How would you handle this situation

morganb

To be fair, we don't know the teacher lied; we can only suspect; and I would have thought this isn't really something worth lying about. I'm a teacher, I certainly wouldn't waste my time / the child's time / the Head's time / parent's time (in no particular order) lying about whether I said a child could or could not have a piece of toast if they had or had not paid.

DS1 surprised me once at Pre-School when he told me that, as it was Chinese New Year, he wasn't allowed to wear a hooded top.

His keyworker was completely baffled as to where that came from, but DS1, who has always been honest and straight as a die (within my earshot, anyway) was adamant that that was what he had been told, and there was no changing his mind.

And also, I dont' think it's a bad thing that you have to make an appointment to see DDs teacher. You wouldn't just turn up at the Doctors on the off-chance would you. I shouldn't think you'd just nip in to the Dentists for a quick check-up without an appointment, either. I think it is highly professional that you need to make an appointment to see DD's teacher; I would expect no less, either as a teacher or a parent. How do you know if she hasn't got a meeting/appointment with another parent?

Pssst

In the scale of things I wouldnt worry too much about a bit of toast and a possible mis-interpretation. Teachers teach,they dont normally do catering. Some people havent had anything to eat for some time.

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peachyprice

Why on earth are parents paying the school for a mid-morning snack. Fruit is provided for all KS1 children and is more than enough to keep them going until lunch time.

belfastgirl23

I kind of think you need to take some responsibility too for forgetting to send the money in the first place - the reason your DD didn't get her snack is because you didn't pay for it. Sorry if that sounds harsh but it is also true.

And I don't really understand why you went straight to see the head - tbh in my working life if someone didn't come to me with a problem and went straight to my boss (who you have already said is rude) then I might be inclined to be less than truthful too. This doesn't excuse lying but it is easy to judge people without thinking about what stresses they are under, I'd say it's worth trying to give the teacher the benefit of the doubt rather than leaping on her the minute she does something you don't approve of...

johnpaulpops

I think it's a bit of a hard-faced response too, I'm a single parent and have often forgotten dinner money due to routines between me and the ex. The school simply sends out a gentle reminder, they certainly don't starve my son.

I think trying to take this further may backfire, but a gentle reminder at parents evening may not go amiss - something to the effect that you know a number of other parents had complained too, this makes it clear you all know the teacher is lying but without pointing the finger. Hopefully, the teacher will think twice next time around.

JP

bestpud

The snack money is to cover the term and you still hadn't paid after the half term break - i.e. 6 weeks in?

I think it is likely the teacher was a little 'heavy' with the threat of refusing a snack to those who have not paid and some have taken her at her word. But if she did refuse it then I agree it is as much your fault for not paying.

As said, how are they to know whether you actually want her to have the snack or not? Maybe if you forget in future you could let them know you do want dd to have the snack and will be paying the following day? I do know how it is though - we have a check list in the hallway now and we check it every day before we leave as I was forever back and forth with blimming things!!

johnpaulpops - with respect, lunch is slightly different to a snack! I doubt any primary (and probably secondary to) would refuse a child lunch because they hadn't paid. I know they don't at dd's school but then it seem people have been taking advantage of the fact they will feed them and not bothering to order in advance. The problem with that is there is going to be less for those who have ordered, and paid, in advance, as requested.

Can't win really, can they?

Re the appt - that's unusual for this stage in my experience but I imagine she would see you for something you felt was urgent? For general stuff it's not a bad idea imo as they can be inundated after school I find.

I would leave it tbh. What are the other parents doing/thinking about it?

If you are worried about the teacher's approach in general then I would make a point of asking your dd about her day, but be very careful about making a fuss in front of her as that will put her off saying in the future (speaking as someone with a similar sounding elder dd). The quieter they are, the more discrete you have to be with issues, I've found.

RobertoMoir

johnpaulpops wrote: »

I think it's a bit of a hard-faced response too, I'm a single parent and have often forgotten dinner money due to routines between me and the ex. The school simply sends out a gentle reminder, they certainly don't starve my son.

You don't think that dinner is a bit different to an extra bit of toast at breaktime?

johnpaulpops wrote: »

I think trying to take this further may backfire, but a gentle reminder at parents evening may not go amiss - something to the effect that you know a number of other parents had complained too, this makes it clear you all know the teacher is lying but without pointing the finger. Hopefully, the teacher will think twice next time around.

JP

This I do agree with. This is a nice way of making a point without making a fuss, which would achieve little at this point anyway imho.

mamamia

TBH, if it was me, I would not make a fuss about this at all. Not having a piece of snack(toast) did not and would not do your child any harm. Next time, remember to pay on time so that you won't have to find out if the teacher is a liar or not. Having lived abroad b/4, it makes me realise that we complain alot about unnecessary things here. Please stop looking for nothing when you've got everything.