My marriage is over I am gutted

GeorgeUK

So sorry to hear this.

Can't offer you any advice and i know you must be in pieces right now. There is a thread on the Money Savers Arms where some people who have recently gone through similar splits post. It's a good thread for support, ranting if required and advice. They'll be able to guide you through anything you would need to do moneywise while you feel torn.

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=1245343

Stay strong
George

CAFCGirl

Hey hun,

There arent the words at the moment..... all I can say is you are loved, and deserve true all consuming happiness for you and your daughter....

It's a different situation but you know me and my story, and someone said to me the other day "If you are going through hell...... keep on going".
I still dont want to get out of bed in the mornings, i still want to sit on my own and just sob till I ache all over but there will be light, and thats all I can think of during these times.....

Wishing you love, and pm me if you need anything xx

Pippilongstocking

HI there just wanted to send you another hug - take a huge deep breath in, shut your eyes and then squeeze yourself tight, deep breath out - my version of a hug to someone a long way away - it kinda works - honest! Repeat as often as necessary.

Now the boring science bit
Single parent to two kids since they were <2 and <4 - 10 years on - whilst I can't confess to knowing where you are at I can say it will be rewarding, challenging, frustrating, amazing and suddenly like me you will find yourself amazed and pleased at how lovely your kids are, and it will be mainly down to you!!

When the mushy mush mush mush clears - look at things like single parent forums - dunno where you are mines is one parent familes scotland http://www.opfs.org.uk/
What these people don't know isnt worth shaking a stick at. They are on the end of a phone, and when practical things come calling they will have the person to speak to, fact sheet to help you or just an ear.
Its too soon right now, but worth filing away. They have a whole file of fact sheets they send you in first class post, free of charge and are awesome.

AND OF COURSE THERE ARE ALL THE WONDERFUL FABBY GORGEOUS FOLK HERE.

Much love to you, sorry to have rabbitted on, I know its scary - but you have done alot of the hard stuff already without probably knowing it. xxxxx

When ready - best foot forward, love to you x

doodledo_2

Thank you all for your kind words you have reduced me to tears, although I don't think thats a hard thing to do at the moment.

It really helps knowing there are people out there who know what I am going through and there are so many of you who are out the other side.

My main concern is providing a wonderful life for my daughter.

lunar

so sorry to here your news. you will provide a brilliant life for your daughter, you sound like an amazing mum. we are all thinking of you

LilacPixie

I'm sorry to here this Doodledo. You were one of the first to reply to my first ever post.

On a practical side please look at entitled to to see what if any benefits you may be entitled to. If you currently claimtax credits as a couple you must tell them as soon as possible to minimise the chance of an overpayment.

mummum2

So sorry to read this post, sending you lots of hugs and know that we're thinking of you.:grouphug:

Bestthingsinlifearefree

Hi Doodledo,

It must all be very raw / emotional at the moment and you must be in a bit of a daze. Just take one day at a time, step by step. Yes there are going to be practical decisions to be made but don't be rushed, consider your options. Look after yourself emotionally. At a times of turbulence we all need to call on support.

If you can keep things as "amicable" as possible with your other half that will help but I guess that depends on the nature of the split and his attitude etc.

Remember to be a great mum / parent etc does not cost money. To show an interest in your childs life, to make them laugh, to enjoy a game of scrabble or kick a ball round the park, to invite their friends round, to spend time with your child, does not cost money. Whether you get divorved or not, whether your OH is involved or not there are so many small things you can do each day to ensure your child has a wonderful life and a good upbringing.

Take a step back, take a deep breath, yes there will be good days and bad days, yes there will be difficult decisions and challenges but there will also be opportunities and a chance to grow and go forward.

You will get through this and you will come out the other side. Stay as positive as you can. Keep posting.

I wish you well.

Best,

nuttyp

hi doodledo, so sorry to hear your dilema, its so hard especially near xmas. My husband left me 7 and a half years ago for younger model!!! I exchanged my council house to live near my mum n dad, just at the end of the road, and i can safely say my 2 daughters aged 17 and 13 are lovely. They are MY pride and joy. Everything they have I (or my parents) have done for them. And next year were all going abroad to disney!! cant wait. They have to do jobs for me and family to earn spending money.

Things will seam daunting at the start, but eventualy you will see things differnently. Make sure you check what benfits your entitled too, also register with you local ha/council for cheap housing should you need to move out.

Sending hugs and best wishes

john_boot

Really sorry to hear this.... the only thing I can really say is that time is a healer (although right now for you that wont be much consolation), but in the meantime, keep talking to people and allow your emotions to get out and this is much healthier than trying to deal with it all yourself or bottling things up.

Keep your head up