do do not resign your job, have the return to work crew asked you to go for a medical yet? Sorry if this sounds a bit hotch potch, but am trying to remember things as I type. Keep your chin up big hugs from Nanna'c

Thank you nanna c. I didn't know about the HSE, and will ask my company tomorrow. It was quite a high profile accident, and I think the HSE might have been involved. I haven't been asked for a medical yet. The union are sorting out industrial injuries. I thought I had to wait until work stopped paying me for incapacity? I'll look in to that tomorrow too. Thank you so much!

Caterina wrote: »

...and to add to nannaC's post above, if your job is in the public services and you would normally go on half pay after a certain time, if your time off sick is work-related they are not supposed to put you on half pay (but double check with personnel).

A very good place to check this sort of things I believe is ACAS, and if they cannot help directly they will be able to point you in the right direction.

http://www.acas.org.uk/index.aspx?articleid=1461

Best wishes

Caterina

Thank you Caterina, I'm not in the public sector but with my work they are paying me half pay for a year instead of six months as it's work related.



Jan your sons sound lovely!!

MRSMCAWBER

Thanks for that link Ceridwen

I was trying to explain about this process the other day to a neighbour -who obviously thought I was a nut job ..I just didn't know the name for it :rolleyes:
I am certainly interested in joining a group when I move back home.. My nearest one is Nottingham-which is quite a distance ... who knows, hopefully by then there will one closer..if not then i might just have to look into getting one going:D

ok -scrub that -there seems to be one in Mansfield which is as close as its going to get lol

Folio

Caterina wrote: »

I feel with all my heart the pain that so many people must feel when threatened by redundancy, debt and poverty. Caterina

So do I, oh so do I. The worst is when you don't know what is to happen and just have to live in dread

Caterina wrote: »

But could I please exhort the posters here to consider the reasons at the back of what has been called "deliberate single motherhood".

Isn't it TRAGIC that anyone HAS TO MAKE A BABY in order to get housing? Isn't a suitable home a basic human right?

The number of DELIBERATE single mothers (and I can vouch for this having worked in the community for what seems a million years) is much less than the gutter media would have us believe, in the same way that asylum seekers are by far and wide genuine people who have left their countries for really serious reasons and aren't (again, as some media would lead us to believe) scroungers and criminals.

There is a fundamental problem at the back of all this and it is the lack of political willingness to support the truly needy. Caterina

Trouble is, a lot of single mothers aren't truly needy to start with. I know of several who had reasonable homes with their parents but just wanted their own place and wanted it NOW - pregnancy and single motherhood is often their way of getting what they want. Perhaps we should also look at how many youngsters are allowed to grow up thinking they know their rights and don't care that alongside rights, there comes responsibility. And how come if a young girl gets pregnant it is society who have to foot the bill - why not the pregnant teenagers family? I accept that there are disfunctional families and this step wouldn't work in those circumstances - but they are a minority, so once again society has to change to suit the minority - not fair.

Caterina wrote: »

So many people here I am sure will say that in olden times these things were not quite as bad etc. To this I would argue that since the olden times, e.g. when the welfare state and NHS really worked as they were true nationalised services, when council housing was for rent and not for sale, there have been dramatic political changes that have turned the UK into a private enterprise, run by a few multinationationals. I personally would start looking at what Margaret Thatcher has done to ruin this country!

I arrived here in 1983 when things were still working and Maggie hadn't yet had time to destroy Great Britain through her senseless policies of doom. Within a few years I could see the difference and it did not look good! Unfortunately it is not even a "party thing", as Labour has followed through with just as damaging policies and the ones who pay for all this is

US: THE PEOPLE!!!

So it is not something that can be remedied by changing vote, but I believe that a solution (slow perhaps but the only one possible) is of personal responsibility and solidarity - the poor single pram-pushing girls, with their "council house facelift" hairdos and large earrings, are nothing but victims of a system that encourages the creation of need and exists only to feed itself.

Please don't let's blame the victims. Thank you. Caterina

I don't blame those who truly are victims, but I question the ratio of victims to those who have chosen a living on benefits lifestyle.