It is tough NOW. So how are we coping

rosepink1984

Big hugs Reverbe, PitlanePiglet and KJSam hope things improve for you soon

Rummer wrote: »

This thread is so valuable for lifting spirits and just as importantly giving people an outlet to share their worries and concerns. It is so important for us all to keep talking and sharing ideas and support.

That's so true, it can really help to get things off your chest and to be able to talk about how things are and what's on your mind.

BilberryCharlotte wrote: »

When I was having a rough time, had been made redundant at 40 something, my son told me that the Japanese word for problem is also the same as for opportunity. I don`t know if he had read it somewhere or he thought it would cheer me up, it worked anyway.

How sweet! I hope it is true, what a wonderful way to look at things!

anniewoo

Sorry to hear you are having an awful time at the moment Reverbe,hugs to you,Frugal,Hester and everyone else who needs them.

Pitlanepiglet

rosepink1984 wrote: »

That's so true, it can really help to get things off your chest and to be able to talk about how things are and what's on your mind.

This really is true, I haven't really been able to tell anyone how bad I feel about everything at the moment, we're all going through the same thing so it feels like just loading more onto hubby if I offload onto him.

ceridwen

...and I'm just thinking at the moment....and these ARE only my own personal thoughts I hasten to add:

That throughout most of human history (thinking only of Britain here) that the pace of life has been much slower/quieter/less living on "adrenaline" and I personally (knowing that, given half a chance, I can be "hyper"/anxious/depressed for England) am resolving to live as much in accordance with "older ways" as I can manage. Throughout most of human history to date:
- we have worked far shorter hours than we do now (the current long workweek only seems to have come in at the time of the Industrial Revolution and I was interested to read that some hundreds of years ago in this country people worked many hours less per week on average than we regard as normal in the early 21st century). So - I am not going to feel guilty about working less than I did and remember how hardpressed people were at the time of the Industrial Revolution - I am going to look further back to the times before that.

- as far as possible I will avoid crowds - because we have not been used to living in overcrowded societies throughout most of human existence (it seems that Britain only became overpopulated in the 19th Century) and wasnt something we had to cope with before then

- as far as possible I will remember that previous Societies have been much quieter than this one and try to recreate that as far as possible

- I have swopped from listening to pop music stations to listening to classical music ones and find I feel much calmer as a result and I like the sense of being "linked in" to past centuries that comes from listening to music of previous eras

Basically - I personally have come to the conclusion that I refuse to "buy into" the whole hassled/hurried/noisy 21st Century "mindset". I'm on strike in effect and will turn to "older ways" as much as I can. With that - whatever strikes me in the way of money problems/having to deal with living in a noisy and overcrowded society where most of us arent aware just how affected we are by the knowledge that some Idiot could "push a button" and our whole lives could be affected instantly/etc has a lot less impact on my "peace of mind" than it otherwise would. So - thats the way I am personally finding to go for - might not suit everyone - but it suits me. But - if anyone wants to join me in my particular way of "dont let the b*****s get you down" - then welcome.:D

Bargain_Rzl

ceridwen wrote: »

- as far as possible I will avoid crowds - because we have not been used to living in overcrowded societies throughout most of human existence (it seems that Britain only became overpopulated in the 19th Century) and wasnt something we had to cope with before then

- as far as possible I will remember that previous Societies have been much quieter than this one and try to recreate that as far as possible

- I have swopped from listening to pop music stations to listening to classical music ones and find I feel much calmer as a result and I like the sense of being "linked in" to past centuries that comes from listening to music of previous eras

I find these points very interesting indeed...

I have always been quite crowd-phobic, and yet I live almost in Central London. I've always lived life at my own pace (and don't get me wrong, sometimes that pace is manic! - but I don't let myself be dictated to by the expectation of how one lives one's life in a city).

I think perhaps the key to a happy life is not to live in any particular way, but to know what you're happy with, and to structure your life accordingly.

Bobbykins

Reverbe wrote: »

I just logged in this thread for some support as today it's kinda a not coping day. I have been bottling thigns up for ages and today I just broke down. ................................................

I have no doubt when a few posters on the OS board get wind of this they will be feeling very smug and happy so perhaps some good feeling will come from this.

Hi reverbe

I am a long time lurker/very occasional poster on this and the 5 OS pleasures thread. I was so sorry to hear you are feeling down that I just HAD to take one of my occasional trips out of "lurkdom" to say, please, please don't think that anyone would be glad to hear of your bad times. Everyone is very supportive on here and, whilst you may feel you have few "real life" friends, I am sure there are lots of OS'ers who regard you as a "virtual" friend.

I hope posting has helped you let off a little bit of steam and am sending you lots of "positive vibes" and ((((((hugs))))))

take care


Bobby
XXXXXXXX

charlies-aunt

Reverbe wrote: »

suddenly it has hit me what an awful life I have had so far. I have no doubt when a few posters on the OS board get wind of this they will be feeling very smug and happy so perhaps some good feeling will come from this.

I am sincerely sorry to hear about your difficulties - I can't believe that there any posters that would want to gloat over your misfortunes and if they dared to try, they would get a very rough ride from me and everyone else.

Times are tough and things could be much better ...but they could also be a lot worse... there's an old quote that runs along the lines of ' I was sad because I had no shoes until I met a man with no feet'

I am not trying to be sanctimonious - I am in hardship too - Basics baked beans feature frequently on the menu, the heating is off and will stay off indefinately and most of our clothes are shabby as they are years old ..but we are lucky to have the things that money can't buy .... there are plenty of rich cancer patients that would willing give everything that own to swop places with me.

Sending you friendship and lots of hugs x

Rachel021967

From a very young age my mum taught me the mantra - "there by the Grace of God go I". Like others you got there through no thought of your own. There are many who cannot find work. It is good that you are going to the National Debt helpline. Can you move in with a friend or family to tide you over. I wish you and your friend all the very best.

Hardup_Hester

Hi Reverbe
Life's not fair & all that, hopefully if your friend does lose his flat you may be eligible for social housing, if you have no furniture you can probably get help with that too. Hard as it is to watch a friend in trouble, it may be time you concentrated on you for a while
Hester

pagangirl

ceridwen wrote: »

...

Basically - I personally have come to the conclusion that I refuse to "buy into" the whole hassled/hurried/noisy 21st Century "mindset". I'm on strike in effect and will turn to "older ways" as much as I can. With that - whatever strikes me in the way of money problems/having to deal with living in a noisy and overcrowded society where most of us arent aware just how affected we are by the knowledge that some Idiot could "push a button" and our whole lives could be affected instantly/etc has a lot less impact on my "peace of mind" than it otherwise would. So - thats the way I am personally finding to go for - might not suit everyone - but it suits me. But - if anyone wants to join me in my particular way of "dont let the b*****s get you down" - then welcome.:D

Couldn't have put it better meself - count me in please.

I'm hoping to do some downsizing when job finishes end Dec, and maybe look for part-time work,(being optimistic here folks)!!! Would love to be able to afford early-retirement but finances won't allow. No jobs out there but temporary ones for Xmas period, so no help there - 43 days to go, then I'm back on the scrapheap as well - 2nd time in 18 months. :eek:

Bigs hugs to all especially to Frugallista, Reverbe, Hester and Pitlanepiglet

Reverbe - don't think anyone on here would be pleased you have problems hunny - we're all rooting for something good to happen to you.

Re credit cards being cancelled - same thing happened to me, as I was only keeping mine for emergencies, only used it and paid off once. No benefit to store concerned, so cancelled. :mad:

It would have been a good idea (as someone posted) to have used it periodically, just to keep it open.